Boarding the Bus of Positivity (for 24 months of travels!)

debtfreesomeday

It's been a little while since I last posted and the past few weeks haven't been a lot of fun to be honest. My wonderful Mum has been poorly once again, but is now out of hospital; Ds has not been sleeping well and we have had very little sleep, and now Ds and I have a virus which means coughing for hours on end at night times. We're pretty exhausted! Throw in the lack of money running up to payday and it's not been a barrel of laughs.

We were paid a couple of days ago now and, despite the £300 overdraft we had before getting paid, we're not doing too badly 'money-wise' at the moment. We've yet to touch the grocery or petrol budgets and I'm keeping track of the 'spendables' with the EEBA app I downloaded. It seems to be helping a great deal presently, although I think I may have drastically underestimated monies allocated to some of the budget categories at the moment, but at least it is helping us to monitor our spending.

Despite my Mum not being 100%, my parents made the trip to come and stay with us for a few days this week and it's been so lovely to see them. I cried buckets when they left yesterday, as did Ds. We really need to move closer. Without our knowledge, they also left us a cheque with which to buy a new bed. Ours desperately needs replacing and is making us both uncomfortable, but I feel so guilty that my parents have left that money for us. We're in our mid/late 30s, we should be able to afford a decent bed for goodness sake. I should be helping them out now, not still the other way round. I've protested about accepting the cheque, but they won't take no for answer. It's not a small sum of money either, but they want us to buy a good one so we don't end up replacing it after a couple of years.

Gotta run, will update more later...

Chocforever

Sorry to read things have been tough the past few weeks.

Regarding the cheque from your parents, I wouldn't stress over it. If they can afford it and like treating you, it will make them happy for you to accept the money.

Times have changed and whereas children of working age maybe helped out their parents in the past, now it is more often the parents who have the spare cash. They have often benefited from property price inflation and are entitled to pensions way in excess of the amounts we will see and at a relatively early age. I know it doesn't make the situation much easier to accept when it is your own family.

I must go and sort out some food before the opening ceremony starts. Not quite sure what to expect but I'm sure it will be interesting.

wantabetterlife

Hope you have a better weekend DFSD...your mum and Dad are amazing..they sound like the loveliest people. Hope enjoy the bed shopping. Me and OH splashed out after we got married and bought an expensive memory foam bed and i have to say i havent regretted it for a minute...its definately worth spending a decent amount on.

debtfreesomeday

Thanks guys, yes, they are indeed lovely people. All they do is think of other people and both have worked so hard all their life and have been so careful with their money, they are my heroes, and Ds's too, come to think of it. He adores both of them.

Well, the bed has been ordered and will be delivered on Friday, we can't wait! I've had rib and back pain for the past week which goes around mid morning, which I'm sure is from sleeping on the awful bed we have. Thankfully the company will take the old bed away and deliver the new one for free too, I just need to dust and hoover the bedroom a little so it looks a bit cleaner!

It was DH's birthday last week and so had a few more spends than usual on a meal out and a coffee here and there. This year, I really didn't know what to buy him, so I bought 12 gold envelopes from ebay and have made up a 'treat' card for every month for the next year. He gets to open an envelope every month on the date of his birthday. I have tried to keep the treats as budget-friendly as possible, whilst still having fun, so have taken advantage of the tesco clubcard restaurant vouchers to take him out for lunch on a few occasions. Other treats include a trip to the cinema; a steak and wine night; a selection of his favourite foodie products, a voucher to download kindle books or coffee shop vouchers etc. and a few local days out at events. I wasn't sure how he would like it, but was relieved to see he was overjoyed with the idea and is very excited about opening an envelope every month. Phew!

I'm still going with the EEBA app, although it has shown that I dramatically underestimated some of the areas of our budget. I will need to up the amount in some envelopes for next month.

debtfreesomeday

Another good job opportunity has arisen for DH in the area where I'm from and where we want to move to. However, we've done the sums and we still can't afford it without me getting a job too, (which are like golden goose eggs in that area) and then we have the childcare issue to deal with vs the affordability of working... the alternative is to get a mortgage with extra within that to pay off the loan, credit card and to afford a house BUT with only hubby's wage to go on as I wouldn't be earning. ARGH, why is everything so complicated?!

On another note, our new bed arrived today, so can't wait for a good night's sleep tonight, if Ds decides to sleep well!

I have been having another 'down' week this past week. I've been feeling very low about everything again and had lots of tears after a particularly difficult tantrum-filled day from Ds yesterday. I literally have no-one I can call up and meet for a coffee or anything around here, despite trying to strike up links with people and make new friends. We are friendly with lots of people up our street, lots who are new parents, but no-one seems interested in doing anything! I guess they all are local and have family/old friends round here so don't need to put effort into new friendships - that's what I'm hoping it is anyway as, last time I checked, I didn't have two heads.
I am so fed up with feeling so lonely and having no-one to chat with during the day, I really am.

Anyway, the spiral downwards in my mood has resulted in me going out and spending more money than I should. I haven't bought anything extravagant, but have picked up some Christmas gifts, a couple of inexpensive new tops for myself as I was getting embarrassed about the lack of clothes I have (they were only from Asda, mind!), an extra deep sheet to fit our new bed as the old sheets we have were not deep enough and some storage boxes/kitchen bits for the house from IKEA.... My idea of a spending spree!

To make matters worse, hubby is working ALL weekend, and until late tonight. Not exactly sure what Ds and I are going to do all weekend, particularly if the weather is bad. We have become quite good at long walks and mini picnics when the weather is nice, but the forecast is not good for this weekend. I really want to avoid walking round the shops.

debtfreesomeday

Just relisted an item on ebay that hasn't previously sold. Fingers crossed it goes this time. I shall try and look through Ds's clothes over the weekend and have another sort out of things he has outgrown and list them in bundles on ebay. I could probably also find another couple of things that could be listed in attempt to make a few more pennies to pay off the credit card.

Chocforever

I think you need to make the move happen if you possibly can because reading your diary, it seems to me that you have tried as hard as possible to make life work where you are, but it doesn't and you aren't happy.

Is there ever going to be a time when you can get a job in your desired area? And if so, how long would you have to wait for DH to also get a job in that area. If this is the sticking point, would you consider changing career?

In the meantime, could you change your hours at work and do them all in, say, two or three consecutive days and stay away from home one or two nights a week?

A lot of this depends on what your long term life and money plans are.

No easy answers, are there?

Best wishes x

debtfreesomeday

Frustratingly, I just wrote a long post and lost it. gggrrr. :mad:

Will sum up quickly now, can't be bothered to re-write it all!

You're completely right Chocs; I'm not happy and do need to make the move work asap, but unfortunately the sums are telling us now is not the right time. We've thought really hard about it the past couple of days and it would just leave us more in debt at the moment, which, after having worked so hard to rid ourselves of, is probably not the best thing to do.

On the flip side, hubby has just been made aware of another job in our present local area which, is he got it, would mean a 12K increase in salary per annum. That would drastically speed up our debt free date and help us save towards a better future more quickly. Of course, he has to apply (and get!) the job first. No pressure, hubby! He has all but one of the areas of experience, so it's worth a try if nothing else.

This weekend is a tough one. I'm on my own all weekend as DH is working. It hasn't helped that DS is teething terribly at the moment which is resulting in little sleep and a really unhappy toddler. The weather hasn't helped either. We got through today - just! - but DS has already woken 5 or 6 times since going to bed 3 hours ago. I think we're in for a long night which will mean an even longer day for me tomorrow.

Last night I managed to sort out a couple more bits to put on ebay. Not sure when I'm going to get chance to list anything, but for now, I'm putting everything to get rid of into a pile in the spare room which I can then sort into ebay/local selling/charity shop or recycle piles. We have dismantled Ds's playpen which we hardly used, and will sell that locally, hopefully next week. It is quite a good one which can be adapted for different uses, so hopefully we'll get a good price for it.
I'm determined to try and keep up the 'getting rid' mantra that I started in earnest this year. I've done quite well in selling/giving/throwing away lots of stuff we no longer used or needed, but I'm sure there are other areas of clutter that I could sort. Our built in wardrobe/store cupboard is the first to focus on I think, shortly followed by the little utility cupboard we have. Tidy space, tidy mind and all that...

Anyway, need to tear myself away from the laptop and the olympics and try and get some sleep. I'm sure very little of it will be on offer tonight, so need to make the most of every minute!

DFSD

wantabetterlife

Wow that would be fab if your OH got the job..12k would make a massive difference to you...fingers crossed for you both! I definately agree with you on the clutter front, a less cluttered house is so much easier to keep clean and tidy and makes me feel so much happier. I have sorted a few things for ebay and will try and list them tomorrow evening. That must be hard for you with DS and the teething...the only small consolation is that it passes, before you know it he will be sleeping all nite

Chocforever

I hope you had a better night. I was at the Olympics last night which was fab. Got home at 3:30 this morning so not up to much at all today!

I think that getting debt free is a good goal (otherwise why would I be here ). That said, I think getting debt free as quickly as possible can be overrated as normal life is put on hold to achieve that one goal. I'm not saying you do that, but I have in the past and I see others doing the same and then on reaching that goal, feel it is an anti-climax and wonder why they didn't live more on the way.

I don't know exactly how the numbers work out for you (and I'm not prying by saying that) but consider going more in debt now to get what you want in the long term. I'm not going to labour this because only you know what is right for you, and indeed truly possible (and it is your diary ).

I think DH going for the job is a great idea and would be a good confidence boost. If you stay put, I'm sure you will find good use for the money and it would take the pressure off day to day living.

The rain is torrential here so I don't think I will be heading out this afternoon. Which means I have time to do some ebay listings. Shame.

Best wishes x