Popping the Question

dinkylou

Aww there are some lovely suggestions on here and its so nice that you are thinking about it and making an effort. Quite a few of my friends have got engaged/married recently and we have spoken about when they were asked.

Personally, I would ask her dad first as its a lovely gesture but keep it secret.

I would nt go mad on price on a ring as she probably wont care how much you've spent as long as its in a style she likes (keep receipt though and check exchange policy. )


But the main thing, plan what is going to happen and what you are going to say to her. My friends boyf proposed to her on the beach, but what she said was the best thing was that he got down on one knee and told her exactly how he felt about her, how she made him smile, how he would only ever want her etc etc. She burst into tears as she said it was how he had said all those nice things which meant so much to her. He just poured his heart out.

I think thats lovely and makes it much more of a moment than just blurting it out in a hurry or rushing or anything. Am sure she'll remember that moment forever.

BrunoM

Ring probably depends partly on her "style". If she is big on jewellery, lots of girl friends who will look and compare, etc etc, it may be best to go higher, but if like my fiancee she really isn't a jewel-wearer, quite a tom-boy, it's maybe best to go for something light and un-scary, I got a very lovely ring which she honestly loves for only a little over a week's salary.

As to asking the dad, I did call her father (they're Californian and he is still living there); he's got a strong US accent and I have a strong London one and we've often had "repeating yourself" conversations, so I shouldn't have been surprised when the call went like this:

"Hi Derek, I was hoping to talk to you about asking your daughter to marry me."

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY DAUGHTER'S ANATOMY???"

Eventually he calmed down...

popping_the_question

Unfortunately she doesnt wear any rings at the moment, nor does she have any that she puts on to go out in. This will be a complete stab in the dark on ring size I would think. I think its best if I go too big rather than too small as it can always be adjusted to the correct size and I certainly wouldnt want it not to fit on the day.
I dont speak to her dad that often so may give that one a miss I would think.
So looks like I may well go shopping this weekend

bandraoi

The tradition was never to ask a girls Father before you propose to her.
I dunno why people think it was. It's some sort of myth that's built up over the years.

Read your Jane Austen and your 19th Century etiquette books.
You'll find that the man ALWAYS asked the girl first, she gave her consent, but they didn't consider themselves officially engaged until they had asked for her parents consent too.

The process went something like - boy asks girl, girl agrees, they tell nobody else until boy and girl go to parents house. Boy asks for audience in study with girls father and girl sits in sitting room and tells girls mother. Once girls parents are happy. the rest of the world was told.

I think that it was assumed that the boy had consulted his own parents (if necessary) before asking the girl.