A few months and several questions

ZTD

RosaBernicia wrote: »

Sigh - so how come when I don't play games, they act confused?

:rotfl: Because you've just confused them... :rotfl:

A woman not playing games? That's some kind of game - isn't it. On of those [STRIKE]stubble[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]sputtle[/STRIKE] subtle games.

RosaBernicia wrote: »

Working on it

A day ending in 'pub' is a good one.

RosaBernicia wrote: »

I may well be window shopping, at least to start with while I figure out what I'm really looking for. I do need to think through this but want to do it over a good few hours when not distracted with day to day stuff. Now I've booked a few days off, I might go park myself in a cafe and not leave til I've come up with a list.

In some ways I don't like reducing what should be natural chemistry to a checklist, but on the other hand I suppose there are a few things that are pretty much essential for that chemistry to exist. So it won't do any harm to try and figure out what those are.

In my experience (limited as it is) it's not so much of what you want, but a list of what you don't.

Unless of course you have a series of identikit partners and like it that way.

RosaBernicia wrote: »

I can even think of someone I could use as a model...

You know Mr. Airfix? :cool:

RosaBernicia

ZTD wrote: »

:rotfl: Because you've just confused them... :rotfl:

A woman not playing games? That's some kind of game - isn't it. On of those [STRIKE]stubble[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]sputtle[/STRIKE] subtle games.

Yeah, I figured it was probably something like that.

ZTD wrote: »

In my experience (limited as it is) it's not so much of what you want, but a list of what you don't.

:rotfl: No, no, best not to work it that way round - a list of every failing of every idiot I or my friends have been out with would take months!

I think I'll just try to design the person spec, if you like - essential and desirable qualifications

ZTD wrote: »

Unless of course you have a series of identikit partners and like it that way.

*envisages exes as line-up* *thinks identikit unlikely, punch-up more probable :rotfl:*

ZTD wrote: »

You know Mr. Airfix? :cool:

I like Mr Meccano better - he can do more alternative positions


Rosa xx

ZTD

RosaBernicia wrote: »

Yeah, I figured it was probably something like that.

If you're going to "not play games" - expect a fair amount of disbelief.

On the bright side, at least the guys you confused were honest enough to show it. Despite not being a sexy look.

RosaBernicia wrote: »

:rotfl: No, no, best not to work it that way round - a list of every failing of every idiot I or my friends have been out with would take months!

Not *every* little failing - just the major themes. Think back - were any of them morris dancers?

• Must not be a morris dancer...

RosaBernicia wrote: »

I think I'll just try to design the person spec, if you like - essential and desirable qualifications

Yes just be aware that some things that are ok (if a little undesirable) on their own, are lethal in combination...

RosaBernicia wrote: »

I like Mr Meccano better - he can do more alternative positions

It's only because you like tightening down on his nuts...

RosaBernicia

Pole class does not appear to be on :mad: and had no advance notice of this so have wasted an hour and £6 in Costa :mad:

Have had worst suspicions confirmed about uselessness of work team member :mad: to the point am now out of patience and will be addressing it so it doesn't affect rest of team in future :mad:

Seriously thinking must sort out CV etc as am essentially getting bored. Still aiming for autumn as think this will be best time and must get on with project as this will help.

£100 for book sale has arrived and now been paid off smallest credit card :j . Am intending to give up holiday money budget next month and adjust payments so can wipe out that card altogether :j

Fab opportunity still potentially open and have expression of interest :j


Rosa xx

kerri_gt

Well done on paying off the cc Rosa.

How rubbish about pole, you should have at least been contacted. Hope everything is ok with your teacher and she hasn't been called away for something serious where she was unable to contact people in time.

ZTD

RosaBernicia wrote: »

Pole class does not appear to be on :mad: and had no advance notice of this so have wasted an hour and £6 in Costa :mad:

That's not very good at all.

RosaBernicia wrote: »

Have had worst suspicions confirmed about uselessness of work team member :mad: to the point am now out of patience and will be addressing it so it doesn't affect rest of team in future :mad:

Give someone else the chance to shine.

RosaBernicia wrote: »

Seriously thinking must sort out CV etc as am essentially getting bored. Still aiming for autumn as think this will be best time and must get on with project as this will help.

Do you need us to crack the whip?

RosaBernicia wrote: »

£100 for book sale has arrived and now been paid off smallest credit card :j . Am intending to give up holiday money budget next month and adjust payments so can wipe out that card altogether :j

It will be a little boost for you.

RosaBernicia wrote: »

Fab opportunity still potentially open and have expression of interest :j

:T

RosaBernicia

ZTD wrote: »

That's not very good at all.

Tisn't is it? Especially as 2 weeks ago the arrangements weren't clear and someone else was told to come to the later class. Will be texting for update tomorrow and am also considering investigating other classes in town.

ZTD wrote: »

Give someone else the chance to shine.

Oh, I shall. I will be having a conversation with Professor Fox tomorrow and will ensure that this person is snookered off my project. The work can to go someone who actually wants it.

It takes a lot to make me cross, but I'm quite effective and rather unforgiving once I am.

ZTD wrote: »

Do you need us to crack the whip?

Yes please

I have been procrastinating madly about this as I was still suffering the anxiety after-effects from last year's Major Meltdown, and worrying that it would get triggered all over again. It shouldn't, as I am recovered enough now that I have some energy and am getting bored enough that I need something to work on. The work itself should be reasonably straightforward as long as I am calm enough to approach it as work in the same way as I do anything else, instead of 'aaarrrrgh I must produce something madly academic and complicated'. Currently I still have 4 months which should be fine so long as I do take the leave I'm booking and get on with things. But I must do it as otherwise I'll basically miss out on a masters that took all that effort, and on the benefits to my career that the masters will bring.

I am deliberately not booking things in the evening in order to leave time for this and have already booked leave this Friday, around the next bank hol, and around the Jubilee hols. I want to get a draft in then. Feel free to nag me and send me off here whenever necessary.

See also upcoming post about guilt vs resentment :rotfl:


Rosa xx

ZTD

RosaBernicia wrote: »

Tisn't is it? Especially as 2 weeks ago the arrangements weren't clear and someone else was told to come to the later class. Will be texting for update tomorrow and am also considering investigating other classes in town.

Do that anyway - they may be better in general terms as well as being more organised.

RosaBernicia wrote: »

Oh, I shall. I will be having a conversation with Professor Fox tomorrow and will ensure that this person is snookered off my project. The work can to go someone who actually wants it.

It takes a lot to make me cross, but I'm quite effective and rather unforgiving once I am.

Are you *really* sure you're not me... :eek:

RosaBernicia wrote: »

Yes please

You don't know what you're letting yourself in for...

RosaBernicia wrote: »

I have been procrastinating madly about this as I was still suffering the anxiety after-effects from last year's Major Meltdown, and worrying that it would get triggered all over again. It shouldn't, as I am recovered enough now that I have some energy and am getting bored enough that I need something to work on.

It shouldn't because now you recognise the signs and won't ignore them and just dismiss them as being 'weak'.

RosaBernicia wrote: »

The work itself should be reasonably straightforward as long as I am calm enough to approach it as work in the same way as I do anything else, instead of 'aaarrrrgh I must produce something madly academic and complicated'.

At least you're aware of the dangers...

RosaBernicia wrote: »

Currently I still have 4 months which should be fine so long as I do take the leave I'm booking and get on with things. But I must do it as otherwise I'll basically miss out on a masters that took all that effort, and on the benefits to my career that the masters will bring.

Yes. Do it.

RosaBernicia wrote: »

I am deliberately not booking things in the evening in order to leave time for this and have already booked leave this Friday, around the next bank hol, and around the Jubilee hols. I want to get a draft in then. Feel free to nag me

:rotfl: We will...

RosaBernicia wrote: »

and send me off here whenever necessary.

Actually, you don't seem to spend much time on here. Well, unless you stay stumm most of the time.

It's your other unknown extra-curricular activities that must soak up your time. Probably all begininng with the letters T and V...

RosaBernicia wrote: »

See also upcoming post about guilt vs resentment :rotfl:

Guilt? No! Be flagrant about it... :rotfl:

RosaBernicia

ZTD wrote: »

Do that anyway - they may be better in general terms as well as being more organised.

This is what I'm also thinking.

ZTD wrote: »

Are you *really* sure you're not me... :eek:

yup, pretty sure...

ZTD wrote: »

You don't know what you're letting yourself in for...

Hmm. I didn't have you down for a Calamity Jane fan, I thought that generally had different implications :rotfl:

ZTD wrote: »

Actually, you don't seem to spend much time on here. Well, unless you stay stumm most of the time.

It's your other unknown extra-curricular activities that must soak up your time. Probably all begininng with the letters T and V...

I tend to flip through the DFW boards but don't post much except on subscribed threads, otherwise I'd just spend ages on here. I gave up regularly reading the other boards as the employment one was just making me unhelpfully cross :rotfl:

As for TV, I don't tend to watch much when I'm my usual self, in fact I have happily lived for years without a TV at all. But it is a marvellous invention for when you need to be distracted enough to not overthink yet not taxed by any effort whatsoever. The fab little book I mentioned earlier (and am about to quote from) actually recommends it as part of recovery from seriously stressing and it's been very useful in these last few months of recovering from the Major Meltdown. But it is time things changed since for one thing I now have enough energy to want to do other things, and for another I'm a bit disturbed that I seem to have already seen most of the repeats of CSI :rotfl:


How's things in Z-land?

Rosa xx

RosaBernicia

Right, this is a direct quote from the fab little book I mentioned a couple of posts ago. I'm typing it out because I need to remember this and so that you can all point at it when I get rattled!


"Guilt is good. It is a sign that you are making the changes you need to. Conversely, resentment is bad. It is an indication that you are sullenly, passively accepting the status quo. If nothing changes, everything remains the same. ...

G - R > 0

G stand for guilt and R for resentment. In other words, your level of guilt needs to be greater than your level of resentment. If it is, you're making some of the changes you need to implement to stay well. If if isn't, you're not changing enough to give yourself a chance of achieving sustained health and happiness."


I should probably print this out and stick it in my purse as well

Will be reporting on my G-R score :rotfl:

Rosa xx