Will - excluding a child

djdido2

Any Parent who wishes to leave money to one child and not the other (Biological or not) has serious issues. I feel it is the responsibility of the Parent, whilst the child is a minor, to make and keep contact and ensure that the child feels loved and wanted. When the child becomes an adult this is a whole new ball game. Moving on in life is perfectly acceptable but to ignore a child is just blatantly cruel. DD after 15 years has stopped the calls at Christmas, Fathers Day etc as she herself has discovered that she is wasting her breath on someone who HAS MOVED ON AND IS NOT IN THE SLIGHTEST BIT INTERESTED IN HER!!

NAR

Too true DUTR, if parents acted like adults instead of children a lot of bitterness and hurt on all sides could be avoided.

DUTR

djdido2 wrote: »

Any Parent who wishes to leave money to one child and not the other (Biological or not) has serious issues. I feel it is the responsibility of the Parent, whilst the child is a minor, to make and keep contact and ensure that the child feels loved and wanted. When the child becomes an adult this is a whole new ball game. Moving on in life is perfectly acceptable but to ignore a child is just blatantly cruel. DD after 15 years has stopped the calls at Christmas, Fathers Day etc as she herself has discovered that she is wasting her breath on someone who HAS MOVED ON AND IS NOT IN THE SLIGHTEST BIT INTERESTED IN HER!!

I see your point, but on balance, any parent that wants to encourage estrangement also has serious issues too, especially when they nurture the practice onto the child. If the child is wasting their breath then why later want to benefit from someone else's last breath?

redcard

In situations like this just blame the other parent.
The other parent can then blame the other parent, and the end up is no-one's acting like an adult and the child suffers.

A few people on this thread should be on Jeremy Kyle. The sad thing is, they'll never admit it.

DUTR

redcard wrote: »

In situations like this just blame the other parent.
The other parent can then blame the other parent, and the end up is no-one's acting like an adult and the child suffers.

A few people on this thread should be on Jeremy Kyle. The sad thing is, they'll never admit it.

Can't be me, I'm employed and have teeth
It does seem odd that some like to preach morals only when it suits them though, as the law stands, one does not have to leave everything to share between any offspring otherwise there would be little need to make a last testament statement.

trolleyrun

I've estranged myself from a parent, and did so several years ago. That parent had siphoned off their savings to OH and child (my half-sibling) anyways, but that wasn't my reasons for estranging myself. I fully expect to be excluded from any will and I would rather not have anything from this parent. In the unlikely event that I'm granted anything upon parent's death, I will donate any money to a charitable cause and will sell anything to then donate the money to a charitable cause.

I've no dependants or beneficiaries, so I'm planning on spending my money as I see fit. Yes, I have savings now, as I intend to live for quite a few years yet. But later in life, I'll spend my money on Champagne, a completely unsuitable car, trip of a lifetime or whatever I feel like. Then nobody will have to argue about who gets what.

I understand what the OP means about leaving a child out of a will, especially if there's no contact at all. We don't know the background to this. It could be that the child's mother refuses the father to have any contact (it happens far too often). It could be a number of reasons, which we do not need to know about.

OP, talk to a solicitor. Get the will as watertight as you can. However, if the child is still underage, please provide a trust fund for the equivalent of the support currently given.

djdido2

DUTR wrote: »

I see your point, but on balance, any parent that wants to encourage estrangement also has serious issues too, especially when they nurture the practice onto the child. If the child is wasting their breath then why later want to benefit from someone else's last breath?

As I said its not about the money, just about being accepted!!

DUTR

djdido2 wrote: »

As I said its not about the money, just about being accepted!!

I keep harping on about the 5th commandment

"5 “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you."

As mentioned I don't refer to your individual case , there are some that will make it less than easy for the father to maintain a relationship with their offspring.

trolleyrun

djdido2 wrote: »

As I said its not about the money, just about being accepted!!

Unfortunately, that may never happen. Support your DD in life, by telling her she's important to you and whoever else loves her. Yes, it's hard to not be accepted when she's done nothing wrong, but it's the only way to keep sane and have a happy life. I know, I've been there. Your DD needs to build her confidence and self-esteem - with your help and possibly with the help of counselling. Find her self-worth and the fact that her being around makes people happy. She can do it, but it's not instant. It's hard work, but she'll get there eventually.

princessdreamer

I don't understand how a child can estrange themselves from a parent, the RP could move them without telling the NRP or the NRP could simply dissapear. Any parent who wanted contact could if they tried hard enough even if it is just a letter or phone call once a week. DUTR if you don't mind me asking what happened.