18 year old wont pay keep, spending his money on tattoos !!

jojo_2012_2

Lady_strange wrote: »

"My own question to him on the tattoo would focus around "How many guys who have 'made it' have ANY tattoos at all? I've never seen one......"

To answer this question.... David Beckham, Robbie Williams, Ozzy Osbourne, Phil Anselmo... last I knew, all had tattoos, and were millionaires.
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totally irrelevant people for the argument. New 'act' or not, sitting in a job interview covered in tats doesn't help your chances.

Also...Phil Anselmo such a random choice for an example :rotfl:

DCFC79

My first job when i was 18 i paid a portion of my wages as like rent/housekeeping etc. I didnt moan about it as it was the thing to do. Think what impression he is setting the 12yo.

Let him spend his money as he wants as he may well regret doing so at some point if he wnats to go out or buy stuff.

Oh and as for the mac, does he wnat 1 for his course or because all his mates have 1 ?

skintandscared_2

Why the discussion on tattoos? It's not about the actual tattoo - it could be a games console/TV/car/anything at all - the point is that the selfish child clearly doesn't "get" that he needs to contribute to the household bills, or at the very least use the money to buy his course books!! If he does spend the grant money on himself, how will he get his books?

I'm getting sick of reading about older teens/early twentysomethings who think they are "owed" everything. Parents run round after them and finance their every whim, obviously not realising they are rearing a selfish and inconsiderate sponger. You REALLY think you are helping them grow up?! Do this "lad" a favour and either charge him for his keep or withdraw all laundry/catering services. Or tell him to get on t'internet and investigate how much life would cost if he moved out and got a room in a house-share with 5 other students...

Welshwoofs

Tell him that he'll be needing that £1,000 for the deposit on a flat as he's now an adult and doesn't get to live at Hotel of Mum & Dad for free.

The only advice you need is how hard to put your boot up his backside and make him stand on his own two feet. He is now an adult and your obligations to raise him are OVER.

skintandscared_2

Welshwoofs wrote: »

Tell him that he'll be needing that £1,000 for the deposit on a flat as he's now an adult and doesn't get to live at Hotel of Mum & Dad for free.

The only advice you need is how hard to put your boot up his backside and make him stand on his own two feet. He is now an adult and your obligations to raise him are OVER.

I agree with the sentiment, but believe it's an integral PART of raising a child to teach them life skills. How to survive on their own. This young man should know how to take care of himself and know how much life "costs"!

[Deleted User]

hiring a hitman might be cheaper than keeping him for a year.....just a thought :-)

Maryharri

lauraann - I hope you'll be able to grit your teeth and take some of the advice offered on here. You are not being being tight, so don't let your son make you feel guilty. I'm sure you don't want to 'throw him out', but he is taking advantage of you, as most will. As has been suggested, decide on your ground rules and if necessary write them down as a reasonable list that you feel you can stick to. If you can get your son to give you a token amont, say £5 a week, then you will have made a start, but definitely make sure he does his own chores and tell him if he spends his money on the tattoo then you will be very disappointed that he has money to waste and that you will have to consider how this will affect his place in your home. Perhaps tell him you would like him to come with you to an appointment, eg Citizens Advice Bureau, to help you all decide the best way forward. I've no idea whether you could actually do this, but I'm sure he won't call your bluff. State your case and don't get drawn into any arguments. If he starts to comply then you can give some encouragement in a very tiny way, like treating you all to a pudding that he likes but you don't usually buy. Be strong - he might think he's an adult but in my experience you'll have to wait until he's about 25 before he starts to think like one.

Wishfairy2010

What about treating him as an equal member of the household and inviting him to a financial meeting - ie all sit down with the monthly income/outgoings and see where the money is being spent. It might be that he just doesn't realise how expensive it is to live these days and why should two thirds of the adult population pay for the 3rd person?

Obviously you want to support him with his education so will make allowances but if mum and dad spend 100% of their income on the household then why shouldn't he... of course that crumbles a little if mum and dad smoke, drink or take holidays without him but you could work it out in %'s and see what his ideas are to ease things for everyone while still having some benefits to him working and going to college.

Good luck!