is it bullying?

Googlewhacker

I like how the OP has just ignored my question....speaks volumes to me.

Pound

I don't think you're being stupid, anyone would feel unhappy if they're being ignored all day.

I think it might be a good idea to have a chat with your manager about the situation. You could approach the situation of being ignored if you feel up for it. But what might be easier for you is if you instead talk to him about the lack of training you've had compared with other people.

Perhaps write down all the training other people have had and the training you've had (if any) and highlight that you don't feel like you're getting the same opportunities as other people. I've been in a situation where I wasn't happy with things happening at work, I was surprised to see things suddenly turn around in my favour after having a discussion with my boss.

blossomhill_2

epatolles wrote: »

i feel like im being stupid but its affecting my health now, finding it hard to sleep and suffering from anxiety.

Googlewhacker - see above, OP is lacking sleep and suffering anxiety - therefore may not be responding in their normal way, esp to posts on a forum

jojo_2012_2

Sounds like bullying to me. When they gave me a slideshow to watch when I started my job (NHS hospital). They pretty much said if one staff member hugs another staff member but not you that's bullying. Don't know I'd want to be hugged but you get the idea.

I agree with what others have said about you going to the HR department it's really not on and would make for a very uncomfortable work environment. They should engage with you whether you try to start a conversation with them or not!

Googlewhacker

blossomhill wrote: »

Yes, unfortunately it is negative behaviour towards you and can be classed as bullying as it can lead to workplace stress.

Your employer has a legal responsibility to prevent or deal with workplace stress - if your health or wellbeing begins to suffer because of it, make sure you discuss with your GP before it makes you ill, and if it does lead to absence get the reason for any absence recorded on the cert as "workplace stress" - this is v important as it then places a legal responsibility on your employer to solve it, (whereas a reason like "stress" or "depression" doesn't) - it is no longer your problem. This is a higher responsibility than your manager.

You will find good advice on the HSE pages at http://www.hse.gov.uk/stress/furtheradvice/bullyingindividuals.htm

Actually tackling the manager may be a step too far while you are already feeling undermined, so I would concentrate on asking for the training to do your job, and using any review to record that you have not been offered it.

It is a difficult situation for you, and you have my sympathy, but please don't look to yourself for the reasons; the people have a pack mentality and if it wasn't you not drinking it would be your haircut or someone else's lisp or the fact they looked like Cliff Richard - ie no logic to it

Sorry but having Workplace stress written down on the form doesn't make it automatically the companies fault or responsibility. The GP has no idea on the work you do so they can only go of what you say and tbh employees tend to look towards outside influences when teh causes can be within themselves. Workplace stress is also to vague and you have to prove that it is happening. For all we know the they have tried to get the OP involved but if the OP doesn't like anything they do then a relationship is dead.

As for training, the OP needs to be asking for this. And this begs the question, how long has the OP been there, I am guessing prob not a year yet.

Yes it sucks being ignored but the OP needs to be engaging the staff and the group as well, not just relying on them trying to talk to them. I suspect this is one of those occasions where the OP just has nothing in common with the other members because if they did they would be talking about it.

Both partys are at fault.

Googlewhacker

jojo_2012 wrote: »

Sounds like bullying to me. When they gave me a slideshow to watch when I started my job (NHS hospital). They pretty much said if one staff member hugs another staff member but not you that's bullying. Don't know I'd want to be hugged but you get the idea.

I agree with what others have said about you going to the HR department it's really not on and would make for a very uncomfortable work environment. They should engage with you whether you try to start a conversation with them or not!

Yes they should engage with the OP but how do we know they have not tried numerous times and they just have nothing in common, ultimately the OP is not there to be spoon fed and they have to contribute as well.

Presumably the OP will have listened to what they are talking about so could get an interest in what the common topics are.

blossomhill_2

Workplace stress is not too vague at all - HSE have no trouble defining it, attributing responsibility for dealing with it, and publishing stats and factsheets on it.

As you say, yours is only a view Googlewhacker and hopefully the OP wll be up to taking some sensible constructive advice, maybe from us professionals

OP - I worked in an area where my manager joined in everyone's sports chat - his manager told him in no uncertain terms that he had to find some common ground with me too, as I didn't like sport! I let him off the hook as I had no interest in chatting to him about my niche hobbies, but at least he had acknowledged our differences instead of seeing it as my problem for not liking sport

Googlewhacker

blossomhill wrote: »

Workplace stress is not too vague at all - HSE have no trouble defining it, attributing responsibility for dealing with it, and publishing stats and factsheets on it.

As you say, yours is only a view Googlewhacker and hopefully the OP wll be up to taking some sensible constructive advice, maybe from us professionals

OP - I worked in an area where my manager joined in everyone's sports chat - his manager told him in no uncertain terms that he had to find some common ground with me too, as I didn't like sport! I let him off the hook as I had no interest in chatting to him about my niche hobbies, but at least he had acknowledged our differences instead of seeing it as my problem for not liking sport

If you have noticed I did change the start of the paragraph what I put but obviously you were typing at the time I changed it.

I have no problem with what work Place stress is but as I stated the DR is unlikely to know the ins and outs of the work place and thus is only going of what the employee says which lets face it isn't always accurate and as you put work place stress has many different ways of occurring so simply writing work place stress is not enough.

Also proving that they are being ignored is alot harder than just telling a Dr that you feel you are being ignored.

Googlewhacker

Don't get me wrong, it sucks to be the OP but they have not demonstrated anything on this thread that they have been proactive in

1) Conversing with fellow members of staff
2) Requesting the training they require
3) Being flexible to learn what the other members of staff like

It can be argued (most likely correctly) that the employers have not done the same as well but it is not a one way street. Both parties need to change.

ILW

Could just go for a drink with your workmates occasionally. They most likely believe you do not like them.