Second Life ?

Tiddlywinks

Obsessive behaviour can be a sign of something requiring further attention - perhaps you could discuss this whole issue (including his relationships with peers and lack of other interests) with his teacher.

I do think that sitting with your son whilst he uses an adult site is giving him completely the wrong message - it is classified as an 18+ site for a reason and by "supervising" him you are are endorsing his use and suggesting that the "rules" of safe internet use do not entirely apply to him. If he is a "literal" personality this will definitely confuse him.

Here's a good site:

http://www.thinkuknow.co.uk/

Badger_Lady

OK - there is a point here... OP's son is not experiencing any sexual content or acting unsupervised on Second Life. He isn't being exposed to 'over 18' stuff.

However, he is getting obsessed with it, which is the nature of the game. And the more he plays it, the more he will get obsessed. And the more he gets obsessed, the greater the danger that he's going to start accessing it without supervision and start being exposed to the risky elements (perhaps not this year but at some point over the next ten!). And he'll keep spreading his word about the game to other children his age, making it attractive and encouraging them to also try to access it.

OP, it seems that the only way to stop his obsession with what is currently a harmless game, and prevent a future of playing a harmful game, is to stop him playing it altogether. He *may* get bored of it naturally but the odds are currently stacked against it. You are not a bad mother and you are not sending your child into the land of the !!!!!philes. BUT you are opening a gateway that will become incredibly difficult to close.

RichGold

I think its fair to say that people who use second life often need to work on their first life.

jamespir

mishkanorman wrote: »

Im not clueless, nor do I belong on jeremy kyle. He has an interest that Ive tried to develop with him. There is most definately nothing that ANYONE would be concerned about on the game. Believe me I dont allow swearing, fighting or anything inappropriate for his age.

My problem is not the game, its his obsessive interest that I'd like to be able to positively change without him feeling like he is being punished or limited

try a new word NO or theres free doctor who games you can download from the bbc website http://www.bbc.co.uk/doctorwho/dw/theadventuregames theres three games available featuring cyber men daleks they would be more suited for his age group


you dont need to punish him tell him you dont want him playing that game

RacyRed

pulliptears wrote: »

I'm sure there are dozens of people on there zooming around in tardis' to be fair.

I don't think there are that many, to be honest. My point was that mishkanorman has made it much easier for the boy to be identified.

Badger_Lady, your post is spot on!

peachyprice

pulliptears wrote: »

personally I've let my 2 play games aimed at much older children in the past. Both mine played Grand Theft Auto and COD etc from around 10 or 11 and neither have grown up (now 14 and 18) stealing cars, killing prostitues or running through the streets shooting guns.

Age restrictions are difficult things because children mature differently, OP knows the maturity levels of her child. Whilst I've heard stories of Second Life Its not something I've played myself so I couldn't comment but it always amuses me with 18 games and movies that a kid can not play them one day, turn 18 and suddenly the next day its all ok? What do they think happens? That a child turns 18 and is suddenly changed in a puff of smoke. Much like the Sims I guess, do they mature with a quick spin, a rendition of Happy Birthday and a fanfare?

I raised 2 pretty well rounded, mature children without needing the restrictions slapped on games and movies by the governing bodies. I play the game first, I watch the movie first, if I deem them acceptable then I have no qualms.

With all due respect, Second Life is far far more dangerous than an 18 console game or movie. It is designed to be addictive.

Badger Lady sums up the dangers very well.

giantmutantbroccoli

I'd never thought of Second Life being my sort of thing but I wouldn't mind flying around in a virtual TARDIS! Anyway, if you're worried about what/who he might encounter on Second Life, encouraging him to get interested in another game is a good idea. Seconding the person who suggested buying him a copy of The Sims. Pick a version that your computer can handle: http://www.modthesims.info/wiki.php?title=Game_Help:System_Requirements/MTS2_Recommendations There's a LOT of custom content available for Sims games, and while some of it is rated 18 (anatomically correct sims and that sort of, um, thing) it's generally clearly labelled as such, and there's plenty of stuff aimed at kids as well. There's even... da dadaDAH! Some Doctor Who themed stuff: http://dragonsiremods.dragonsire.net/ Mode The Sims has a general-audience friendly forum.

pulliptears

Badger_Lady wrote: »

OK - there is a point here... OP's son is not experiencing any sexual content or acting unsupervised on Second Life. He isn't being exposed to 'over 18' stuff.

However, he is getting obsessed with it, which is the nature of the game. And the more he plays it, the more he will get obsessed. And the more he gets obsessed, the greater the danger that he's going to start accessing it without supervision and start being exposed to the risky elements (perhaps not this year but at some point over the next ten!). And he'll keep spreading his word about the game to other children his age, making it attractive and encouraging them to also try to access it.

OP, it seems that the only way to stop his obsession with what is currently a harmless game, and prevent a future of playing a harmful game, is to stop him playing it altogether. He *may* get bored of it naturally but the odds are currently stacked against it. You are not a bad mother and you are not sending your child into the land of the !!!!!philes. BUT you are opening a gateway that will become incredibly difficult to close.

I think you hit the nail on the head there, he isn't being exposed just being obsessive, which can happen to the best of us (ask my OH about the weekend I made him watch the entire Lord of The Rings Trilogy AND extra's )

It's difficult when kids find something they want to throw themselves into constantly. Perhaps limit his time and use it as a reward if he does other things? As others have said if he likes that type of thing consider model making, warhammer painting as well maybe? My DD is currently on Airfix (an amazing turn of events in this house lll tell you!) and it's curbed her current fixation with Skyrim on the PS3 lol

mishkanorman

Plans_all_plans wrote: »

Why don't you want him to feel limited? It is good (and entirely necessary) for children to understand that they have limits. There are times when you need to put your foot down and I personally believe this is one of them.

[B]If teachers are pointing out that they feel something (potentially) damaging could be happening[/B], then compromise shouldn't enter into it. How would he react to an outright 'no'?

No, totally wrong.

We suffered a loss in the family recently and my son was blurting out what had happened at random times to anyone and everyone (like his brain had an overflow pipe) at the parents evening we discussed this with one of his teachers and explained that when stuff is important to him he will repeat what he wants you to know until he feels you understand. The headteacher wanted me to know that he was talking about the game a lot at school, we had already talked about his going on their with his teacher and told her if she felt he was talking about it too much to let us know so we could make sure he understood the time and a place for such things. The head just wanted us to know its getting too much.

pulliptears

peachyprice wrote: »

With all due respect, Second Life is far far more dangerous than an 18 console game or movie. It is designed to be addictive.

Badger Lady sums up the dangers very well.

As I said, I've heard of it and heard horror stories but its not something I've ever played (or dared to really as I can also get engrossed - I lost an entire summer to the sims once!!).