A new 'tougher' thread... and so it continues

Byatt

For gardeners, these are on sale, cloches

https://www.greenfingers.com/superstore/product.asp?dept_id=34&pf_id=LS3546D

PAH, if you are reading just pop in to say you are OK after your frightening weekend.

bonnie_bumpkins

mcculloch29 I'm no doctor but I've never heard of the body 'releasing' so quickly after a large meal. Is this the sole reason for her soiling? Or perhaps she can't/won't go to the toilet if she's not in her own home? Does her body not tell her that she needs to go, so she goes unexpectedly after a while? Poor woman. Sorry I've given more questions than answers but I hope it may be of some help xx

Byatt

mcculloch29 wrote: »

This post contains info on bodily functions so you may not want to read it if you are sensitive...
A friend popped round the other day and was in some distress on arrival. She'd soiled herself - it isn't an uncommon occurrence for her.
Unfortunately she didn't make this clear until after she had sat on - and marked - my cream faux fur throw.
Bless her, she was really embarrassed. She wanted to leave for home straight away, but I gave her some underwear and trousers to change in to and encouraged her to make herself comfortable and stay for a while.
It wasn't a bug, or an allergy and here is a bit of a dilemma for me. It happens every time she over-eats. We worked this out previously, as a similar thing used to happen to me.
I asked her if she had had a huge lunch again.
She had, and her stomach had just said 'S*d this...' and dumped what was there already.
This happens quite often.
I've encouraged her to cut down on portion sizes so it doesn't happen. I've also had to cut back on the amount I eat because of weight gain.

I mentioned serving herself on a large tea-plate rather than a large dinner-plate so that it doesn't look a smaller portion (works well for me) and she said 'Oh I couldn't manage on just that!'
But she is overweight too, so it would help her...

Oh dear. If she persists in over-eating and soiling herself it really is going to make her life miserable.

I'm wondering if soiling my throw may have marked a turning point though (It's come up OK after using Dylon Travel Wash as a stain remover, good stuff that.) I don't expect anyone has any answers, but I feel this is a good non-judgemental thread to share it on.

I think certain types of food cause this too (but as a disclaimer of sorts, has she seen a doctor about it?)...I know when I've changed to an almost carb free diet, things were much better in the pipeworks, otherwise I have had that awful have to go *now* feeling. Does she say what she eats? Maybe she needs to keep a food diary and see if there's a pattern. I also agree about the smaller plates. Our stomachs/desire for food do decrease with less food.

I've just seen Bonnie's reply, and without going into too much detail yes, it does happen.

Possession

Thankyou! Happy packing.

grandma247 wrote: »

Just popped on to say that I have put two long lists of things to do with kids on this thread that someone posted. I should be packing

Uniscots97

Thanks everyone for your thoughts, I do need something to keep me sane.

McCulloch29, I had an incident like that recently (first time its happened and very embarassing, and I'm surprised she sat down!) but I put it down to eating something too fatty for my stomach to handle.

Molly41

Maybe she is on Orlistat - weight loss drug - that has these unfortunate side-effects if too much fat is consumed:

Side effects and warnings
Side effects of orlistat include:
fatty or oily stools,
needing the toilet urgently,
passing stools more frequently,
oily discharge from your rectum (the storage area at the end of the bowel that holds the stools) - you may have oily spots on your underwear,
flatulence (wind),
abdominal (stomach) pain,
headaches, and
upper respiratory tract infections – such as a cold or sore throat.

mcculloch29

Thanks for that - no she's not on Orlistat, Molly - who would go on that?! -I'm convinced of that.
It's a very long standing problem but it comes and goes.
She has mentioned it to her doctor, who after investigations and questions put it down to stress and just one of those things, mentioning a need to watch what she ate.

I've been with her before when it has happened to that extent, that time we had eaten a three course special at an Italian, I had the soup and a small pasta dish but she had quite a bulky starter, my 2 rolls plus her own, and the large main.

Half an hour later, she had to leave Primark in a big hurry. She was wearing a long skirt that time so just went home without underwear...

bonnie_bumpkins

possession I wish your DH all the very best in securing a new position. :A Re children, personally I don't think it harms them to be aware from a pretty young age how much necessary things cost and how much - or little - there is left over for treats. I showed my eldest, shortly after he went to secondary school, what money was coming into the household and what went out to cover mortgage, utilities, etc and then what was left for clothes, food, transport etc. His little eyes widened and he understood. Now I have teenagers who are overjoyed if we have the money for a chinese takeaway every 3 months or so :rotfl: and they are not ashamed to say to friends 'we can't afford that'. I'm no saint or miracle worker don't get me wrong but I think by being honest with your children and giving them an idea of costs does help to explain what you as a family can/can't afford, and why.

unixgirluk you cannot sit at home 9-5 everyday submitting job applications, the quality of your applications will suffer, which will not help you secure interviews. You do need to get away and cut off every so often so you can return refreshed. I really hope you find a suitable post very soon xx

fuddle

My timing is really rotten and so far off topic that I doubted whether I should post but...

Let's Preserve It by Beryl Wood is a lovely A-Z of jams, curds, pickles and chutneys. I've borrowed it from the library but I will be investing in it eventually.

Byatt

Fuddle, thanks for that, I want a book that is about preserves, so if you think it's good I'll try and get it too.

Stiltwalker, that must be so disappointing about your DD's therapy group; yes, get very stroppy and start making yourself heard. Writing to your MP, local paper and the powers that be...they expect us parents to sit back and take it without a fight.

Mcculloch, it sounds like an overload of carbs. She is going to have to be proactive about the condition, easier said than done I know, but it can be improved, I know that personally.