The road less travelled

FBaby

daviecol wrote: »

I have been made redundant 5 times in my life, twice in the past 3 years. Each time I have had to learn new skills. Losing your job when you've got 2 kids and a mortgage is very scary.

In the past I have had to extend my mortgage, take out loans, and borrow on credit cards to get by at times (I would imagine practically everybody who visits this site has, that's what it's here for).

I currently earn less now than I did 15 years ago, but that's the way it is now. We're all going to have to do more for less for longer. Which is why I agreed with the poster who said 'I'm glad I'm coming to the end of my working life', so am I.

That's another thing that can be frustrating, the assumption that those who have a job and manage ok are just....lucky.... same as if you are slim, it can only be because you are lucky, no consideration to the fact that it might the result of hard dedicated work.

Whether on this forum or around me, all I get is excuses for not even trying. There's no point, there's too much competition, they'll never offer me the hours I want, there are no jobs where I live etc... There is always a point if there is even a very small chance of getting there but of course, it is hard work, you get demoralised, you get undermined, you spend a lot of time and energy for little reward, until you finally do get that break. My experience in life has been that you can get what you want against the odds, if you are prepared to go for it, accept that you won't be successful at the first try, that you will have to give your absolute best every time, and keep faith. It's not easy, and that's why except for a few extremely lucky, those who do get the rewards usually deserve it.

kafkathecat

Fbaby you still ignore the fact that there are not enough jobs. For what it is worth neither myself nor my immediate family have ever been on benefits but I have seen how that can change for anyone which is why I consider myself lucky.

dirtysexymonkey

determined_new_ms wrote: »

ok I read this thread last night and it really made me feel uncomfortable, but wanted a bit of time to formulate a thought out response rather than knee jerk.

OP congratulations that you have supported yourself and your family, through hard work and you rightly should feel proud of your efforts. But there is something uncomfortable about the way you have framed it.

I was irresponsible as a teenager (go figure a kid acting like a kid!) and fell pregnant by a looser, had a child fell pregnant again and then he promptly left me and was never to be seen again for 12 years. I was on benefits, living in a council house, struggling to bring up two children with no family support. Believe me there was no living the high life, there was deprivation, at times choosing to go without food so my children could eat and I could pay the bills and buy them the basics, the constant stress and strain and sense of being a failure, people ostracising me from the community, someone stopping me in the street to let me when what a useful parent I was and how there are people in the world who really want children and then there are people like me who get them, being in a taxi and the driver gossiping about someone in the street who was me (all of it BS and twisting of the truth in the most cruel way). I put myself through night school, then uni and then went straight to work from there and have stayed there since. These experiences had a massive impact on my sense of worth and as a result an impact on my children's lives. I was not the f e c k less deserving and it is cruel for a community to not offer a person struggling some support.

I now work with vulnerable people and I would suggest the people who you are painting in a very dark light are few and far between. Mostly there are real complex reasons for why people aren't working, and right now there are very few jobs around and the ratio of people to positions is not equal. I have just secure a new position which I start in Jan. There was 1 position and 54 people went for it. Whenever I recruit there are many people who go for the role but only 1 or 2 positions.

Over the last 2 years there have been massive media coverage on the f e c k less, work shy bonvivonts living the high life while the rest of us pay for it. Do you not even have the teeniest suspicion that the government has been feeding these stories to the media to whip up the frenzy in the country to allow for the massive and horrendous cuts that are about to happen to the welfare reforms? As this is my field of work I am following the reforms very closely and they are frightening. What is going to happen within the next year is - 500,000 additional street homeless people by Oct 2012, child poverty is going to sky rocket and there are no jobs for people to go into. Its a really frightening to think about what is going to happen to these people and families.

can i just ask, in all seriousness why do you think it was wrong for those people to judge you?

they went out to work to pay taxes and saw you, never worked, having kid after kid and getting everything paid for. would that not annoy you?

also - unless you were visited by an angel you didnt fall pregnant - you willingly and actively became pregnant twice. on benefits. you were irresponsible and for a long time you were f e c k less. you might not be now, but you were then and nothing will erase that.

cheepskate_2

clearingout wrote: »

because when you sit in a classroom, and the teachers tell you that you're never going to amount to anything, and no one mentions university to you but does mention MacDonalds, and your parents are in low paid jobs or have been in and out of work, and people generally are rude to you about your parents not having done anything with their lives, and you listen to what is said around you about low paid work and you realise just how little any contribution you might make to society will be valued...when you look in an estate agent's window and it costs £1000 a month to rent a small house and you realise on a MacDondald's wage, you'll never afford that...when you take a part-time job and suddenly realise that the trainers on your feet cost around 3 days of work to buy....you either take the easy option and become a mum or you stick two fingers up and work your backside off to get somewhere. Unfortunately, at 16, where your peers are more important to you than anything else, pregnancy is very much a viable option and gains you some respectability. As a mum you are someone, rather than no one. (QUOTE)



So we really empowrer these 16 year olds to become single parent by giving them such benefits.

This is the problem, when anybody dares critizises non working single parents all hell breaks out. Society (parts of) really see no wrong in people having child after child without being able to support them.

Really don't see why non working parent/s need to have more children while they are not supporting them.

I also don't see why when a single parent only needs to work 16 hours, considering their child will be at school all day.

Person_one

dirtysexymonkey wrote: »

they went out to work to pay taxes and saw you, never worked, having kid after kid and getting everything paid for. would that not annoy you?

Hello, I'm a taxpayer and I have never ever not once felt annoyed about my taxes being spent on benefits. Or education, the NHS, social services, police, fire service, sure start, etc etc.

Now, wars in the middle east, nuclear arms programmes, bankers bonuses, royal weddings, MPs expenses, that's a different story,

dirtysexymonkey

Person_one wrote: »

Hello, I'm a taxpayer and I have never ever not once felt annoyed about my taxes being spent on benefits. Or education, the NHS, social services, police, fire service, sure start, etc etc.

Now, wars in the middle east, nuclear arms programmes, bankers bonuses, royal weddings, MPs expenses, that's a different story,

im sure you havent. your far too busy thinking about your own self importance no doubt to concern yourself with any of that.;)

Person_one

dirtysexymonkey wrote: »

im sure you havent. your far too busy thinking about your own self importance no doubt to concern yourself with any of that.;)

I thought you'd got bored of stalking and randomly insulting me.

If you're going to start up again at least try to use insults that make some sense!

dirtysexymonkey

Person_one wrote: »

I thought you'd got bored of stalking and randomly insulting me.

If you're going to start up again at least try to use insults that make some sense!

you really are deluded, arent you? you replied to a post of mine, which was in no way anything about you.

Person_one

dirtysexymonkey wrote: »

you really are deluded, arent you? you replied to a post of mine, which was in no way anything about you.

Your post talked about taxpayers.

I'm a taxpayer.

dirtysexymonkey

Person_one wrote: »

Your post talked about taxpayers.

I'm a taxpayer.

my post was a reply to a post with questions for that particular poster.

it had nothing to do with you and yet you replied. this is a forum and thats fine but then you accuse me of stalking you, after you replied to my post.:rotfl: