A new 'tougher' thread... and so it continues

meme30

As a nurse I was trained in the 'Do as you would be done by' way to work. I have always found it a great belief to live by. Many people today live by the 'I'm alright Jack' belief.

No one's job is 100% safe, nor is their health or their family's well being. People are afraid, and this is bringing out the worst in them. It's very easy to put the 'boot in' when others are kicking the needy/sick. Gruesomely, it makes people feel better about their own situation.

This terrible situation is exacerbated by the attitude of the politicians and the newspapers in this country. They are very happy to hold up example families for public ridicule without offering any practical help. It does not feel that there is a loud voice anywhere in this country shouting out for the ordinary, struggling 'getting on as best they can' people.

Yes, I do think people are looking the other way, and yes, Mardy that's how it began in Germany in the 1930's

kidcat

maryb wrote: »

maybe not camps for the unemployed but you hear a lot of people saying "teenage mums should be housed in hostels so that they have support and childcare on hand rather than getting their own flats straight away and popping out another one whenever they need to top up their benefits" yada yada. It's much more easy to sell something that sounds relatively humane

Exactly, sell it that its for their own good, then sell it as for the good of society and before you know it we have stepped back 70 years.

Am gutted, DS13 results are back and although they say he is definitely autistic they wont give a formal diagnosis without more tests and examinations. These could end up taking a year, effectively it means his education is written off as without the diagnosis school will do nothing. By the time a year passes it will be too late as he finishes school the next year.
The ed psych has refused to even consider the possibilty so the rest cannot override her without more evidence, apparently his hospital consultant and the psychiatrist he saw after Christmas all agree but their reports dont count.

GreyQueen

:(:( OMG kidkat those !$%@!!!!!! idiotic people. Don't they know that every week counts when a youngster isn't getting the education he needs? I could cheerfully throttle some of the people you have to deal with to try and get the help your DSs need. Can't do anything to help other than send you a dodgy group hug; :grouphug: And good on ya for setting that woman back on her heels, too; I would've paid money to see that one.

All is fine at Shoebox Towers; apart from the chilly rain, obviously. No sign of any blowing over happening today as the weather seems to be set to p-ing it down. What a holiday.:(

Still, it's all very small potatoes in the grand scheme of things. I have washed my kitchen floor and done laundry and left Henri D'Vac out in the hopes that he may finish the vacuuming but no such luck yet. I am now officially Bored with Housew*rk.

Does 2.5 chores plus cooking and washing-up constitute Proper Housework in a childfree household or should I do some more? I could dust my wall unit, I guess.........or I could put the kettle on. Again.:rotfl:

Proper hydration is SO important, dontcha think?

mardatha

Kidcat this is just one of those spells for you isnt it pet? Times when nothing at all goes right. But remember that the wheel turns constantly, nothing stays the same forever. Although you seem to be at the low point of the wheel now, the only way from here is up - so get ready to climb! xxx
GQ - you might faint from dehydration! Dusting is a dangerous business... best be prepared hen - have another pot of tea and psyche yourself up

Byatt

Kidcat, I know things change in education, but I had the exact same thing happen with an ed psych. Despite the school and some others saying dd was asd, he wouldn't accept it. Got to the point in one meeting, on the rare occasion that my husband was there, that ed psych refused to look at me and directed ALL questions at my husband (who of course hadn't a clue). What I did after that was write a report myself detailing asd and how it applied to my DD (many thought I was teacher)...and sent it to people who were experts in the education system. Don't accept what he said. Start writing, finding out who else in the departement deals with these things. It all comes down to money. A formal diagnosis costs and ed psych is obviously aware that time is against son. What plans do you have for son when he reaches 16? Does he have a statement, I can't remember?

My opinion, generally speaking, and in my experience is they are on the "systems" side, not our children.

Everything in writing. Everything.

kidcat

Thanks Mardatha, GQ and Byatt.

Byatt - the ed psych we have fought since he started high school, at one point she said all his problems were my parenting, as I wouldnt let him do the stuff his peers did, ie watch 18 rated movies, play 18 rated games. He was 11 at the time and a very young 11 too. He had a mentor at that point who was great and saw what I could see and she took him over the ed psych to get him seen . However a large part if the diagnostic tool is the ed psych report. The guys at camhs have been great and are insisting that they plan on doing whatever it takes but time is against us definitely.
I plan on getting on my feet and next week sitting on the phone calling everyone I can think of to get some answers and any help. Thankfully I am now better positioned to fight as I have started working in the support group and we are learning together.
Its also been suggested that I should discuss with OH that I feel he too is ASd and look at getting him diagnosed, I have never wanted to broach it with him for fear of upsetting him, however telling him and getting him diagnosed may be beneficial in him understanding how difficult he is to cope with at home for me. This needs serious thinking about.

Byatt

Kidcat, maybe they train ed psychs the same, as mine said the exact same thing. Also was told I was worrying too much and that transferred to my DD, ahem, I wasn't too worried until the school told me how she was in class and they suggested calling the ed psych...this was at primary school. And yes, the ed psych is an important tool in the diagnosis stage. I was told by ours I was taking away from other children by insisting that my DD got help. :mad: I did reply to that, but am amazed I was so polite. I wouldn't be now. :eek:

I appreciate how hard it must be to broach your OH but of course as you know, a diagnosis is the only way to get support. I met some amazing people on the way, who were on our side, and they made a huge difference, especially when others were concentrating on the Asperger's diagnosis which meant no help as DD moved into adult services. edit, I'm sorry, I misread, you mean your OH could be autistic? Yes, that is difficult. Goodness, I'm sure you know the best way to approach him, have you talked to him before and if so what was his response. What a hard subject to discuss especially as he may feel blamed for his children's diagnosis. Hugs.

All the best, but don't forget to rest!

westcoastscot

oh Kidcat i'm so sorry this is happening in your life, particularly now. Nothing really to add except i've been there and know how frustrating it can be.

Caroline-Encore

Kidcat both my DD14 and DD11 have ASD. DH also has ASD and depression. It's hard work being the only non-ASD adult in the house. We've also had to fight at various points. The only thing I would say is 'you catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar'. It's like walking on a tightrope a lot of the time.:grouphug:

smileyt_2

Oh Kidcat, I'm sorry you're having such a tough time at the moment. I hope things look up soon.

The same goes for everyone else on here who's having a tough time.

At the moment I'm relaxing without a young person in the house - he is staying with a mate (I'm under no illusions, they're both in their late teens/early twenties so they'll be getting drunk on cheap lager) but it means that the kitchen is clean and is staying clean! There are no minging plates in the sink! Oh blimey, my life must be sad if an empty kitchen sink gladdens my heart! :rotfl: