Second Life ?

heretolearn_2

All he needs to do is find the other geeky kids at school - there will be some. I agree that second life is extremely inappropriate even if supervised, and how boring must it be for you to sit there for hours supervising this amount of internet use? IMO he is on the computer far too much. There are console games he could be playing instead, and that encourages him to play with someone, all the better.

My son was def. geeky, an only child who was also more comfortable around adults and found it hard to make friends easily. But letting them retreat isn't the solution. He ended up making friends with a bunch of geeks all 2-3 years older than him when he got to around 9, and one is still his best friend 15 years later. Is there a gamers club at school? I'd also suggest Warhammer/games workshop stuff - if he's a smart 8 year old he can start doing the basics and it is a very sociable geeky thing for once. You can take him along to a Games Workshop shop for him to join in a game there to see how he gets on and attend those a few times before you start laying out on his own stuff. Also card games - Magic? - again v. much in with the geeky kids but a sociable activity.

mishkanorman

Kay_Peel wrote: »

Which one is the 8 year old and which is the adult parent?

For goodness sake use some common sense and see the obvious answer.

Block the site and find another, more appropriate, outlet for his imagination.

He'd probably love fantasy novels read to him.
He might thrive in the stimulating environment of a walk around a magical place - woods, riverbanks, beaches, anywhere in the fresh air. Walks in real places with real people will give him plenty to talk about, and distract him from his unhealthy obsession.
Let him build a rocket or get him a telescope to see the stars.
At his age, he should be playing and discovering his imagination, not sitting around on a computer.

You're the adult and only you can channel an 8 year old's natural inquisitiveness and fantasies into something positive and healthy. Wake up!

Wow, judgemental much ?

Where did I say we dont do all those things with him ?

Typical post from someone who probably has never even had any experience of the thread subject, :T:T just makes me realise that I am a good parent for searching out and trying to find the best solution FOR ALL, not just stamping my foot down and refusing to compromise !

tincat

Can I suggest that you get him involved in something like the woodcraft folk. They have groups all over the place. My friend has a son who sounds a lot like yours. They sent him there, and he now has lots of other friends and is much more outgoing. It's so lovely to see and so different to how he was a year ago.

Lots of woodie kids make friends for life. The couple who run her son's group met as 8 year olds and are now married, with a huge circle of friends.

In his age range (under 10's I think) they really bring out the best in shy, lonely kids, and there's no peer pressure to be the best, have the best etc.

Tropez

heretolearn wrote: »

All he needs to do is find the other geeky kids at school - there will be some. I agree that second life is extremely inappropriate even if supervised, and how boring must it be for you to sit there for hours supervising this amount of internet use? IMO he is on the computer far too much. There are console games he could be playing instead, and that encourages him to play with someone, all the better.

My son was def. geeky, an only child who was also more comfortable around adults and found it hard to make friends easily. But letting them retreat isn't the solution. He ended up making friends with a bunch of geeks all 2-3 years older than him when he got to around 9, and one is still his best friend 15 years later. Is there a gamers club at school? I'd also suggest Warhammer/games workshop stuff - if he's a smart 8 year old he can start doing the basics and it is a very sociable geeky thing for once. You can take him along to a Games Workshop shop for him to join in a game there to see how he gets on and attend those a few times before you start laying out on his own stuff. Also card games - Magic? - again v. much in with the geeky kids but a sociable activity.

Yes, one of the benefits of Games Workshop is that the stores themselves run various game days or events, and there's usually satellite groups for gamers of all ages. The advantage to this is not only do you allow your child to fulfill their desire for geeky fantasy gaming but you also introduce them to like minded people and potentially a host of new friends... and of course, with the painting of the miniatures the child gets a chance to practice their artistic side and speaking from experience, when you get that batallion of Chaos Warriors looking just right it is quite the feeling of accomplishment!

As heretolearn says, there's bound to be a few geeky kids at his school for him to meet... it is just finding them.

The only drawback to Games Workshop is that it is expensive so it would be something to check he was actually interested in before proceeding in buying any of it. Open days at a store would be the best way to tell whether he fancied it and the guys who run the stores are usually GW fans themselves, who will usually have at least one game ready and available for anyone who wants to try before they buy.

elvis86

Bumpmakesfour wrote: »

I have a friend who literally lives on second Life and from the bits he talks about I can absoutely tell you 1000% that my 8 year old would not be allowed anywhere near it.Surely the 18 age guide is a clue?

You would think so, wouldn't you?:cool:

stiltwalker

mishkanorman wrote: »

His social skills are amazing, he could hold - and does - a conversation with any one who will listen. He just has no interest in children of his own age, unless they like doctor who of course

I'm sorry but with the best will in the world if your DS has no interest in his peer group unless they like Dr Who then his social skills are not amazing. He may be a fantastic conversationalist and turn into a fantastic adult but he ought to be at least trying to relate to his peers at 8. I speak as the voice of experience - I was the small child with the old head who was happier sat with my mum & her friends chatting over a cup of tea than playing in the sandbox (and this at 6) however I realise as I have grown up that I really wasn't much good at childhood I am really much better at being an adult. Most of my childhood was really quite lonely and unhappy as a result and I am so pleased that my own daughter already at 2 1/2 seems to be better at relating to her peers than I was.

I would agree with other posters that something like woodcraft or cubs would help your DS to widen his interests and provide some good RL experiences.

mishkanorman

Ok, perhaps this is why some of you are reacting like my child has been playing on COD - there are settings available - the one we have set-up is described as this

A region designated General is not allowed to advertise or make available content or activity that is sexually explicit, violent, or depicts nudity. Sexually-oriented objects such as "sex beds" or poseballs may not be located or sold in General regions.
General regions are areas where you should feel free to say and do things that you would be comfortable saying and doing in front of your grandmother or a grade school class. Institutions such as universities, conference organizers, and real world businesses may wish to designate their regions as General. Likewise their users (and others) may wish to employ Second Life's General search setting to focus and filter search results appropriately.

As I've stated, we monitor him and have never seen anything that concerns for his age. He doesnt chat, that is also disabled. what concerns me is his obession with the game and the amount of time it seems to be occupying his thoughts.

mishkanorman

stiltwalker wrote: »

I'm sorry but with the best will in the world if your DS has no interest in his peer group unless they like Dr Who then his social skills are not amazing. He may be a fantastic conversationalist and turn into a fantastic adult but he ought to be at least trying to relate to his peers at 8. I speak as the voice of experience - I was the small child with the old head who was happier sat with my mum & her friends chatting over a cup of tea than playing in the sandbox (and this at 6) however I realise as I have grown up that I really wasn't much good at childhood I am really much better at being an adult. Most of my childhood was really quite lonely and unhappy as a result and I am so pleased that my own daughter already at 2 1/2 seems to be better at relating to her peers than I was.

I would agree with other posters that something like woodcraft or cubs would help your DS to widen his interests and provide some good RL experiences.

so how do I change what he is ? Isnt that the same as taming down the most popular child in class as someone might see them as too free and easy with their friendships ?

He makes friends easily, just doesnt seem to want to change himself to keep them

jamespir

dont allow him on it simples its meant for adults not 8year olds jesus some parents just shouldnt have computers
no wonder the school are concerened


do you let him watch 18 films as well

---

no then use some common sense

Kay_Peel

mishkanorman wrote: »

Wow, judgemental much ?



Typical post from someone who probably has never even had any experience of the thread subject, :T:T just makes me realise that I am a good parent for searching out and trying to find the best solution FOR ALL, not just stamping my foot down and refusing to compromise !

If you know that the site is for over 18s AND that your son has an unhealthy obsession AND his teachers are concerned about him - then why are you asking for a 'compromise'.

And you're right - I've never come across this situation but it's possibly because I am a proactive, decisive and a vigilant parent. You sound utterly clueless, to me.