Putting home into family trust to avoid nursing home fees

pearl123

I intend to avoid care fees by grinding myself into the ground by looking after my parent at home. No matter what it takes.

[Deleted User]

pearl123 wrote: »

I intend to avoid care fees by grinding myself into the ground by looking after my parent at home. No matter what it takes.

I would not want my children to do this, all of a sudden and before you can blink, life is over and money means absolutely nothing. I would rather they grow old without the martyrdom and without the aches and pains that come from doing too much

I have a lovely, well maintained home but won`t dream if putting it into trust or even giving it away. It will pay for my choice of platinum standard care, if I should need it and I will, hopefully, be one of the many who dont but if it has to be sold, then it has to be sold.

Why on earth should other tax payers pay for my care?

Goldiegirl

Pearl, I have no idea of your parent's care needs, but hope you know what you're letting yourself in for - they could end up living to over 100, needing 24 hour care - and ALL their needs attended too.

You may want to preserve your inheritance, but perhaps you also need to think about what's best for your parent. Perhaps your care won't be sufficient, and they'll need care in a home.

What's most important - the inheritance or the parent's well being?

Pollycat

Goldiegirl wrote: »

Pearl, I have no idea of your parent's care needs, but hope you know what you're letting yourself in for - they could end up living to over 100, needing 24 hour care - and ALL their needs attended too.

You may want to preserve your inheritance, but perhaps you also need to think about what's best for your parent. Perhaps your care won't be sufficient, and they'll need care in a home.

What's most important - the inheritance or the parent's well being?

I thought the same, Goldiegirl.

And to your question I'd also add:
What's most important - the inheritance or the parent's well being or your own well-being?

Grinding yourself into the ground looking after a parent might save your inheritance but at what personal cost?

I'd rather my parent was happy in a well-chosen care home, being looked after and accept that there may not be much money left after they die than spend potentially years of drudgery and run the risk of resentment souring a relationship.

pearl123

Goldiegirl wrote: »

Pearl, I have no idea of your parent's care needs, but hope you know what you're letting yourself in for - they could end up living to over 100, needing 24 hour care - and ALL their needs attended too.

You may want to preserve your inheritance, but perhaps you also need to think about what's best for your parent. Perhaps your care won't be sufficient, and they'll need care in a home.

What's most important - the inheritance or the parent's well being?

I have been caring for my mother since I was a child. I already know it is exhausting. I don't work due to caring responsibilities. If I gave up and my mother went into a home it would leave me with nothing, hence my statement I will care until I drop.

Mojisola

pearl123 wrote: »

I intend to avoid care fees by grinding myself into the ground by looking after my parent at home. No matter what it takes.

pearl123 wrote: »

I have been caring for my mother since I was a child. I already know it is exhausting. I don't work due to caring responsibilities. If I gave up and my mother went into a home it would leave me with nothing, hence my statement I will care until I drop.

The most important consideration is what is right for the person needing care, not what the carer wants to do or feels is right for them.

Doc_N

pearl123 wrote: »

I have been caring for my mother since I was a child. I already know it is exhausting. I don't work due to caring responsibilities. If I gave up and my mother went into a home it would leave me with nothing, hence my statement I will care until I drop.

You deserve full credit for what you are doing, and what you have done.

A far cry from much of the greed and avarice displayed in parts of this thread.

moneyistooshorttomention

pearl sounds pretty desperate to me - and understandably so. Caring for someone must be incredibly hard - but doing so since she was a child = what chance has she had to have a life of her own? So - put like that = its entirely understandable how she feels.

I can see all sides on this issue - though my own pov personally is that surely no-one would go into a home of any description (nursing/care/whatever) if their health was good enough to continue living in their own home? That being the case then that means that what they are in receipt of is medical care and the NHS (or other State body) is due to pay for peoples medical care. Its not the case, with the vast majority of people any rate, that they have chosen an "alternative living arrangement". More that they have been forced into a position where that is the only way their healthcare needs are going to be met.

I can look at this from an outsider viewpoint as far as I personally am concerned - as I own my own home, but would never go into a home of any description in the first place - so I know my money will safely go to where I have decided it will (ie a charity). So at least I won't be "sitting up on a cloud" after my demise getting annoyed at my money having been grabbed.

It is worrying that my parents (very ordinary) little home has been at risk of vanishing into the State's maws since some point in the 1980s (think that was when all this "grab a home to cover care fees" thing started???) and just having to cross fingers and hope it doesn't come to it - and I know my parents would be upset at the thought of their money getting grabbed by the State if it did. Actually, it would feel very unjust too - as much of my fathers ill health has come from the State (ie having been made ill by being in the Armed Forces for many years) and I believe much of my mothers ill health has come as a knock-on effect of that as well. So, though I disagree with all that, they are owed by the State as payment for having been "cannon fodder" on its behalf.....

seven-day-weekend

The point is, not everyone in a home needs NURSING care, as in medical care. Some need help with dressing, eating, drinking, toileting, or can't be left alone; this can't be catered for in their own home, so they have to go into care. These are the people who will have to self-fund if they have the assets as it is not considered to be nursing care. Those who need what is considered to be genuine nursing care will not have to pay.

moneyistooshorttomention

I guess I should have phrased it a bit better - but if there is any aspect of "dressing, eating, drinking, toileting" that people couldn't manage it would be purely and simply because of having health problems that prevent them doing them for themselves as normal.

We all manage these things fine if we don't have health problems - so its another level of nursing care (if not one involving giving them injections/operations/etc).