Capping benefits at 4 kids?

clearingout

so how would it work? are we capping the mother's 'right' to more children or the fathers? what happens when relationships break down....if I have my 2 children, my husband walks out, is that it for me? does he get to have more children with a childless woman but I don't get to have more children with a man who already has children? What if I have 2 children, I divorce and I want to marry a widower who has 2 children of his own? what happens with lesbian or gay couples? what happens when the PWC becomes the NRP or vice versa?

All very well when you live in middle-class suburbia and your marriage is a happy one with longevity. But what about the rest of us?!

clearingout

abortion rates could rocket.....baby abandonment.......kind of like the one-child policy in China?

Gloomendoom

clearingout wrote: »

so how would it work? are we capping the mother's 'right' to more children or the fathers? what happens when relationships break down....if I have my 2 children, my husband walks out, is that it for me? does he get to have more children with a childless woman but I don't get to have more children with a man who already has children? What if I have 2 children, I divorce and I want to marry a widower who has 2 children of his own? what happens with lesbian or gay couples? what happens when the PWC becomes the NRP or vice versa?

All very well when you live in middle-class suburbia and your marriage is a happy one with longevity. But what about the rest of us?!

Are you arguing for, or against?

clearingout

Gloomendoom wrote: »

Are you arguing for, or against?

PMSL! I'm just wondering how it would work if we said 'right, no more benefits after 2 children'. The devil is in the detail, I think!

Nara

I have 1 child. Would I like more??... yes!!!

Can I afford any more children?? ....not really

So I am facing up to the fact that I may not be able to have anymore children.

Yet my sister who is 11 years younger then me (shes 21) is on her second child now, she has never worked a day in her life and her boyfriend (who has 4 children 2 with 2 other women and 2 with my sister) cannot work because boohoo hes depressed!!

Grow up and get a job !!!!!!.

I would welcome a cap on the benefits for having kids, if you can't afford them learn to wear or use some contraception, sure mistakes happen but in my eyes only once...you learn from that mistake if needs be and sort it out.
If you cannot afford lots of children then you shouldn't be having them, its not rocket science

All the arguments about oh what if this or that happened is pointless, if you cannot afford children without relying on the state benefits, then you shouldn't be having them no matter your situation. Sorry but thats how I feel about it.

Person_one

Nara wrote: »

I have 1 child. Would I like more??... yes!!!

Can I afford any more children?? ....not really

So I am facing up to the fact that I may not be able to have anymore children.

Yet my sister who is 11 years younger then me (shes 21) is on her second child now, she has never worked a day in her life and her boyfriend (who has 4 children 2 with 2 other women and 2 with my sister) cannot work because boohoo hes depressed!!

Grow up and get a job !!!!!!.

I would welcome a cap on the benefits for having kids, if you can't afford them learn to wear or use some contraception, sure mistakes happen but in my eyes only once...you learn from that mistake if needs be and sort it out.
If you cannot afford lots of children then you shouldn't be having them, its not rocket science

If you want another child, have one. Having two children is not an immoral decision to make.

Gloomendoom

Person_one wrote: »

If you want another child, have one. Having two children is not an immoral decision to make.

Expecting someone else to pay for their upkeep may be.

Person_one

Gloomendoom wrote: »

Expecting someone else to pay for their upkeep may be.

We all, as a society, contribute to the upbringing of every single child. That's exactly as it should be. Some need a little more assistance than others but I certainly don't begrudge it.

Also, I'm going to guess from the martyr complex in that post that Nara has a job and what she actually means is that she can't afford to have a second child AND maintain her current lifestyle. Most people have to make a few changes with each addition.

Nara

Person_one wrote: »

We all, as a society, contribute to the upbringing of every single child. That's exactly as it should be. Some need a little more assistance than others but I certainly don't begrudge it.

Also, I'm going to guess from the martyr complex in that post that Nara has a job and what she actually means is that she can't afford to have a second child AND maintain her current lifestyle. Most people have to make a few changes with each addition.

Actually I had to take 3 years out of work when my daughter was born as she was ill.
When i went back to work I did 1 day a week so hardly bringing in lots of cash.
Since September I have been able to work 30 hours a week so yes I am bringing in a nice amount of money on top of my partners earnings.
While we both work and are earning this doesn't mean I could afford to support 2 children.
We have a 2 bedroomed house, so what if i had a boy? I would have to move at some point or spend money I don't have converting my house.
My bathroom has a pink suite from the 70's and my kitchen is 15 years old, I drive a 16 year old micra and my partner a golf.
We go on one holiday a year in the UK so hardly living the high life, but chugging by nicely sure.
If I had another child I would have to give up work, I don't have any parents I can relay on for childcare so would have to be a stay at home mum or pay for childcare, meaning what I earn would make it no different to not earning.

Yet if I chose to split up with my partner or we both left our jobs, we could sell up, get a 'free' house ( like my sister who has a BRAND new house) benefits thrown at us and sit around smoking and drinking our money away.

Now I'm not saying EVERYONE does this, just that if you are counting on benefit money to have more children then this is wrong!
Why should I lose out because I'm trying to do things the right way and support my family instead of sitting on my !!!! expecting it to be handed to me on a plate??

Ofc course there are exceptions to every rule which is why benefit capping is unlikely to happen.

But hey I feel better getting that off my chest!

Slinky

princessdreamer wrote: »

Unfortunatly life does not fit the ideal. When I had children I was married and WE chose yo have more children, now I am on my own with no help from ex I expect state help if I need it. After all that is what I pay tax for.

Why is it the state's responsibility more than your ex's?