church problems- really disappointed

bubbles0169

I thought you had to be christened to be married in a church or is that outdated?

split_second

bubbles0169 wrote: »

I thought you had to be christened to be married in a church or is that outdated?

used to be one of the couple had to, even if it is still current, my fiancee has been christened.

my parents decided that i should choose religion for myself when i got an age to do so

74jax

split_second wrote: »

my parents decided that i should choose religion for myself when i got an age to do so

And did you then get Christened, when you decided to in this church out of your parish or the one which you don't want to be married in but in your parish?

Sorry i'm just a bit confused.

I'd maybe have a word with the vicar at the church where you did get christened as an adult and see if he will marry you? I know it won't be the 'pretty' church you wanted, but would be less hypocritical maybe?

split_second

74jax wrote: »

And did you then get Christened, when you decided to in this church out of your parish or the one which you don't want to be married in but in your parish?

Sorry i'm just a bit confused.

I'd maybe have a word with the vicar at the church where you did get christened as an adult and see if he will marry you? I know it won't be the 'pretty' church you wanted, but would be less hypocritical maybe?

i've never been christened at all

mildred1978

Perhaps you could hire a film set and have a picture perfect church built out of cardboard.

PolishBigSpender

split_second wrote: »

we've been attending for 3 months and the rector knows this.

So you only started attending to get married there?

split_second wrote: »

i've never been christened or attended church as a child so not got a connection that way

So why do you want to get married in a church? Just because it's pretty?

MaggieBaking

I feel like a lot of people are being cruel here. There are plenty of brides that get married in a Church and don't attend every week. A lot of people have the belief that what makes a wedding important is that it is in a Church, even if it is not a part of their usual routine. The OP has said that her fiance is christened, perhaps it is important to him?

Either way, the Church is happy with it - probably for lots of reasons, such as money and hoping that perhaps involving God in a wedding is a good way at encouraging people to have God in other aspects of their lives - like raising children or funerals.

I had a civil ceremony, I have my own ideas of Faith, what makes a "wedding" and when I should go to Church - but I wouldn't dream of trying to enforce those on other people.

I can't help but wonder about the validity of certain choices, but I don't think it's my place to make snide comments on them.

NoAngel

MaggieBaking wrote: »

I feel like a lot of people are being cruel here. There are plenty of brides that get married in a Church and don't attend every week. A lot of people have the belief that what makes a wedding important is that it is in a Church, even if it is not a part of their usual routine. The OP has said that her fiance is christened, perhaps it is important to him?

Either way, the Church is happy with it - probably for lots of reasons, such as money and hoping that perhaps involving God in a wedding is a good way at encouraging people to have God in other aspects of their lives - like raising children or funerals.

I had a civil ceremony, I have my own ideas of Faith, what makes a "wedding" and when I should go to Church - but I wouldn't dream of trying to enforce those on other people.

I can't help but wonder about the validity of certain choices, but I don't think it's my place to make snide comments on them.

I really agree here. It's so unfair to be so judgmental - if you weren't christened then it's probably fair to assume you'd never feel the need to attend church. What's wrong with developing an interest when getting married? Maybe it will mean the OP gets their children christened and starts something new in their family. Even if not, sometimes people aren't religious, but still believe in God and want Him to be an important part of their day.

Everyone is different - I AM religious and attend Church occasionally but have chosen a civil ceremony. It's surely a personal choice that a couple are entitled to make.

mildred1978

I doubt you'd ever see the op or his fiancee's gave anywhere near a church once it's served the purpose of lOoking pretty in their photos.

It's blindingly obvious the op is using the church purely for its appearance.

I'm an atheist but even I balk at this abuse of the church.

Fen1

Why not get married in a mosque or synagogue if you just want a pretty photo? Or is it only Christians that you feel like insulting?