church problems- really disappointed

LEJC

I would phone and explain what happened.....flustrating as it is,if its a church you really like then its best to try and sort out communication problems now...it seems such a shame that you may well lose out on marrying where you want because of something that could be seen as a simple misunderstanding....give them a second chance and hopefully you'll get off on a better footing

Sambucus_Nigra

MaggieBaking wrote: »

Well I think the OP's problem is that they recorded message said that no one was available till December. So it is unlikely that the vicar just fell asleep, just fell ill very quickly that day etc.

To wait for 2 months before you can see someone must mean their busy and organised and I think it's disappointing that they could change the message to say "go away for a couple of weeks" but couldn't ring and contact you to apologise for not making it.

They only have another 2.5 years then to contact the vicar. Panic stations :eek:


[Or they could just speak to her on Sunday].

split_second

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

They only have another 2.5 years then to contact the vicar. Panic stations :eek:


[Or they could just speak to her on Sunday].

we go away on holiday early sunday i.e before we would have gone to church, and our church isnt the sort where you can just speak to the vicar directly (hope that makes sense)

because we are out of the parish area we have to attend for 6 months first (c of e rules) other alternative is to marry at our local church, church we were going to was neighbouring parish area to ours, out of parish weddings are rare there (we have only heard of one since we have gone, and there are lots of weddings there)

Sambucus_Nigra

split_second wrote: »

we go away on holiday early sunday i.e before we would have gone to church, and our church isnt the sort where you can just speak to the vicar directly (hope that makes sense)

because we are out of the parish area we have to attend for 6 months first (c of e rules) other alternative is to marry at our local church, church we were going to was neighbouring parish area to ours, out of parish weddings are rare there (we have only heard of one since we have gone, and there are lots of weddings there)

Erm; in a couple of weeks then?

Seriously; I'm sure sometime in the next 2.5 years you can get to speak to them - don't you?

wanchai_2

Why did you choose this other church, out of curiosity? Is it nicer/more convenient than your 'home' church?

split_second

wanchai wrote: »

Why did you choose this other church, out of curiosity? Is it nicer/more convenient than your 'home' church?

we picked the one that looked nicest

floss2

wanchai wrote: »

Why did you choose this other church, out of curiosity? Is it nicer/more convenient than your 'home' church?

split_second wrote: »

we picked the one that looked nicest

Maybe that is why there are not many out-of-area weddings there.

Seriously, I would go on holiday, stop stressing about it, and make another appointment when you get back. It's not like you have to try and get a certain date next summer, you have got time to wait a little longer.

Or have a look online and see if they have a website, and make contact through there?
Or even make a point of speaking to the rector when you get back from holiday.

BTW, what's so wrong about your local church that you presumably attend already that you don't want to marry there?

mountainofdebt

OH regularly jokes that the church we got married in looks like its in the middle of a bomb crater.

However it was chosen because it was the church I was confirmed in and the family attend so pretty pictures or not, that's the church we were getting married in.

zcrat41

You should really be getting married in a church becuase you have a connection with it or you worship there and you want to make vows in the sight of God. Not beacuse you want a pretty church.

The vicar will know that you have just turned up to get married. If you really want to commit to it thats great and will be welcomed.

split_second

we've been attending for 3 months and the rector knows this.

never been to the local church to be honest, where we live is small and only has 2 c of e churches in the whole town, one of which is the parish church which has their service on a saturday morning (odd i know) and because of my work i have to be saturdays (on my break at the moment)
as stated in a previous post we go on holiday tomorrow so will decide what to do when we get back, i've never been christened or attended church as a child so not got a connection that way