Is her ex supposed to pay maintence

Bootsalebargains

Thanks again for the advice, I'll pass it on when I next see her.
His main job is something to do with building computer software for a company, she said when they were together he was on about £70,000 a year.
The properties he owns is a sideline, she sold her property about 13 years ago and the money went into a joint account which she can prove, she was working full time until at least 2003 (that's when I left the company we both worked for so lost contact for 3 years) and all her wages went into that joint account.

Also meant to say the house isn't anything posh, it's a 2 bedroom terrace house. He lives in 5 bedroom place but has never had the kids to stay with him for even 1 night. When she went into labour she phone him to take the eldest and he said tough, I had to go and get her.

Oldernotwiser

agrinnall wrote: »

Which is exactly what I said in post #9.

Not exactly, although we're obviously thinking along the same lines.

DUTR

Bootsalebargains wrote: »

Thanks again for the advice, I'll pass it on when I next see her.
His main job is something to do with building computer software for a company, she said when they were together he was on about £70,000 a year.
The properties he owns is a sideline, she sold her property about 13 years ago and the money went into a joint account which she can prove, she was working full time until at least 2003 (that's when I left the company we both worked for so lost contact for 3 years) and all her wages went into that joint account.

Also meant to say the house isn't anything posh, it's a 2 bedroom terrace house. He lives in 5 bedroom place but has never had the kids to stay with him for even 1 night. When she went into labour she phone him to take the eldest and he said tough, I had to go and get her.

I wish you would stopping grasping at straws, it does not matter what anybody on the forum says regarding what she did or did not do, her best bet is to explore her legal standing from a professional with experience in this field, as you can tell from the responses, people are often suggesting what they feel maybe best.
From what I can gather either your friend or you, may not be forthcoming with the whole episode and sequence of events, who is to say that this 'couple' already had an arrangement, if the ex has several properties, then it seems that the proceeds from her house sale would have made little difference to his portfolio. At least one thing we learn here is that dating a guy or having his babies with a high earner is going to bring anymore happiness than a guy on minimal wages
Just to add, many years ago I went out with a girl from another city who gave up her flat to move to my city with me, naturally it did not work out, and off she went there was no way she could claim a prtion of my house.

FBaby

It sounds like your friend has made a lot of bad choices in her life and is now paying for it. If she sold her house to move into his, put all the money into a joint account and this money has been used to pay joint outgoings, why oh why did she not insist to be added as joint owner to his home which became their joint home? Why let all that money go instead of investing it if he was being difficult about adding her name to the deeds.

The house might be her 'home' at the moment, but it isn't legally because she is not a tenant. So if indeed he should be respecting her privacy, she can't enforce it. The guy's got her under control, but she is also chosing to stay under his control because she is getting something out of it. She is not a victim. She is working and did before, she can dedicate all her time applying for full-time jobs so she can get out of this control and do what thousands of single mums do every day, work hard to support themselves and their kids.

If he is self-employed, she might find herself struggling to get csa out of him, maybe she has worked that out already, hence her choice to stay, but then again, that's how it is, she picked him to have children with and she won't be the only one struggling to get a penny out of her ex (me to start with )

paddygirl

She has children with him so she needs to persue her rights to the home. She should get some independent legal advice and then act on the advice given.
In some respects at least he is still prepared to pay the mortgage, but clearly enjoys the power he has over his ex. I would agree its not fair for him to come and go from the property,although its his house, it isnt his home. As usual, its the kids that suffer the most, which I find quite sad.

skintandscared_2

Why doesn't she just change the locks if she doesn't want him coming in while she's out?

cosmic-dust

skintandscared wrote: »

Why doesn't she just change the locks if she doesn't want him coming in while she's out?

She can't, legally it's not her house it is his.

Killmark

skintandscared wrote: »

Why doesn't she just change the locks if she doesn't want him coming in while she's out?

Bad idea as you have no idea what the repercussions could be.

As for people suggesting she try and obtain a portion of the property or ensure rights to live there till the children are 18 there are somethings you might want to consider.

1. There is no guarantee that legal action would succeed and whether it succeeds or fails he might try and force a sale.

2. If she ends up with capital and ends up not living within the property her benefits would likely be affected and she'd probably end up spending a large portion to cover her rental housing costs. Her chance at getting her own mortgage would be slim to none.

3. If she stayed in the house till the children were 18 she could end up being forced out then and due to age might find it impossible to get a mortgage so just end up renting.

She'd be better off trying to accumulate savings and when the children are of school age get better paid full time work, then she's in a better position to start rocking the boat and maybe even buy the property from the ex or find her own place.

Killmark

cosmic-dust wrote: »

She can't, legally it's not her house it is his.

Not quite that simple but I would agree changing the locks wouldn't be a good idea.

neverdespairgirl

BigAunty wrote: »

She should see a solicitor about her legal rights to occupy the property should the ex want it back and see if it is feasible for her to get an order whereby she can occupy it until the youngest turns 18, for example, which is a fairly typical settlement, though I don't know if this depends on marriage or not.

That is a financial order in divorce, usually. Marriage first is crucial.