Need advice on OH’s worrying

MrsAtobe

Meritaten - I may come across as sanguine, but I know that if I wind myself up worrying about it, then my IBD will flare up. That won't help anyone. I will have a sleepless night the night before, and will be on tenterhooks on the day, but that is all I can allow myself -after all, why worry about the things you can't change? It's potentially because of the IBD that I developed the CRPS in my foot - I've become used to being an awkward and 'interesting' patient .

I'm so sorry to hear about your frien. I know that anaethestics carry risks, but you really don't expect that to happen in this day and age? Selfishly, I hope that it wasn't at the RGH or Neville Hall, I've seen you mention spotting something in a shop in the same town as Neville Hall in a different thread.

Also, thanks for the tip about soya oil, I'll get some tomorrow and get the OH to try it on his legs. I'm guessing that organic would be best if I can get it?

Wirenth - a gold dragon if I'm not mistaken? I have very sensitive skin too, so I don't use bio washing powder on anything than a pan, to soak them when they get too manky. I will keep an eye out and see if any shampoos make a difference to his scalp, he prefers an anti dandruff shampoo, as it stops his scalp itching so much.

Errata

He doesn't ask for reassurance, but I can tell when he needs it.

As for him catastrophising, it only seems to be me that this happens with. His mother does this with everything, and I agree, it can be very wearing. She also can turn every situation to being about her,and he's not like that,

These two comments of yours are quite striking. It seems to me he can make it quite clear to you without him saying a word that he wants your reassurance; his ensures his message is loud and clear. Non-verbal communication can sometimes be a passive way of getting someone to do something without having to 'own' the request.
And in your current situation with your foot he's doing exactly what his mother does - he's making it all about him and his needs when you and your needs should have primacy.
This is my very pragmatic view, I'm not emotionally involved as you are.

devildog

I am totally with wirenth on this one. Had psoriasis many years ago and the symptoms disappeared after taking vitamin B complex. Fast forward to 5 months ago and it reappeared. Now instead of taking B complex again I (in my wisom ) decided to play around with treating it with other methods (as recc in various forums) Lol big mistake it was going wild. About 10 days ago I decided enough was enough and started on the B complex again and what a huge improvement another week or so and it will be clear.
I have taken photos throughout these past few months to document how I got on and the difference is remarkable.
B complex is also good for balancing 'mental' state (which may be why it helps psoriasis) but I know a lot of IBD sufferers ake it too.

Incidently I too watched the Food/diet hospital programme, but what they actually shown for the IBD girl was nothing new or ground breaking in any shape or form.

donquine

I don't have psoriasis, but I do have eczema and both conditions are similar in several ways, mainly in terms of their stubbornness to shift!

If my eczema flares up randomly, really strong medication will sort it out quickly. If however, my eczema flares up because I'm coming into regular contact with something I'm allergic to, or because I'm really stressed, the drugs will only take the edge off the symptoms until I deal with the cause.

What I'm trying to say, is that for me, if I am truly stressed, there is no eczema medication that can deal with my skin effectively. I suppose there might be medication to deal with the stress and thus indirectly sort out the eczema, but it's never been a road I've wanted to explore.

I have however started taking my emotional state of mind more seriously over the past few years and started leaving work problems at work, which has had a dramatic impact on my skin. I do still need the medication, because eczema does flare up randomly as well as being triggered, but dealing with what's in my head has ultimately proven to be the most effective way of dealing with my skin.

You can't control your OH's psoriasis through different medication, you're not a doctor, but perhaps you can help him deal with his worries, which I would wager are one of his triggers. I'm sure you've been trying your best to help him for a long time now, so getting a third party involved for some more help, maybe some different approaches to take, may be the way forward. But even if you do need to get someone else in to help, your support will still be key.

Best wishes.