Saving the Date - what to include?

Idiophreak

Torry_Quine wrote: »

If someone sent me something to save the date when the wedding isn't happening until for instance 2013 I wouldn't be rushing to mark it in my diary so that I keep it clear. Have no idea what I will be doing that far ahead and think it very self-centred to assume that I will put your day as my priority. If it falls about the time that I have to take my holidays then sorry but my time away comes first and no amount of advance notice would have made a difference.

...and I'm sure you'll be sadly missed with that attitude.

A save the date card isn't an order. You don't need to obey. You clearly value time with yourself above time with friends and family - good for you. Feel free to ignore the save the date and carry on with your plans as usual.

Most people, however, take joy in seeing friends and family get married and if possible would rather do that *and* take a holiday.

74jax

Torry_Quine wrote: »

If someone sent me something to save the date when the wedding isn't happening until for instance 2013 I wouldn't be rushing to mark it in my diary so that I keep it clear. Have no idea what I will be doing that far ahead and think it very self-centred to assume that I will put your day as my priority. If it falls about the time that I have to take my holidays then sorry but my time away comes first and no amount of advance notice would have made a difference.

I just think it makes little sense to me, then again I don't understand why people have such long engagements!

If I was lucky enough to receive a STD I would mark it in my diary, if anything came up around then I think I would assume I was at my friend's wedding and would try and plan the other for another time.

I don't think it's self-centred to send a STD and hope your friends would mark the date in their diary. Maybe for someone who isn't as close, a work colleague for example, but then I would expect they wouldn't get a STD. I take STD's to be for close family and friends and those who you would love to do just that - Save The Date.

People have long engagements for many reasons, saving money for their wedding is a big reason. SOme people don't understand why people have short engagements, why not enjoy the 'engaged phase a little bit longer'. What other people do is irrelevant to me and I don't judge very often at all. You never know people's circumstances.

wanchai_2

mildred1978 wrote: »

Won't someone please think of the [STRIKE]tacky magnet industry[/STRIKE] economy??!!

mildred1978 wrote: »

My sister works for the Met Police and only has to book her leave 9 months in advance. Most people won't have diaries that cover 2012 yet, never mind 2013!

People could have 2 babies, emigrate or anything in such a long period of time. I think it's ridiculous, personally.

Wow, how rude.

wanchai_2

Torry_Quine wrote: »

If someone sent me something to save the date when the wedding isn't happening until for instance 2013 I wouldn't be rushing to mark it in my diary so that I keep it clear. Have no idea what I will be doing that far ahead and think it very self-centred to assume that I will put your day as my priority. If it falls about the time that I have to take my holidays then sorry but my time away comes first and no amount of advance notice would have made a difference.

I just think it makes little sense to me, then again I don't understand why people have such long engagements!

I hesitate to rebuke *another* post of yours Torry Quine, but really, this is very rude.

Save the dates are very handy - especially for popular dates or summer/Christmas holidays when people might book something else and then be disappointed to miss their friend/niece's wedding. Some of my friends have their summer and autumn 2012 holidays booked already! I, and many others, love receiving save the dates.

As for your snide remark about long engagements, it would be nice if you would just stop criticising everyone else's plans and preferences! As my mother always says: if you can't say anything nice, then dont say anything at all.

wanchai_2

74jax wrote: »

If I was lucky enough to receive a STD I would mark it in my diary, if anything came up around then I think I would assume I was at my friend's wedding and would try and plan the other for another time.

I don't think it's self-centred to send a STD and hope your friends would mark the date in their diary. Maybe for someone who isn't as close, a work colleague for example, but then I would expect they wouldn't get a STD. I take STD's to be for close family and friends and those who you would love to do just that - Save The Date.

People have long engagements for many reasons, saving money for their wedding is a big reason. SOme people don't understand why people have short engagements, why not enjoy the 'engaged phase a little bit longer'. What other people do is irrelevant to me and I don't judge very often at all. You never know people's circumstances.

Idiophreak wrote: »

...and I'm sure you'll be sadly missed with that attitude.

A save the date card isn't an order. You don't need to obey. You clearly value time with yourself above time with friends and family - good for you. Feel free to ignore the save the date and carry on with your plans as usual.

Most people, however, take joy in seeing friends and family get married and if possible would rather do that *and* take a holiday.

Well said, both of you. :T


To the OP - I would probably just send them to the day guests as well, just to avoid confusion/embarrassment.

Torry_Quine

Idiophreak wrote: »

...and I'm sure you'll be sadly missed with that attitude.

A save the date card isn't an order. You don't need to obey. You clearly value time with yourself above time with friends and family - good for you. Feel free to ignore the save the date and carry on with your plans as usual.

Most people, however, take joy in seeing friends and family get married and if possible would rather do that *and* take a holiday.

I do enjoy being asked to see someone close to me get married and I feel very honoured to be invited.

74jax wrote: »

If I was lucky enough to receive a STD I would mark it in my diary, if anything came up around then I think I would assume I was at my friend's wedding and would try and plan the other for another time.

I don't think it's self-centred to send a STD and hope your friends would mark the date in their diary. Maybe for someone who isn't as close, a work colleague for example, but then I would expect they wouldn't get a STD. I take STD's to be for close family and friends and those who you would love to do just that - Save The Date.

People have long engagements for many reasons, saving money for their wedding is a big reason. SOme people don't understand why people have short engagements, why not enjoy the 'engaged phase a little bit longer'. What other people do is irrelevant to me and I don't judge very often at all. You never know people's circumstances.

True I don't know people's circumstances but then again you don't know mine.

To me when I got engaged I wanted to be married to be able to start living with the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. To me the wedding comes at the start of the relationship not somewhere down the road when it is affordable.

If I'm important enough that you want to ensure I'll be available then tell me personally.

wanchai wrote: »

I hesitate to rebuke *another* post of yours Torry Quine, but really, this is very rude.

Save the dates are very handy - especially for popular dates or summer/Christmas holidays when people might book something else and then be disappointed to miss their friend/niece's wedding. Some of my friends have their summer and autumn 2012 holidays booked already! I, and many others, love receiving save the dates.

As for your snide remark about long engagements, it would be nice if you would just stop criticising everyone else's plans and preferences! As my mother always says: if you can't say anything nice, then dont say anything at all.

I see you managed to get over your hesitation.

Maybe it's a generational thing.

I have never booked anything that far ahead or been asked to keep a date free far less received a 'save the date'

I wasn't being snide about long engagements, to me the thought of waiting for several years to begin my new life would have been total anathema.

If you see it as criticism that says more about you. Many on here are constantly trying to save money and this just adds extra expense which in my opinion isn't needed.




My apologies if I've upset or annoyed anyone but to me a wedding is a very special event to mark the start of your life together.

stir_crazy

We're just sending to day guests too. Our wedding happens to fall in the tattie holidays next year so a couple of our friends were worried about booking their holidays then, since they dont want to miss it. We will be sending them out with our Xmas cards to save on postage, so it probably is a little bit early. But its a nice way to let people know when it is (and let them share my excitement!!!!)

Ours are like a business card (from Vista print) and just say:
Bride and Groom are getting married,
Date
Place
Invitation to follow.

74jax

Torry_Quine wrote: »

True I don't know people's circumstances but then again you don't know mine. I'm a bit confused as I haven't asked about yours?

To me when I got engaged I wanted to be married to be able to start living with the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. To me the wedding comes at the start of the relationship not somewhere down the road when it is affordable. But just because someone doesn't agree with you, I don't think it's right to say it's ridiculous

If I'm important enough that you want to ensure I'll be available then tell me personally. I am sure the OP will be, but wants to enjoy the excitement just that little bit longer. I as a friend would love the reminder of my friend's special day, whether it be a card, a magnet or whatever


If you see it as criticism that says more about you. It was the tone in which some of your messages comes through, it isn't just one person who has picked up on it Many on here are constantly trying to save money and this just adds extra expense which in my opinion isn't needed.
I think there's a difference between 'saving money' and not spending money. To YOU it is an expense that isn't needed. To the OP, it is something she wants to do.

My apologies if I've upset or annoyed anyone but to me a wedding is a very special event to mark the start of your life together.

Everyone on here will agree with your last comment, I'm sure.

wanchai_2

My replies are in pink.

Torry_Quine wrote: »

I do enjoy being asked to see someone close to me get married and I feel very honoured to be invited.

True I don't know people's circumstances but then again you don't know mine. - what on earth do you mean?

To me when I got engaged I wanted to be married to be able to start living with the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. To me the wedding comes at the start of the relationship not somewhere down the road when it is affordable. - at the start of the relationship????

If I'm important enough that you want to ensure I'll be available then tell me personally. - but you still wouldn't change your holiday dates to go?


I see you managed to get over your hesitation. - yes, I felt that it needed to be said tbh...

Maybe it's a generational thing. - I don't even know your age but you presume to know mine/everyone else's :huh:

I have never booked anything that far ahead or been asked to keep a date free far less received a 'save the date'

I wasn't being snide about long engagements, to me the thought of waiting for several years to begin my new life would have been total anathema. - yes, TO YOU. I am only having a year-long engagement as that's what we want. Others prefer longer engagements (or have to save up). None of us has the right to criticise others for their choices. Same goes for the 'thank you cards' thread.

If you see it as criticism that says more about you. - what a strange comment.

Many on here are constantly trying to save money and this just adds extra expense which in my opinion isn't needed. - sorry, but this is a very weak justification. Save the dates are very cheap and a bit of fun and, if people want to send them, that is up to them. The OP wasn't asking if she could *afford* them.

My apologies if I've upset or annoyed anyone but to me a wedding is a very special event to mark the start of your life together. - well, at least we agree on something :rotfl:

sugarwalsh

Goodness, these STD cards really do get everyone riled up! OP - I simply sent out an email/text/asked close family if a certian date was suitable. Then when we found an agreeable date I emailed out to the others who are coming in the day to save the date. After that I emailed the evening ones. I just put something along the lines of - "We are getting married (At LONG last) and we would love you to join us on (date) for the evening/day. A formal invite will be sent out soon."

Everyone replied with a big whoop (Cyber one, obviously!) and if they asked questions. I have kept them upto date with plans - so people can book accommodation etc as obviously they can get better deals the sooner they book. I have found it the easiest way to contact people and although it may seem non-traditional I don't think anyone would expect us to be! The invites are on order and will be sent out as soon as they arrive with more details (Menu for choices etc).

OP, if you want to send out STD cards then do, just be prepared for questions. Or indeed, no reply at all, as some of the future brides have found on here!

MEgan