Popping the Question

misspoppy

I don't think you should give her a ring when you propose, let her choose then you won't make an expensive mistake.

If your gf is very close to her Dad it might be a nice touch to ask permission as long as he likes you!

If you live near a jewellry quater eg Birmingham, their stock is very good quality and well priced. It can be worth double what you pay for it.

I hope she says yes!

Imelda

I am a bit of a traditional girl myself (in some ways anyway) and I would love it if my OH asked my Dad first, well maybe not ask but just let him know what he was going to do.
I would also like him to choose the ring, loads of my mates got proposed to and then went out and chose the ring themselves, I think this spoils the magic of the occasion as 1) you have nothing to flash about when you tell people 2) there is the awkwardness of knowing how much it is and 3) if you're going to marry someone they should know your taste well enough to choose a ring.
I've been going out with my OH for 2 years and he keeps dropping hints about marriage and children (he thinks he's being subtle!)..... you're not my boyfriend are you?!?

newlywed

misspoppy wrote:

I don't think you should give her a ring when you propose, let her choose then you won't make an expensive mistake.

If your gf is very close to her Dad it might be a nice touch to ask permission as long as he likes you!

OH bought and proposed with ring. I love it - it had taken him days and days to decide. I love it all the more because he chose it - although everyone seems to think that was brave of him! He chose the colour of the stone because of the colour clothes I love and knew I didn't want yellow gold or a diamond solitaire.

He met me for lunch (sandwiches in the park), got down on one knee in the same place where he'd first told me he loved me!

If he'd have asked my dad's permission - he would have said no. So only do that bit if you are sure!!!

Imelda

newlywed wrote:

If he'd have asked my dad's permission - he would have said no. So only do that bit if you are sure!!!

Really? That's sad, I hope they have a better relationship now

lynzpower

I got down on one knee to my OH in Kings cross of all places.

We celbrated with a happy meal .

Never bothered with a ring, whats the point in spending money when you dont have to? Were in love and that shows way above a bit of metal

straddie

Congratulations!

I think the whole down on one knee thing is great, keeps it nice and traditional and adds to the romance of the occasion! Especially as when I did it the floor was wet so I got a wet patch on my knee! Gave us a bit of a talking point afterwards, and a photo! I had intended to ask her dad's permission first, again to keep it traditional and to show respect to him, but due to circumstances I didn't get time to, so I rang him straight after she accepted and asked him then instead!

One thing that was important to me was proposing somewhere that meant something to both of us, and somewhere that we can go back to in the years to come to enjoy a bit of nostaligia, yet not some place we'd go to all the time which would water down the memories and make it less special.

As some people have already said, I think its nicer to buy the ring yourself and surprise her - makes the event even more of an occasion, and if you check with the jewellers that its ok to exchange later on if need be, and tell her as much, then you're covered in case she doesn't like it. I think it definitely makes the ring mean more to her when you've chosen it yourself though. Having been with her for 2 years chances are you know her tastes well enough by now.

Having said all that, the most important thing is that this has to be entirely your decision - whilst people may make suggestions, there's no right or wrong way to this. Every couple is different, what works for one doesn't necessarily work for another, so just because somebody else may recommend something doesn't mean to say it's the best thing for you!

Finally, all the best! Let us know how it goes!

Mrs_Sparkle

How lovely! You don't need a ring- I was happy to do without but hubby insisted...

But if you do go for a ring you don't need to spend a fortune. My wedding ring is second hand and I bought it from eBay- it had only been worn for a very short marriage and I'm not superstitious :-) Not that I'm suggesting you do this with your fiancee's engagement ring but vintage/2nd hand rings ARE gorgeous and good value for money.

WhatKatyDid_2

Awww.. how sweet.... You could arrange to cook dinner when she's out one day & just before she comes home light lots of candles everywhere, sprinkle some rose petals around, fairy lights, music, etc... Create a really romantic, over-the-top all round slushy atmosphere, and make a special evening of it. Alternatively take her on a suprise picnic (even winter ones are good if you have hot soup & wrap up warm!!) - make it even more memorable. I think already having the ring is also lovely - but perhaps the jewellers can arrange to exchange it if it really isn't right..?? Good luck... (note to self, find lovely boyfriend!)

Idiophreak

I think whether or not to ask the dad all very much depends on the relationship you have with the family/father.

I've often thought whether I'd ask my gf's dad - I'd like to, but I've said about 100 words to him in the 6 and a half years we've been together, so I just think it would seem weird more than anything.

As for the ring, I think a months wages isn't bad as a guide if you can afford it - that's the sorta money I'll aim for, I think.

But again, you know better than us whether your gf needs the bling factor or not

The one-knee thing I think isn't optional though.

edit: also think you have to have a ring to propose with - if you don't know your gf well enough to pick out a ring she'd like, do you really know her well enough to marry her?

Steel_2

Proposing with a ring is lovely if you have a very good idea of what she likes. If you're in any doubt, ask without the ring and then whisk her out straight away to buy one. As some people have already said, the tradition is to spend a month's wages but I'd have been horrified if my hubbie had spent that. I think he spent about £400 in the end on a platinum solitaire.

He had the ring when he asked but didn't do the one knee thing. He said afterwards he was so nervous he was trying to keep from stuttering and forgot about doing it on one knee. I've told him on our tenth aniversary he's got to ask again and do the knee thing then ;-)

Hubbie had the ring in his pocket for a month before he asked and had to keep swapping it around in his clothes for fear I'd discover it when collecting them up for washing. He didn't ask my dad beforehand, as my dad is such a perculiar bloke he'd have said "no you can't" just for a laugh and to see how hubbie would react.