My Sister.. Grrrrrrrrr

Sambucus_Nigra

Lady_Aga wrote: »

I have a family member who buys the same telly, phone, clothes, ipod, handbag, kitchen stuff as me. I just think that she doesn't have enough confidence to make up her own mind.

Me too. Although my brother and myself have very nearly the same stuff, we live 175 miles from each other and are always stunned when we have bought the same things without knowing it.

Giddytimes

Thing is, she's probably very unhappy deep down, I don't agree that you should just try and speak to her less.

My Mum is exactly the same, to the point that whenever I buy a family member a gift they like she actually pretends she bought it for me, or told me what to buy!! I'm 30, she hasn't chose or bought any of the presents I've given to the rest of the family since I was 14.
Some people just need more appreciation and attention from other people, I don't let it bother me.

demented_weasel

Is your sister married?

Only she sounds like quite a catch!!

DKLS

I had a friend like that, I deleted him from my life, I dont need people like that in my life.

sassyblue

blue_monkey wrote: »

Clearly she has such little self esteem 'things' have to make her feel important.

Maybe think of this the next time she starts and just say 'I do not need things to make me feel better than everyone else' and walk away.

She's probably so ignorant she doesn't even realise she's doing it, so doing what you suggest would make Dasa look like she's causing trouble.

Dasa, ignore her! She probably is insecure or ignorant and remember.... if you find her like this so might others.... keep smiling and ignore her.

RadoJo

I agree that it sounds as though ignoring it would be the easiest course of action - clearly you are happy with your lot, or at least happy enough not to feel competitive with your sister, and surely you know whether you have good relationships with other members of the family in which case her view doesn't matter. It sounds as though some of her comments are hitting raw nerves with you, so you can either address the points that are really upsetting you (have you ever tried actually confronting her?) or try to ignore it. I'm not sure that you can change anything unless you are prepared to tell her how you feel though, so the decision is yours.

saidan

count yourself lucky - my mother, sister and brother all have narcissitic tendencies, though my sister is by far the worse.

i recently moved just to get away from it all, it was a constant headache to me on an emotional level

now just got to get through christmas - already being messed around while they decide between them who is the most important :mad:

telling narcissists how you feel makes no difference, just causes rows in my opinion.

i much rather watch from the sidelines and consider my closest friends my family

so you are not alone!

EllaBeagle

I have a sister in law who hates anyone copying off her and will go into massive rants about how they can't think for themselves but then she will go out and buy or do the same as everyone else? If you want something she will do her best to get it before you even if she gets into debt for it. Well leave her to it I say because one day it will all backfire

Same goes for your sister, they always land with a bump in the end. Take a back seat and watch.

olibrofiz

As she's family, see her as little as possible.

I was part of a group of 7 friends who used to meet up every month for a meal at one of their houses. After I spent a year backpacking round Australia I came back to listening to them wittering on about who had the best house/car/clever child/holiday/dog/OH/furniture/tv/job so I cut all but one of them out of my life. Haven't regretted it for a minute.

And I still get to hear from the one I do keep in touch with that they haven't changed a bit - we laugh about it

oldtractor

I cut loose from a couple of "toxic" relatives,best thing I could have done. Let them go and make someone else miserable.