A new 'tougher' thread... and so it continues

katep23

Byatt wrote: »

I think you should give the WI a try, you may well be the youngest but so what?! If you enjoy it, you will bring a new perspective. If you don't enjoy it, then don't go again (although try a few times maybe). I was the oldest when I went to uni a couple of years back to get a degree; even older than the lecturer's, bar one and he was 80, but good fun!). So, age is just a number. :A

Thanks for the encouragement Byatt and that made me laugh about the lecturers. Trouble is I am dreadful for trying something once, getting it in my head I won't like it and not giving it a chance and then not doing it again so I think I will take your advice and try it a few times

My OH is lovely but he does tend to take the mickey a bit, like when I signed up for a half-day knitting lesson he said the same thing about the age but it turned out we were all of a similar age. It was good fun actually but I only learned how to cast on, knit stitch and cast off... and I've forgotten the last one!

@ Bupster, I really like that, might have to steal it!

gardenia101

Taurus - glad you are back & feeling a bit better. I hope you get your results through soon about which type of NHL you have. Thinking of you.

Witchwoopiggy - some **** are just vile. Moan away - I'd be ranting!

katep23 wrote: »

Crikey this thread moves fast, will have to try to keep up!

Realised I hadn't replied to your post so thank you - it's hard breaking old habits/patterns but hopefully worth it in the end!

Trouble is I come across as quite confident so no-one realises I'm actually really shy and worry about how I come across to other people. Still it's all about practise and getting out and meeting people in order to make new friends.

I wondered what people's thoughts were on the WI as I was thinking of going along. My OH reckons that at 34 I'll be the youngest there (which would be a novelty!) but I think it would be good to meet some like-minded people and hopefully I could learn a lot too.

I did look into our local WI some time ago, but I was also a bit worried that I'd be one of the youngest (& I'm 42 ). I don't know anyone who goes, & the few friends I've mentioned it too have laughed, but I think it might be good fun. One of the best reading groups I went to had several older ladies in it & we had such a laugh every month, they had all lead such fascinating lives.

I didn't persue it though as the local branches all have evening meetings & I haven't been out in the dark since my eyesight worsened as I'm rubbish in the dark. But I may give it a go in the summer as I really must get out more.

I know a few of you have said that your resolutions include going out more &/or being more sociable, which got me thinking about my unsocial life. Before I had to give up work I was working long days so was usually too knackered to go out more than 1-2/month, plus trying to find a babysitter & then paying for them + the cost of a night out with cabs made it a bit :eek:. Now I'm not too knackered, but I still have the problem of needing a babysitter for at least a few more years, & of course, I'm not earning anything :rotfl: it isn't any better!

I've looked back over my calendar & I didn't have a single night out last year, or go out with anyone that wasn't my children (& much as I love them I do like other company) except for 4 coffee mornings. That is in a whole year - boy, do I need to get a life! I have had a friend round for wine every month, but I didn't realise how cut off I've become until today.

I do go out on my own during the day sometimes, but apart from food shopping & the odd film or a walk that is it. I don't mind my own company (which is lucky :rotfl:) but I would like to make a few more friends this year. Oh dear, another resolution.... Had a lovely long walk today, then a long hot bath - bliss.

GQ - sounds like never a dull moment in your neck of the woods!

katep23

There are two meetings close to me - luckily whilst the one in the village I officially live in is a day time one, the other one is the same distance away and is evening so I shall go to that one.

OH and I moved here almost 4 years ago but I still work 20 miles away (where we moved from) and don't go out much so haven't really made any friends over here. It hit home recently how isolated I've become so it's time to stop moaning and get off my backside to do something about it.

There was a post on here (might have been this thread? Sorry, can't remember who by) about not striving to be happy but instead deciding to welcome contentment and that really resonated with me so I think that's my new year's resolution. Oh and declutter the house, lose weight, be more organised, get a new job... :rotfl: Seriously though, I need to live in the now instead of always planning/imagining how the future is going to be.

mumto2monkeys_2

Byatt wrote: »

I'm so sorry that happened. I guess the plus side is it wasn't stolen, but the inconvenience, the shock and the cost of course is just so unfair. I don't understand what someone gets out of doing mindless acts of violence. :A

And please don't apologise for having a moan, other wise I will feel guilty too. as she goes on to moan...

My DD as some may know is with her dad for the long holidays. Back along he was talking her into having laser surgery on her eyes. After lots of advice from me and downloading stuff for her to look at , pointing out it could be painful, etc (which she threw away), she has just now sent me a text saying she is going to have it done. I assume over the next week or so which means he will keep her with him for longer, part of his plan to take her from me. (he took everything else)

I can't tell her I'm happy about the surgery; because I'm not. She has health issues beside the ASD. I'm genuinely concerned and not being an over protective mum (well, maybe I am?!)...and I know I need to let go more, but she has needed me for so long, letting go is hard. I keep thinking if I let go, disaster will happen (because in reality it does), and I'm balancing numerous plates to make sure she is well and happy. At great cost to myself I know, but she is my life.

Well I'm going to watch Sherlock and put things out of my mind for a while. edit to add: it is just sooooooo good and love the music!

Is it just me that thinks Sherlock was an Aspie? (Asperger's)

Sherlock is absolutely, 100% an Aspie.

My daughter is too. I can totally understand your concern with the medical procedure. Daughter has cancer, diagnosed last january, and she's had too go through so many medical things which is so much tougher because of ASD. Things like expressing how she's feeling, and regressing to a toddler when something hurts (she's 13). It's been tough . I also know how stubborn they can be when they want something.

Does your ex have parental responsibility for her? How old is she? I was just thinking that if she's a minor you can stop it from going ahead.

VJsmum

gardenia101 wrote: »

I do go out on my own during the day sometimes, but apart from food shopping & the odd film or a walk that is it. I don't mind my own company (which is lucky :rotfl:) but I would like to make a few more friends this year. Oh dear, another resolution.... Had a lovely long walk today, then a long hot bath - bliss.

Hello, it is really hard to meet people even if you are not shy. One of the ways that i have got to know more people was to get reasonably active in the PTA at the kid's primary school. I didn't go to every meeting and didn't do as much as others but you just do what you can. We held meetings in the pub and it was quite a sociable event. Now the kids have left that school those mums and i still meet about once a month in the pub and have a bar meal and a natter. Our local does a £5.25 curry and glass of wine deal so it doesn't cost a fortune either.

Also a friend and I try to have lunch in M&S once a week which is also about a fiver. What about classes at a local leisure centre? I do yoga and am looking at Zumba. I realise that all these do cost money, even if only a little. Hobby craft often have classes of this and that which you can go along to. The WI sounds like a great idea.

Is walking your thing? There may be a local walking group, or running group if the walkers are too old. Amateur Dramatics? Singing? My OH has just joined a choir, which costs pennies when spread out over the year.

When my first child was born, I was crawling the walls with loneliness and PND. One day I took her to a weigh in at the surgery just to get out of the house more than anything. There was a lady from our ante natal classes there and in the car park on the way home I took a deep breath, wrote down my number and gave it to her, saying "if you need a coffee and a natter then give me a call"

Well she just about fell on me in relief and said "How about NOW" THat was over 15 years ago and we have been friends ever since! But the inner battle I had in that car park "Talk to her, give her your number" "I can't" "DO IT" "I can't" :rotfl: Well I'm glad I listened to myself!

GOod luck xx

Byatt

mumto2monkeys wrote: »

Sherlock is absolutely, 100% an Aspie.

My daughter is too. I can totally understand your concern with the medical procedure. Daughter has cancer, diagnosed last january, and she's had too go through so many medical things which is so much tougher because of ASD. Things like expressing how she's feeling, and regressing to a toddler when something hurts (she's 13). It's been tough . I also know how stubborn they can be when they want something.

Does your ex have parental responsibility for her? How old is she? I was just thinking that if she's a minor you can stop it from going ahead.

Mumto2monkeys, you've put it in a nutshell. She's 25 (emotional age varies)...he has never really taken parental responsibility. He has no idea what she is like when in pain and frightened...he should know, but doesn't care. My dd's had ops and I have not dared moved from the hospital because I know as soon as she comes around she will be hysterical and calling for me. The nurses told me I should go and rest last time, but I wouldn't, even though I hadn't eaten all day. Anyway, as I expected, a nurse came looking for me and took me to recovery. Once she saw me she calmed down.

I am really sorry about your dd's cancer. Do you have a date when treatment will finish? I can only imagine how tough that is for you all. Bless your heart for replying and understanding . :A I know laser eye surgery is a minor blip in comaparison.

gailey_2

Hi guys

Happy new year everyone apologies on not posting today as been out most of day with family.

Hubby fell asleep at 10pm last night so just me and baby boy saw in new year.

The london fireworks looked amazing never seen them that big, freind joked cost must match greek defecit but guess we showing off due to Olympics.

saw on yahoo news vat rising and paniced yesterday then was told it was the irish:rotfl:

Been pondering new years resolutions today as sometimes making same ones can be bit repetative and disheartnening so think Im going to do things slightly different this year by

* keep things simple.

* Do things than minimise stress and time if need be.

* try stay positive no matter what 2012 throws at me despite jan being MOT time:eek:.
*remember even the little things count and add up.

*Stop being so hard on myself and dare say perfectionist about things

*Dont let others influence me or put me down so if mam wants to be critical rise above it, if freind cant make time for me then move on.

*See more of family-say that every year but felt bad when nan with dementia had trouble remembering us tonight think she knew me but not my kids. Asked why i dressed my girl as a boy but he is a boy.

*Make some me time hard as parent but I need it.
have so many hobbies would love to get into
debating on joining wi.

*be healthy diet and exercise in moderation.Love to me more active as family and all on bikes this summer might start bike shoping now on ebay:D

*start savings pots

*be more organised -will eliminate my stress.

*Introduce household rota, systems and storage to ensure house is nice and managing not overwehelming mess.

Had lovley day visiting family in wales seen grandparents, parents both sets, aunts, cousins and freinds was lovley.Kids did me proud. Think I ate too much.

Few things I did to start new year differently

Old me would have stayed up until early hours making chutney, river cottage bread and gingerbread men.

But last night was tired dident have energy so thourght will do something tommorow morning.

But baby boy kept me all up last night teething and was so tired had lie in.

decided lets be simple lets do nan and aunt choc xmas fairy cakes.

but time ran short thourght dont want tio be late so skipped icing them.
so unlike me.

Youngest daughter-allowed her to pick outfit rather than putting together perfect outfit she looked nice and was easier decided to pick my battles which eliminates stress.

did quick sort out of laundry but dident stress getting house tidy today thourght tommorows another day whats important right now is family.
So depsite girls room looking really messy I have all day tommorow dont have to be anywhere.

I will reclaim my house feeling positive.
We will get by financially
feeling glad about the good things right now and trying not to dwell on the negatives.

I really want 2012 to be good .

sammy_kaye18

Mrs_Chip wrote: »

And for the welsh contingent - Blwyddyn Newydd Dda !!!

Shw mae! Mae'n flin gen i am eich colled. x (I think I've spelt that right! ~ bare with me Im ill! )

sammy_kaye18

hornetgirl wrote: »

Good to see you back Sammy_Kaye. I loved that Extreme Couponing programme too, but hadn't thought it possible to do in the UK. They all seemed to have booklets full of coupons but I've never seen anything like that here? Just the odd one in magazines and papers now and again.

Ive PM'd you

meanmarie

Happy New Year all.

Taurus....good to see you posting....speedy recovery wishes to you.

Gailey....you cheer me up so much, always racing and managing to do so much...

We have had a 2% Vat increase from to-day, car tax increase, petrol and heating oil going up and €100 annual house tax to name but a few of the wonderful things facing us in 2012. Refuse to worry about any of it, we are probably in rather a happy position as both retired and pensions not reducing so with a small amount of belt tightening we should be ok.

Gardenia....give the WI a go...I joined the sister organisation here (ICA) when I was about 21 as my mother wanted to go and persuaded me to go with her....I made so many new friends, and even learnt a few crafty things along the way....don't go now as the meetings run on too late for me, but miss it.

Marie