lies about money and sexting :(

krlyr

Would he be willing to go to relationship counselling? Someone like Relate could be able to help.

NickyBat

At the end of the day and regardless of what anyone says on here, the decision ultimately lies with you.

Can you ever trust him again or can you live with a relationship that doesn't have any trust?

i do know of a couple that survived one partner having and 8 year affair, they came through the other side and lived quite happily, but it did have a knock on effect on the children and their future relationships and marriages.

He has done this to you once already, do you think he will change................or not?

purple-fairy_2

He is willing to go to councelling, we live in quite a remote area though so we need to find out what's available round here.

The children don't know anything about what's going on, it's not like we're having blazing rows in front of them. Keeping busy with getting them ready for school in the morning and dinner and bedtime routine in evening so they're not aware of any awkwardness.

I honestly don't know if he can change, or whether I'd ever be able to trust him again, but I want to be able to say we've tried everything before I walk away. If we go through councelling and work on our relationship issues and I still feel unable to trust him, or anything were to happen again I can and will walk away.

doodoot

purple-fairy wrote: »

I honestly don't know if he can change, or whether I'd ever be able to trust him again, but I want to be able to say we've tried everything before I walk away.

And that's the most important thing you have said so far.

People really can change given time and the chance...but it's ultimately up to them to do sooner rather than later.

It kills me to say this but my ex appears to be the most loving and attentive partner to his current partner/wife (he calls her that but I don't know if they married).

When we were together he was the most abusive man I have ever met - one of my boys is still in therapy because of it.

Apparently he has sorted himself out and is a caring partner now...shame he has thrown his children to one side, doesn't want to see them and hasn't coughed up any cash for 5 years but I suppose we can't have everything perfect eh?

sambucaman

bottom line, it sounds like you cant trust him, and shouldn't.

Tough one.