My Sister.. Grrrrrrrrr

mackemdave

Id willingly swap sisters...ANYTIME

Stayed with her cheating hubby cos of the house.......Lives 20 mins away from our 81yo Mum and calls in once every 2/3/4 weeks for an hour...my brother who lives 100 miles away sees Mum more...and he doesnt even drive

Its all about possessions....not people

I stopped speaking to her when I asked if she pop over and inspect Mum after she had fallen and injured a private part..Told me she would go over later the following afternoon

Lots more I could add

Errata

Don't get a black cat, the sister will get one and hers will be blacker. IMO she's exceedingly insecure and uses 'my stuff's better than your stuff, I know best and you know nowt' to protect herself from reality.

onlyroz

I like to buy the "best" of things - when choosing a new TV I will decide on a budget and do my research to make sure that I get the best at that price point. I would also advise a friend or relative if I knew that they wanted to buy something similar - but I would never make somebody feel bad if I thought they had made the wrong choice about something.

Dasa

blue_monkey wrote: »

Clearly she has such little self esteem 'things' have to make her feel important.

Maybe think of this the next time she starts and just say 'I do not need things to make me feel better than everyone else' and walk away.

Yes that is what I think. She uses very opportunity to make herself the 'special' one. I try to steer the conversation in a different direction and I can tell she doesn't like it when I do.

She is not a bad person as such, just increasingly annoying and wants everyone to love her the most, want her the most and then tell everyone
around that she is the most loved, confided in, trusted etc.

She is one of those people that wants you to always agree with her POV and if you don't then you are in the wrong.


I suppose there is probably a term for her personality.

Kira000

Hard to do, but try and take it as a compliment that she feels insecure enough to have to TELL you how much better she/her car/ her house/her life is than yours. If she truly felt that way, then she wouldnt have to say it. All her behaviour says is, i am threatened by you, and i have to try and make myself feel/look better in front of you. Instead of letting it wind you up, try to feel sorry for her that she feels this need.

My sister doesnt do the i'm better thing, but for many years i envied her as being the one the family saw as successful and uber clever and great job etc. One day we ended up having a fairly deep chat for the first time ever, and it turned out that she envied me for being seen by our family as the popular, easy going one who had nice friends and got on with people. You never can tell what hang-ups people have hidden inside..

Alikay

My sister in law is perfect too. Only trouble is, she's also actually very nice, so I have no reason (except for jealousy) to dislike her

Errata

Dasa wrote: »

I suppose there is probably a term for her personality.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder might fit.

Dasa

onlyroz wrote: »

I like to buy the "best" of things - when choosing a new TV I will decide on a budget and do my research to make sure that I get the best at that price point. I would also advise a friend or relative if I knew that they wanted to buy something similar - but I would never make somebody feel bad if I thought they had made the wrong choice about something.

Yes I would as well.

But with my sister it is you should get this, it is the best no ifs or buts, this is the best place to go on holiday and on and on and on.What is best for one person does not make it the best for another.

I am not a competitive person I do not set out to impress anyone.She is the sort of person who would not stop talking about the famous person who was at the same holiday place as her one year. I could not care less about such things, they are just another person to me.

She does not deride me for my choices but I find her comments insensitive at times especially when it comes to relationships within the family.

Dasa

Errata wrote: »

Narcissistic Personality Disorder might fit.

Thanks, I will look that one up.

muddyl

It all depends on how you view your relationship as a whole. Many people have said to ignore or understand her behaviour, if you can do that then great.

I have a brother who's very much like that. I tried to put up with it, for many years, till id had enough.
I dont bother with him now, lucky if I see him a couple times a year and never phone each other. It was a little hard at first, but not as hard as putting up with his behaviour. Much happier now, even our parents understand. And when we do see each other, there's no more oneupmanship.