A new 'tougher' thread... and so it continues

Pooky

Hooorah for new (to you) sofas!

Sorry - had to delurk after the "contentment" comments....I read these earlier and then plonked the tv on to see what delights were I store should I bring myself to watch it tonight (there's none, but that's nothing new)...any way, there was an advert on for a fruit based mobile phone thingy....it was along the lines of "some do - some just can't be ar*ed". It struck me that it's this sort of advertising that really gets my goat, how dare they begin to insinuate that because I don't own this phone that I'm a boring old wotsit. (less of the old thank you).

Anyway that fit of pique lasted for all of about 10 seconds and I went back to my patchwork.

I'm o e of the "doesn't do clubs or pubs, love my cosy little house, my crochet and my patchwork and my well mannered, thoughtful kids and hubby". I pottered around a boot fair this morning, I've pottered around the garden this afternoon and I've pottered in the kitchen this evening.

I don't really have many friends, a couple that have been there over the years but I seem to have outgrown them....or they me? But our priorities are different. I delighted in spending some spare cash on some wool this week to make a crochet blanket to tie in with my living room....one friend phoned me to tell me she'd spent nearly 4 times as much on having her eyebrows tinted. I just don't get it?

My life is spent happily, cheaply and due to a car accident that's left DH with disabilities, it's spent all day with my wonderful man. He can't do all the things he'd like to do but his support means the world. We have a nice life but I can imagine it must seem very dull to lots of others. Funnily enough though, all of our DDs teenage friends love coming here, a bit of home cooking, teaching them how to take in their clothes, letting them help chop wood, dig up tree stumps etc (sounds like slave labour - but it's not.....really!)

ETA. My two sofas came from the BHF furniture shop, I paid £275 for a 3 seater, 2 seater and footstool and they're fab, such good quality, since found out they were M&S ones and three years on and 6 cats climbing all over them, there's not a pull or mark on them.

SDG31000

Good evening

How dare anyone say that our lives are boring when we have "The Great Armchair Saga" to entertain us and keep us on the edge of our seats.
My sofa came from MFI and I brought it with Tesco vouchers so it cost me all of £6 and my armchairs I think are at least 40 years old. They belonged to my Uncle's Father and we got them when he died. I've said that even if I win the lottery they are moving house with us as I love them so much. They need recovering, but they are still structurally sound.

As for going out on the town, I used to a few years ago, but to be honest that was because a former friend needed a nanny when she was out and about and I was there to be her fat friend and keep her out of trouble. It's a pity that she didn't do the same for me DH works very irregular hours and is on call one week in four. Add in a shortage of monster sitters when they were younger and we just never got into clubbing. I'd much rather go out for a good meal anyway.
Don't get me wrong, there are days when I wish I could shop without guilt and go and get my hair and nails done, but as I seem to spend my life in jeans and jumpers what's the point.

I'd better go and see if dinner is cooked and if I can get away with sneaking a few portions out of it. I swear that DH and DS2 have black holes where their stomachs should be.

Take care everyone xxxx

shegar

fuddle wrote: »

The grief I get from others about 'being old before my time' is just plain ridiculous. Mostly our family members really. The general opinion of us is that we're boring sat in our house every evening DH watching fishing, me sat crocheting, blankets on knees. We don't drink alcohol , well I don't, DH might if the occasion calls for it. My frugal ways were once open for discussion but that's gone since I fell off the wagon. I'm keeping schtum now I'm back on it purely for some peace! We're making ends meet. We're saving money so hopefully we can enjoy some family activities in the future. We are content. It might be boring (don't forget we have a young family too) but we're happy doing what we want to do.

My grey hairs are coming in fast and I'm only early 30's. That's open for discussion as I am choosing to just embrace my natural self. So what if I've got grey flecks. It doesn't make me unkempt. I'm a presentable lady, I'm just having to alter my colours as I go salt and pepper.

My wanting to sell my car is of great concern. I musn't I'd regret it. I can't help feel that others are bothered because it means they have to come see me. I've only had use of the car for 5 months and managed quite fine without it before hand. I think others have got used to me ferrying them round that they don't want to go back to using up their petrol etc. I'm happy in my home, with my kids, doing my chores, studying, walking my doggy, power walking and look forward to Saturday's out wandering the wilderness with DH. I don't need to be galavanting around in a car, shopping here and there.

All that doesn't make me old, nor boring, nor a hermit. It does make me a determined little miss who will succeed because I know what is important now.

That's what I'm dealing with right now. I'm fed up of it. I'm not boring. I have fight and a spark that they don't see because it doesn't interest them. Status is what interests them and because I don't subscribe to their feed I'm subjected to opinions that quite frankly get on my bluderly nerves!

I have glossing to do today and priming of a coffee table I have mangaged to pick up for zilch!

Dont worry dear girl you seem quite happy to me and probaly loads of others,im early 50 s and I adore my home and garden its my palace, im comfy ,happy home...........

I too dont like clothing shopping well come to it I dont like food shopping either but if I didnt do it we would starve......Today I planted my runner beans, and my toms I planted earlier in the week, its been quite nice weather to get outside and do some pottering, I love it, I dont need to get dressed up and go out and about to be happy................

I did pop to local car boot at 7.30 this morning, I got hubby to stay in bed for extra couple hours so I didnt have to shower and dress him, cos that takes up lot of time in mornings, and plus we dont have a carer come in on a Sunday...........I got some lovely perennials what I wanted at half the price of a garden centre, plus 3 pyrex dishes different sizes, I love my pyrex,:D got myself a pair of doc martins in real good condition, plus they been worn in nicely for me, so no blisters I hope:D...........Got back home at 10 so I done well..........Done some planting this arvo and Sunday as now near enough gone.............Weather should get a bit warmer this week, needs to as we are nearly half way through this year................Hope your all doing okay.........................

lizzyb1812

So much of what other posters have been writing today has resonated with me - from fuddle's sig to sofas from charity shops, from kidcat's aunt and uncle to our experiences with chuggers and so much more. It's taken me 13 months for me to recover after I and my boyfriend/husband for 24 years split up. Now I feel I'm finally reaching that state of contentment that was missing for so many years. Just me and Charlie the monster pup now and life is good.

fuddle

Yes, my idea of a night out is a good meal and good company. Unfortunately 'the good company' is no longer good and yeah, I think it is to do with outgrowing people, changing courses in our lives. No ones fault it just happens. It's just a shame families wouldn't keep their meddling opinions out of the mix. I am happy, very happy with my lot.

Well good news tonight. DH has won some money in his fishing match. £40

fuddle

lizzyb1812 wrote: »

So much of what other posters have been writing today has resonated with me - from fuddle's sig to sofas from charity shops, from kidcat's aunt and uncle to our experiences with chuggers and so much more. It's taken me 13 months for me to recover after I and my boyfriend/husband for 24 years split up. Now I feel I'm finally reaching that state of contentment that was missing for so many years. Just me and Charlie the monster pup now and life is good.

My sig is pretty much what I say when I get the tuts for having grey strands and not caring about my appearance enough to dye them (utter trollop, i'll show them!). Each new grey means more time on this earth living and I think that's something to celebrate really. I'm not scared of changing as I age, I want to embrace it.

You know what I sound so strong don't I? So in control, got stuff so sussed. The truth is I finally admitted I needed help this week and have begun anti depressants. I'm waiting my psychologist appointments but for now I feel so calm, my thoughts are so organised. Normally it's a mash up of frantic thoughts and ideas in my head. Apologies if I'm using the thread a lot. I think it's helping though.

maryb

I love my quiet life as well. When I took voluntary redundancy three years ago so I could retire early one of my colleagues couldn't believe I wouldn't get bored. Not a chance.

Well actually, it got quite exciting today. I had given up on the carrots I planted in March - nothing germinated. I was just about to weed the bed today so I could dig it over and plant something else when I saw something frondy. I tell you it was like an exciting archaeological find. I had to weed VERY carefully, the weeds were much more vigorous than the carrots but when I had done that, TWO rows of quarter inch high carrot seedlings emerged. Some gaps but definitely recognisable as two rows. I would never have thought they would germinate after 2 whole months.

I can't tell you how it lifted my spirits. It made me feel like we've turned a corner with the weather and we might get a summer after all.

And it's due to be warm next week Woop woop!!

stiltwalker

Another one who is a real homebody although I do have to fess up to a pub going past! Always used to like a proper regulars pub though rather than a trendy bar or nightclubs. These days the occasional meal out is more our style. Good job really with our two littlies as we are limited for who can babysit as DD occasionally wakes up screaming with achey joints so can't leave one of the lovely (and very competent) young lassies from the village who would happily babysit just in case as it wouldn't be fair. So needs to be someone that wouldn't be fazed, just in case. My lovely friend is actually doing 2 nights next month for us, one for a 'gang' night out with our bunch of friends who have been mates for years and one so OH and I can go out for dinner. Mostly we just sit and watch telly in the evening although I often have some stitching or patchwork on the go (or this place!) We've found that as our lives have changed with kids and settling down that we spend time with different friends. We're lucky enough to live in a lovely village that has a real community and we've met some really nice people who we have more in common with lifestyle wise although we still love our friends from years ago we seem to see less of them.

I actually got out into the garden today!!!! First time I've had chance this year as it's been mental but I'm all tidied up and dug over now. Going to have to be plug plants from the garden centre for most stuff though as I'm so late getting organised. Not going to beat myself up about it though as with the year we've had so far and 2 OU courses I'm pretty impressed with myself for doing anything!

Byatt

fuddle wrote: »

Yes, my idea of a night out is a good meal and good company. Unfortunately 'the good company' is no longer good and yeah, I think it is to do with outgrowing people, changing courses in our lives. No ones fault it just happens. It's just a shame families wouldn't keep their meddling opinions out of the mix. I am happy, very happy with my lot.

Well good news tonight. DH has won some money in his fishing match. £40

Well done on the win. :T

And well done on seeing your GP. Being proactive always helps.

You be who you are Fuddle. And ignore those that try and make you change. :A

GQ, congrats on your fab buy. I was going to suggest too, that it be carried if only 5 mins away.

lizzyb1812

fuddle wrote: »

My sig is pretty much what I say when I get the tuts for having grey strands and not caring about my appearance enough to dye them (utter trollop, i'll show them!). Each new grey means more time on this earth living and I think that's something to celebrate really. I'm not scared of changing as I age, I want to embrace it.

You know what I sound so strong don't I? So in control, got stuff so sussed. The truth is I finally admitted I needed help this week and have begun anti depressants. I'm waiting my psychologist appointments but for now I feel so calm, my thoughts are so organised. Normally it's a mash up of frantic thoughts and ideas in my head. Apologies if I'm using the thread a lot. I think it's helping though.

I used to have a VERY short haircut, dyed regularly - now I'm letting it grow out and am at the still short but very fuzzy stage. Would never have let it be like this before but now I don't care if it's not office-style smooth. Not dyed either. And I've been on anti-d's for quite a while too. Cutting down but when I tried to come off them the withdrawal was terrible. I don't regret taking them - they really helped - are still helping - so I'm cutting them down very gradually. The help they have given me are worth the effort of getting off them IYSWIM. Good luck Fuddle.

ETA back in the day the "utter trollop" was the person who did dye their hair - how times have changed