Church Vs. Registry Office

Dekazer

Why not speak to a few churches to see what requirements they have? If you both talk to the vicar together, at least you'll be discussing it from the same level of understanding. If your OH still feels that it's important to marry in a church, and is willing to put in the relevant effort to meet the criteria, then would you reconsider your position?

(I would understand if you still refuse to marry in church - I'm an atheist and the idea of marrying in a church would horrify me, however much I have enjoyed friends' church weddings..)

I echo other people's suggestion to view a number of registry offices. Some are nice, some are awful. We are not marrying in our local one (Hillingdon) because it's really vile, but the neighbouring borough (Ealing) has a beautiful one. Be aware, however, that some registry offices are very limited on numbers - some allow as few as 40 guests.

Third option (in England and Wales at least) is to find an 'approved premises'. These vary wildly from Holiday Inns to amazing boutique hotels, to zoos, sports clubs and pubs. You can check out any borough, not just where you live. Local authority websites list them.

Finally, if you're lucky enough to live in Scotland, you can get married pretty much anywhere! I've been to some incredible weddings up there in stately homes, fields, you name it. The law is different there, so it's the celebrant rather than the venue that needs to be licensed for weddings.

I hope that's of some help, and good luck finding a venue that suits you both

johannalf88

bramble1 wrote: »

I tried that arguement with him! It's what i think too. But apparently it's tradition to get married in a church :mad:

In that case... It's also tradition for the brides parents to pay and host the whole thing! And you get married in their parish! You also have very little say in the guest list etc, as again it the brides parents choice! All he has to traditional worry about is booking and paying for the honeymoon!

Is the above happening?!

bramble1

hahaha no!!

lisajane8482

johannalf88 wrote: »

In that case... It's also tradition for the brides parents to pay and host the whole thing! And you get married in their parish! You also have very little say in the guest list etc, as again it the brides parents choice! All he has to traditional worry about is booking and paying for the honeymoon!

Is the above happening?!

Sounds like a good argument to me :rotfl:

wanchai_2

bramble1 wrote: »

Day 1 of serious wedding planning was yesterday and we have come to our first hurdle.

OH wants a church wedding, I don't really. We are not religious, we don't go to church and it would be left to me to go on a sunday for however long it is so we could get married in one.

I don't know what to do!! I don't really want to give in an just let OH have his way - it's my day too.

He thinks Registry Office weddings are 'council house' - his words not mine! To be fair he's never even been to one! He thinks his family will dissaprove of a Registry Office wedding.

Any suggestions what i could do??

Tricky one! I sympathise. OH wouldn't be that keen on a church wedding, whereas he knew that I wouldn't ever get married anywhere *but* my church in my home town. He is very kindly letting me have my own way on this, as it matters more to me than it does to him. :A

Just one thing though - did you not know each others' views on weddings before now? OH and I were well aware of each other's preferences way before we got engaged! I'm just curious, not criticising - perhaps it's just never been discussed, even casually.

bramble1 wrote: »

Our reception is going to be in our paddock...don't think we can get married there!!


thanks for the suggestions guys!

I think you can get a licence for a wedding ceremony if you want to have it in the paddock, no idea what it costs though. Does anyone know?

MrsDrink

wanchai wrote: »

I think you can get a licence for a wedding ceremony if you want to have it in the paddock, no idea what it costs though. Does anyone know?

On my county's website it says the following:
Licensing a new venue for civil ceremonies £1,500.00

sugarwalsh

I think the problem with that is once it is registered then anyone can get married there. I once heard of a couple who got married at a registry office then hired an actor to play the part of registrar on their rather large estate.... Apparently the guests believed they witnessed the 'real' wedding, and unaware of the registry office.

Obviously this kind of behaviour is possibly best left to the very rich though...

Megan

johannalf88

That is basically what a humanist wedding is. You have a celebrant come and marry you anywhere u like. Think it is about £300-400. I am under the impression that someone on this board is having a humanist ceremony...

continualdiamond

Church wedding was out for us as well. I got christened, but besides weddings I have never been to church.

Registry office wedding was also out. Purely cos ours is right next to the library and across the road is the cinema and I just did not want outside photos with those in the background. Even if they were photoshopped out I'd just always look at them knowing what was really in the background.

We got married in an approved premises and then also had the reception. Venue hire was only £300 from 11am - 11pm and the registrar cost was then £350.

I also found the venue through our county council website, they listed loads of approved premises.

cuthbert_the_octopus

I believe that if you wish to get married in a church you need to complete a 'pre marriage' course in order to prepare you for married life.

Cant comment on for or against church vs registry office, as we got married abroad in an ice chapel!!