Sat here in tears at the thought of work...

DCFC79

Can i just ask but why do bullies bully in the workplace, everyones adults so why act like they're at school in the playground.

OP I cant offer any advice except i hope you get something sorted.

ohreally

The behaviour is unlikely to stop for no apparent reason, you may have to take affirmative action - are you prepared to take the step?

You have identified and documented - there is little point in building a case if you are reluctant to go the final mile. Do you have access to tade union support?

nottslass_2

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

So, what are you going to do about it? My regular answer to this is to take out your notebook each time, look at your watch and make a detailed note about each and every incident. When asked, simply state that you have been advised to record 'each incident' and say nothing more. Then, once you have a selection of recorded incidents you will be in a situation to put a grievance in.

Have you ever asked her not to speak to you like that?

I've actually done that (made detailed notes) but I'm under no illusion that the S*it would hit the fan and things could actually get worse.

I work for a large public sector organisation and although their is a bullying and harassment policy and I know that I really should bring a grievance, I feel so beaten down by the whole situation and scared that things will be turned round onto me and I'll be the one who's made out to be petty.

dandelionclock30

What do you think the best way forward is for yourself?

whitewing

The trouble with writing it all down is that it makes you notice it and think about it. I'm not saying that you shouldn't write it down as the instances you describe are unfair. Could your union help you become more robust in dealing with these kind of situations or offer you counselling or assertiveness training (even if you are normally perfectly okay, there is always someone who can make one feel less assertive than normal).

System

nottslass wrote: »

The thing is I dont really think that she is a "serial bully" as such,I just think that she dislikes me & is using her power to her advantage........... I have what is 'erm described as a strong personality and I know my job like the back of my hand and I think that she may find this threatening - although she has no reason to feel like that.

I was the exact same, I knew my job like the back of my hand, while the supervisor on the other hand his only real knowledge was how to successfully suck up to the boss, I bet she feels threatened by you.

Sambucus_Nigra

nottslass wrote: »

I've actually done that (made detailed notes) but I'm under no illusion that the S*it would hit the fan and things could actually get worse.

I work for a large public sector organisation and although their is a bullying and harassment policy and I know that I really should bring a grievance, I feel so beaten down by the whole situation and scared that things will be turned round onto me and I'll be the one who's made out to be petty.

Have you done it in front of her? And have you asked her why she is like this to you?

SevenOfNine

It still isn't 100% clear whether you ARE a union member or not. I appreciate you said you've spoken with the union rep but they wouldn't step in until you've raised a grievance, which seems more than a bit dismissive if you're a member.

Sorry, but assuming you are a member you need to insist they help you with the grievance and then any fall-out that arises from it. You need emotional support with this and they cannot take your fees but expect you to get on with this alone.

Find out who the branch secretary is, make an appointment and explain everything to them. It may be that you've just got a useless rep - I was a member of UNISON with a rep who was a useful as a chocolate teapot.

Good luck

nottslass_2

ohreally wrote: »

The behaviour is unlikely to stop for no apparent reason, you may have to take affirmative action - are you prepared to take the step?

You have identified and documented - there is little point in building a case if you are reluctant to go the final mile. Do you have access to tade union support?

I'm in the union - I really think that I need to get a grip and do something proactive - Just a shame its easier said than done.lol


Thanks for the support - I feel slightly less alone (and pathetic) now:)

Annisele

I absolutely agree that you should be speaking to your union rep about this.

However, I think it might also help if you try to be crystal clear in all of your communications with her - which is likely to mean leaving out all the polite little phrases like "if possible", "if you wouldn't mind", "if it's convenient", and saying as little to her as you can get away with. The less you say, the harder it is for her to play the "I misunderstood" card.

That is a strategy that could backfire - but so long as you're professional and polite, it sounds unlikely that it'll make things worse than they are already.