Disabled-Would Love Another Child-Should I???

MarkyMarkD

Thanks to everyone for nice words (and 1 PM) - I greatly appreciate you all.

sarahlouise210

Hi Marky Mark! Congratulations indeed. The D at the end of your user name now stands for "daddy" ! x

Sofa_Sogood

To Mads13 ... only you'll know. But I wish you well. I don't think you're being selfish but what do I know? Good luck though x

To MarkyMark ... Congratulations! (It does get better sometimes) x

HappySad

I have read some of the first treads and this is what I think.

Wanting and having a child IS a selfish act. Who want to be born to parents that don't selfishly WANT them. 30 is not too old to have a child. Where I live most of the mothers that I know are in their mid 30's. Having a child in your mid to late 30's does mean that you have more chance of having fertility problems but this has not stopped the mothers that I know.

I had my child when I was in my mid 30's. I also have MD. For two years before I had my child I WANTED to have one but waited until certain things were in place.. like maternity leave and savings. When I had my child within days of the birth I became manic and had to be admitted to hospical with my child and was looked after to good health for 2months. My partner and family was completely supportive.

Now my son is almost 2 I like yourself WANT to have another child. I don't want my current child to be an only son.. so he has someone to playwith and grow up with. I believe that I can give my children a supportive and happy childhood and a good grounding for adulthood.

My MD does not happen all the time and when I am not High or Low you could not tell I have it. Most of my friends are not aware that I have MD as I live a normal live being a full time mother. I have done a lot of reading of self-help books and have been able to have a good insight into my depressions have so far not had a depression for over 4years.. I have been able to build up my self confidence, self esteem, my social skills and loneliness to give me the ability to feel confident that I will not go into depression for a long long time.

My manic phases I am also working on. I am a goal/task/acheivement driven person and this can be good the depression but can be bad for the manic as you can drive yourself into a manic episode. I do various things to reduce my manic & psychosis episodes that I have learnt from the MDF fellowship and from reading books.

My father thinks that I should adopt my second child and think that I am risking too much with having another child. My sister knows how I feel and thinks that the desire to expand your family with your own child is a strong one and that with support I can manage. My partner also wants for us to have another child. My phychiatries says that I have a 50:50 chance of getting another manic phycosis (sorry about the spelling I am dyslexic) and suggest that I wait until my son is at least 2years old before having another child.

I have heard of other mothers with MD that is more server than mine that have had all her children in care. This worries me.... will my MD get worst with the second child that they take my children away? This I will have to talk to my doctors about. All my manic episodes I have fully recovered from and been able to go back to full time work. I am now a full time mother through choice and also because the doctors say that I will not be able to manage the stresses of being a mother and working also.

gravitytolls

Have you dealt/talked about the abuse with anyone? Maybe victim support?

Have a chat with your health advisor/gp about your health.

The only thing stopping you from havong a baby is self doubt methinks. Are you worried you're feeling broody because a baby will be something to focus on other than ill health?

I'm quite sure you want a baby because your body and soul are telling you you're ready for one.

The very fact that you're not rushing into a decision about pregnancy indicates that you're likely to cope, as your thoughts are already focused on the welfare of a baby.

Good luck and don't forget to let us know when congratulations are due.