Son showing signs of Dyspraxia

misspiggy_2

I'm hoping someone can help me or just give me some comfort. I have a 10 year old son who i have always felt is a 'bit different'.
He has been assessed for Aspergers by educational psychologist and paede (?) and is said to be 'borderline'. but a friend of mine mentioned dyspraxia, so i looked it up and some signs are there. His speech was delayed (4 years old). He has
- poor handwriting;

- lacks self esteem (to a point that his confidence is soo debilitating for him). he only has one best friend;

- not very creative or imaginative (so finds English at school very difficult) although loves maths (probably to do with the fact that we've spent a lot of time at home with him on it);

- very prone to being bullied (this is my biggest worry right now). He was in tears yesterday as a group of lads picked on him and stole his book and called him names.

- he's not very organised. Everything is last minute

- very forgetful. Can sometimes even walk out of school without his coat?

- he's even had his jumper on back to front!

- he has very limited short-term memory and can forget quite quickly a list of instructions he's been given.

- he runs quite oddly (not sure if anyone will understand this?)

What can I do to help him? I'm at a loss. I don't just want a label on him for the sake of it i.e I don't just want to go to my doc now and get him diagnosed for dyspraxia if they're not going to do anything about it other than just to 'give it a name' if you understand what I mean.

How do you comfort a child who has been bullied? how do you explain it to them? why is it happening to them? It's soo heartbreaking as a mother :-(

What activities should I involve him in to get his self esteem and confidence levels up (I've tried martial arts, he did it for 2 years but did'nt enjoy it at all);

He loves his PSP, but I find thats just an escapism for him, and it's great that his PSP isn't working these days as it means he needs to interact more with other family members now.

Has anyone been in this situation? any advice would be greatly appreciated.

How do I increase his short term memory?

How do I make him more organised?

In the past 2 years he has made significant improvement on his speech and

gingin_2

I have the sweetest, funniest, most thoughtful, chaotic friend who is dyspraxic, I've known since the age of 18. When she told me I had no idea what it was and assumed it was like dyslexia just because it sounded the same and never thought much of it untilI started hearing about it when I was older. Now I understand it more I can see the traits are there but she manages fine.

Her handwriting was always appalling, she can't organise for toffee, but she did brilliantly in her law degree and is now a happy, eccentric solicitor, who everyone loves.

peachyprice

From experience I would have thought dyspraxia would have been picked up on before now, especially if you've had him assessed for other conditions.

What was he like as a young child? Was he always falling over, not normal falling over while playing but just tripping over his own feet while walking? Does/did he always drop things and knock things over? Is he generally very clumsy?

Did he ride a bike at the same age as others? Can he catch a ball and hit a ball with a bat/racket? These are things that 'normal' children do with ease but dyspraxic children do not have the co-ordination to do.

You say his handwriting is poor, how poor, can others read it? Can he write a story that makes sense? Dyspraxic children tend to lose their way whilst writing and can either write a few lines neatly or write a longer rambling piece that makes no sense to anyone else in unreadable writing.

I do think the bullying and lack of self esteem are a separate issue to dyspraxia. The fact that he is being bullied may mean that he's worrying about that while getting read for school rather than getting himself organised, or he doesn't want to get organised because he doesn't want to go to school.

What have the school said about the bullying, are they dealing with it appropriately?

misspiggy_2

peachyprice wrote: »

From experience I would have thought dyspraxia would have been picked up on before now, especially if you've had him assessed for other conditions.

What was he like as a young child? Was he always falling over, not normal falling over while playing but just tripping over his own feet while walking? Does/did he always drop things and knock things over? Is he generally very clumsy?
he was always falling over. had problems eating (refused to eat very much at all), did'nt develop his speech until very late. did'nt crawl at all but went straight to standing and walking.

Did he ride a bike at the same age as others? Can he catch a ball and hit a ball with a bat/racket? These are things that 'normal' children do with ease but dyspraxic children do not have the co-ordination to do.
cannot ride a bike, can hit a ball with a racket. This is the confusing part for me. His hand eye co-ordination is quite good other than when doing up his shirt buttons! which he finds very difficult

You say his handwriting is poor, how poor, can others read it? Can he write a story that makes sense? Dyspraxic children tend to lose their way whilst writing and can either write a few lines neatly or write a longer rambling piece that makes no sense to anyone else in unreadable writing.
His handwriting is still poor, but better than it used to be (due to a LOT of practice by me, now it can be read, but it's just soo messy, no consistent spacing betwen words, words are not consistently the same size). The sentences themselves do make sense.

I do think the bullying and lack of self esteem are a separate issue to dyspraxia. The fact that he is being bullied may mean that he's worrying about that while getting read for school rather than getting himself organised, or he doesn't want to get organised because he doesn't want to go to school. he is being seems by CAMS (a counsellor in order to get to the bottom of his low sef esteem confidence issue and help him), but I've always had the feeling that his low self esteem was excerbated by his late development of speech and teh fact that his sister is the extreme in the sense that she is overconfident with what seems like the entire school is friends with her.

What have the school said about the bullying, are they dealing with it appropriately?

I have raised it with them in the past and they said they'd keep an eye out for it. On occasions the bullies have been disciplined. But aside from that, I need to know what advice I can give to him to comfort him when it happens. I was soo heartbroken last night. Do you tell them to ignore the bullies and they'll get bored and move on?

I am aware that he does'nt show all the traits of dyspraxia, but some of them to a slight degree i.e poor organisational skills, poor handwriting (which has improved a bit due to constant practice).

I just feel lost if I'm honest :-(

misspiggy_2

Peachy price, I have answered some of your post in your original and my reply above is very odd and it seems to have been part responded in your original post and part left at the bottom of your post (you can tell I don't post very often on this forum!)

misspiggy_2

Thank you both gingin and Peachprice for responding to my post.

clearingout

I have a 7 year old who I believe is dyspraxic - have thought this since he was 3. We are just getting to the point now where the teachers are beginning to nod their heads - and it took a student teacher who'd observed him for one week to say 'has A got dyspraxia' for them to do that! No advice for you, just empathy. Have you looked at the Dyspraxia Foundation website? There are local contacts on there which might be of use to you.

peachyprice

It doesn't sound as if they're taking the bullying seriously TBH, perhaps you need to step it up a notch as they're being so woolly about it.

Does the school have anyone he can talk to. At DD's school they have a designated 'agony aunt' at lunchtimes. Sometimes it's a class teacher, sometimes it the SENCO. They are in a classroom where children can find them if they're upset or worried about something. Also our SENCO will also be available for certain children known to have problems.

Perhaps a way forward would be to have a meeting with the SENCO, he/she will be able to advise you on the dyspraxia and may be able to reassure your son that she can come to him if he's having problems with particular children.

concerned43

I heart goes out to you. My son suffers from dyslexia and dyspraxia and you post resembles my son to a T!
It is important the you get your son diagnosed ASAP as only then can you get the help your son needs.
There is no magic wand I'm afraid but with Occupational Therapy his motor skills/co-ordination can improve.
My son's short term memory is something he will always have and I have strategies in place to deal with it i.e. write things down for him, have his friends know what he has to do that day and make sure he does not forget his jacket etc.
I also get his friends to feed back any homework etc.
He has a care plan at the school and I make sure the school adhere to it by having regular meetings with the shool and a weekly call into his guidance teacher.
My son also suffers from extreme anxiety and is receiving therapy for it. My son also suffers from bullying and is a target for a lot of nasty comments. the key is to nip it in the bud, I call the head teacher immediately to bring it to his attention and also follow it up a day later to ensure action had been taken. I also forge strong relations with DS's friends and make them aware of any bullying so he has back-up.
With regards to self-esteem, my DS also does martial arts - which he loves and when he comes home from it I get him to show me some moves etc and tell him I could not do it/punch so hard etc and that he must be really strong - which helps his confidence. I also make sure that I have his friends over at least two nights a week.
Its hard and takes up most of my time to be honest managing everything but will be worth it in the end!

kymrob

my friends boy was told he had this at around 9 or 10 u discribed her son in your post, he is now 21 and holding down full time job, drives and have plenty of girlfriends, he still is alittle bit of some u pointed out but he is happy and healthy!

psychopathbabble

I don't have any advice for you, but my boyfriends younger brother has dyspraxia, he is now 23 and has a girlfriend, a full time job, owns his own car... just wanted to let you know so as hard as it is right now, you know the future will be positive, and he will get there

Hope you get something worked out and get the help you need xx