A new 'tougher' thread... and so it continues

fuddle

SDG31000 wrote: »

Evening ladies

Do you mind if I get another prespective on my day and the presents my DSister has sent me? I know I shouldn't complain about getting presents, but on the other hand I just want to know if I'm wrong to be upset. I'm not sure if that makes sense, but it is the best I can do for now.
First of all we didn't get to see my side of the family over the holidays. So someone I would class as a former friend said she would do the gift exchange (I used to consider this person my best friend, but she moved over three years ago and all efforts I have made to keep in touch have been ignored and she has sent me one email in that time and that's it. She has never visited me despite coming back to her old home town every two weeks and I know she normally sees lots of her old friends while over here).
So I was on tenderhooks to start with. Old friend stayed a total of three minutes and acted like we saw each other all the time. So she went off loaded with presents for my family.
I went in the house and gave DS1 and DS2 their gifts and then opened mine.
I got...A Special Auntie Christmas tree decoration
A cupcake money box to go with the one she gave me last year and that I have no use for
and an earthenware mug with reads "I go from 0 to b*tch in 1.6 seconds"
DH got two mugs, one of which has "I am a TW*T" on the bottom and a lynx gift set.
I hate the b-word with a passion and it really upset me. Even if DSister had forgotten that I can't see how she thought it was an appropriate gift. The less said about DH the better as far as I'm concerned.
I'm just upset that I made an effort with their presents and no thought what so ever seems to have gone into mine. I'm tired of feeling on the sidelines of my family just because I dared to move 55 miles away.
Sorry for ranting, ignore if you want to xxxx

Aw SDG No, those 'gifts' were not appropriate at all. My sister uses the B word alot, she'll think nothing of calling me a cheeky b*tch if I get sarcastic. I cannot stand it and it makes my skin crawl. I find it offensive but to her it is just another word.

Even so, to think that for my Christmas gift I received a mug to state I was an expletive, well I wouldn't be happy like yourself. A gift is meant to be something that you like to give someone to make them feel special isn't it? To send a gift that is insulting isn't in the spirit of gift giving imo.

Hopefully you're not dwelling on it. I think it was an error on her part but I would hope there wasn't any mallice in it. Chin up hun. Thank your lucky stars you're a much kinder soul.

Byatt

SDG31000 wrote: »

Evening ladies

Do you mind if I get another prespective on my day and the presents my DSister has sent me? I know I shouldn't complain about getting presents, but on the other hand I just want to know if I'm wrong to be upset. I'm not sure if that makes sense, but it is the best I can do for now.
First of all we didn't get to see my side of the family over the holidays. So someone I would class as a former friend said she would do the gift exchange (I used to consider this person my best friend, but she moved over three years ago and all efforts I have made to keep in touch have been ignored and she has sent me one email in that time and that's it. She has never visited me despite coming back to her old home town every two weeks and I know she normally sees lots of her old friends while over here).
So I was on tenderhooks to start with. Old friend stayed a total of three minutes and acted like we saw each other all the time. So she went off loaded with presents for my family.
I went in the house and gave DS1 and DS2 their gifts and then opened mine.
I got...A Special Auntie Christmas tree decoration
A cupcake money box to go with the one she gave me last year and that I have no use for
and an earthenware mug with reads "I go from 0 to b*tch in 1.6 seconds"
DH got two mugs, one of which has "I am a TW*T" on the bottom and a lynx gift set.
I hate the b-word with a passion and it really upset me. Even if DSister had forgotten that I can't see how she thought it was an appropriate gift. The less said about DH the better as far as I'm concerned.
I'm just upset that I made an effort with their presents and no thought what so ever seems to have gone into mine. I'm tired of feeling on the sidelines of my family just because I dared to move 55 miles away.
Sorry for ranting, ignore if you want to xxxx

Does your sister have that kind of sense of humour generally? Or is it a one off lapse of judgement? Which ever it is I would scale down the gifts you give in future and either throw the mugs at a wall outside (wrapped in a bag if you don't want the bits to go everywhere!) or donate to jumble sale.

It's hard to feel on the sidelines, especially at times like Christmas and it's not the cost of a gift but the level of thought that has gone into it that can make you feel less valued in the family. I got a plastic crab one year from my mother and a used re-gifted stationery set from my sister. Is this the first time you've had presents like this from your sister. Were your children's giffts more thoughtful?

As for your former friend, I know that must hurt. Have you spoken to her about it? Sometime, people are just able to switch off being friends without any thought at all, but act like best buddies when you do meet. Hugs.

gardenia101

ragz wrote: »

If anyone is interested in losing weight in 2012 I am running a New Year Challenge on the Old Style Weight Loss thread. I have gone from a size 16/18 to a 12/14 this year and aiming for another 10lbs loss in 2012 and to get back into the jeans I bought 6 weeks AFTER having first baby!

I shall sign up Ragz - just the kick up the ar*e I needed. I've just has a great friend round & realised after she'd left that I'd said I'd lose weight in 2011 - & I must have put on at least an extra half stone at least :eek:. Your comment about putting on weight during the menopause also hit home - I'm not there yet but it won't be long :rotfl:

What other challenges are you all signing up for?

I'm going to try the GC & Fuddle, thank you for the menu plan. Like a few of you I think I may save more money (& time hopefully) if I do a monthly plan. I've done a weekly plan every now & then, but somehow I just fall off the wagon...

I'm just watching Housewife, 49 (again) as I'm pootering. I love Nella Last's books & think this TV adaptaion is excellent, even though Victoria Wood is nothing like Nella physically, she is just as I imagined her to act/behave. Well worth seeing if any of you haven't seen it yet. I went to Barrow in the summer as I happened to be in Cumbria & wanted to see it after loving the books so much. I wonder how much it has changed since she was there? There was a caravan park/holiday camp near to the bird sanctuary, but it still felt quite a desolate place.

Hope everyone is looking forwards to NYE & has a great night. I shall be home, alone with a bottle of fizz (& an early night if I manage a bottle ).

EstherH

Thank you Frugal. I have just tipped the bottle over my fingers and rubbed that in. Seems to be okay.
I will give it a few days and see what happens though I am itching to put some moisturiser on.

SDG: I think that is a horrible present and I would be very upset too.

Esther x

kidcat

SDG - I would be upset too, and agree that maybe set kids only rules in future, alternatively if the kids gifts werent up to much either you could do what I did a few years ago with a group of friends who wee all spending way more than I could - we agreed to have a day/trip somewhere together, take a picnic lunch and just enjoy the time, spending on the day out instead of gifts, worked a treat. Kids didnt get gifts that sat in a cupboard and we got to spend time together - time is the best gift anyone can give!

redlady - thanks for the tips, I am happy to have a go at this stuff but really will need to buy the proper equipment to get going, am thinking of buying a corded drill - as our walls are really difficult to drill and I am thinking a cordless maybe not be up to it. As I am only going to be working in the house corded doesnt bother me. If I get good maybe I can treat myself to better stuff later on.

Mr A had a B&D corded one earlier I am considering but would like a look round at others first. GOIng to invest in good toolbox I can lock too, cant take any chances with DS about!! he makes enough holes in the walls without a drill - can you all imagine what he could achieve with a drill!!:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: World domination methinks :eek:

Ragz- am definitely interested in your weight loss thingy - will it be idiot proof? never having done anything similar I am guessing I need the dummies version.

gailey_2

I have a freind just like that hun

barly seen her in 2months

she says she ring but doesnt
rarly rings unless wants a favour
I did think initially oh shes gone back to work shes busy
yet I see her frequently on fb page out with other mates or in contact with them.

In last 3weeeks not had

xmas hard
one text
or fb message.

she was invioted round before xmas but never came

To be honest bit hacked off by it all.
At start of december after not seeing me for whole month was all superfreindly and hurt that I had arranged my mam to babysit my kids as was hubbys xmas do but shes let me down 4times in last 6months leaving hubby dissapointed.

Not sure what im going to do maybe keep greater distance as felt bit used.

As for family often feel sidelines always mum, my younger sis , her new hubby and his kids. we live 60miles away thankgoodness.
my mum chose to miss the kids over xmas watching their pressies.

sdg31000


Maybe present was rushed and not thourght of.
maybe just do kids next year.
My advice dont dwell sometimes sadly we outhrow freinds have 1mate back home rarly see and another although dont see each other often its like we never been away and have so much fun.

Focus on your present life freinds and family
I look back on my emigarating and settling into english life with pride as its a big acheivement to start over.

Well bathed the rugrats and hubby
all 3kids asleep
not very mse or diet freindly but had fish and chips tonight.
attempted to sort laundry pile

hubby popped in co-op for fags and came out with 4packs reduced cocktail sausages 25p each what would you do with them?
Hes thinking casserole but they tiny?

was thinking chopped up in pasta maybe?
Think they already precooked.

might go back tommorow see if any bargains then.
combined with this mornings spar bargains been good day.

taken reduced fiish and mince out of freezer.
think will make sheprads pie tommorow and freeze
attempt fishcakes and freeze
use the chicken reduced today to make curry.

all the mini quiches gone sadly
but got leftover pastry so might attempt as pasty.
tommorow have to bake bread, chutney and gingerbread for presents new years day as get to catch up with family then cant wait.

feeling positive over new year.

been researching plastic sheds blimey they pricey!
will speak to landlord next week for permission
then get quoute off sparky
if not too much will get saving as would massivly improve our lives.
also wishful thinking I know but landlord might spend some of his money for change updating my 30year old kitchen which is falling apart.
can seee us being here for next 3years at least.
we good tenanants been without fire for 2weeks.
Im taking charge of garden this year too.
have grand plans.

will be haggling at carboot for plants as usual as hubby cant haggle to save his life!

Hope everyones ok and keeping warm as cold and wet here.

LavenderBees

Byatt wrote: »

Does your sister have that kind of sense of humour generally? Or is it a one off lapse of judgement? Which ever it is I would scale down the gifts you give in future and either throw the mugs at a wall outside (wrapped in a bag if you don't want the bits to go everywhere!) or donate to jumble sale.

Or give her them all back next year......:rotfl:

katieowl_2

I'd not be happy to recieve a B**** word mug either, but personally would be more offended if someone gave the T*** mug to my OH :eek: I might call him all sorts myself, but that's my right!

You REALLY, REALLY would have to assume that it would be *OK* to give as a gift IMHO. So it really boils down to your sister's sense of humour I guess SGD?

I've been given some dodgy things over the years, some have met with handy accidents, and others like the ghastly pink plastic crumb removing brush gadget, have proven to be incredibly useful for other than their intended purpose (in this case getting dog footprints off the duvet!)

Fortunately the only pressies I got this year that weren't edible, were all either useful or I'd chosen myself Mind you Christmas is one of the occassions when I'm incredibly grateful to have very little family other than my kids!

I just went with DD into town to pick her BF up from work - he finishes in a supermarket at 9pm. Took advantage of the time for a quick trawl around for whoopsies...got some Toffee apple muller rice for 17p nom nom, and LOTS of CREAM....40p for 600ml...guess who's making butter tomorrow? They also had a load of decent tea (Cafe Direct and Clipper - the two we like) reduced to less than Mr T's equivant, so bought all four boxes...long dates.

It's the OH's birthday tomorrow, we've bought him a new coat for work. All the kids and their BF's are coming to dinner, I'm cooking Lamb (donated from my friend - she still has loads to get rid of from when they had sheep) This is the third roast dinner I've cooked in a week LOL!


Kate

katieowl_2

gailey wrote: »

hubby popped in co-op for fags and came out with 4packs reduced cocktail sausages 25p each what would you do with them?
Hes thinking casserole but they tiny?

was thinking chopped up in pasta maybe?
Think they already precooked.

You could make a toadlette in the hole with them!!! Just heat the oil up and drop the sausages in just before adding the batter.

Kate

paidinchickens

OMG I feel really guilty as we gave a "joke" gift of the kama sutra to a couple who are friends of ours. The wife has had her mother live with them for the past five years and she has just moved out. Before she moved out they would have to make most of there time in the shower "special" as with two kids and the mother they could find very little alone time. They often laugh how they have forgotten what a bed was for so hopefully they will find the funny side .

Sorry if this has not come across properly but DH and I have been "testing" the home brew to see if it's ready yet.

PIC x