Sat here in tears at the thought of work...

nottslass_2

I've been bullied by my supervisor for about two years now,but unfortunately its the drip,drip sort and so hard to prove and in any case even if I did go higher and put in a grievance she's blackened my name with the department manager who thinks she can do no wrong...........

I had a (yet another)job interview today and they've just phoned me to tell me I've been unsuccessful and now I'm sat here pathetically snivelling at the thought of having to face work tomorrow,I can't sleep at night and seem to spend all week with my stomach churning waiting for the next dig...............

I've been keeping a diary of the incidents,but I've been so ground down by it all I really haven;t got any strength left to do anything with it............

Pathetic aren't I ?

Rant over

Reggie_Rebel

Not pathetic at all. Bullies thrive on getting this sort of reaction.

Away from the work place I'd advise you to give her a slap, but that may not be the best career move.

You are getting interviews which is good, perhaps the pressure of needing a new job is leading to you not giving the best impression during them. hard I know, but try to relax and even convince yourself that you don't want the next job you interview for. You'll probably get it and then you can think about that slap.

System

I've suffered this so I can relate, I remember weekends were ruined with the thought of going back to work, holidays again couldn't be enjoyed as the though of that was always at the back of my mind, I was in the exact same position as you, it was my supervisor who was the bully and again the boss thought he could do no wrong, to be fair the guy didn't set out to make my life hell but he did, at the start I had to get put on anti depressants as I just hated life due to him. I don't really know what changed to be honest, things at the moment still aren't great but I can have a conversation with the guy now, he doesn't bother me any more, I think he just got bored and moved on to the new guys.

dandelionclock30

Could you ask to have an informal meeting with her with her boss present and just say how you feel? She might not be aware that she is grinding you down. you could highlight why you have been upset and say what you want her to stop.
Could you ask your union rep for some support?
If you dont do anything it is unlikley to get any better.

nottslass_2

dandelionclock30 wrote: »

Could you ask to have an informal meeting with her with her boss present and just say how you feel? She might not be aware that she is grinding you down. you could highlight why you have been upset and say what you want her to stop.
Could you ask your union rep for some support?
If you dont do anything it is unlikley to get any better.

I've thought of that but her boss thinks she can do no wrong and I know that I'll be made to look petty and unreasonable ,or she'll have a "reasonable" explanation for certain things she's done.

I've spoken to the union rep,but unfortunately they said that they wont step in until I've made a grievance

The latest thing was allocation of AL over the xmas period - everyone else had all their requests granted,except me !!
She sent a email asking for xmas AL requests, I replied 19 min later with my request,a week later everyone received an email saying that it had all been allocated and hey presto everyone else got theirs except me - the excuse being that it was on a first come first served basis and mine apparently didn't constitute a request because I put "I'd like xyz off,if possible"

nottslass_2

nirelandguy wrote: »

I've suffered this so I can relate, I remember weekends were ruined with the thought of going back to work, holidays again couldn't be enjoyed as the though of that was always at the back of my mind, I was in the exact same position as you, it was my supervisor who was the bully and again the boss thought he could do no wrong, to be fair the guy didn't set out to make my life hell but he did, at the start I had to get put on anti depressants as I just hated life due to him. I don't really know what changed to be honest, things at the moment still aren't great but I can have a conversation with the guy now, he doesn't bother me any more, I think he just got bored and moved on to the new guys.

The thing is I dont really think that she is a "serial bully" as such,I just think that she dislikes me & is using her power to her advantage........... I have what is 'erm described as a strong personality and I know my job like the back of my hand and I think that she may find this threatening - although she has no reason to feel like that.

Sambucus_Nigra

nottslass wrote: »

The latest thing was allocation of AL over the xmas period - everyone else had all their requests granted,except me !!
She sent a email asking for xmas AL requests, I replied 19 min later with my request,a week later everyone received an email saying that it had all been allocated and hey presto everyone else got theirs except me - the excuse being that it was on a first come first served basis and mine apparently didn't constitute a request because I put "I'd like xyz off,if possible"

I think you might well be giving her an 'out', even though you are just being polite...

What other instances are there?

dandelionclock30

Where I used to work the same 4 people got the annual leave the days between Christmas and New Year, year in year out.They used to book it when the new diary came out each year.Nobody elce got a look in.!
Even if her line manager didnt listen to you in a meeting, your concerns would be documented and it would be the start of a process.Unions are there for informal mediation as well as grievances, phone them and tell them you want their support because this is what you pay you fees for.If not ask to speak to the branch secretary, they will get someone to support you if you threaten to complain.
If you do nothing then nothing will change.Say what you think the problem is and what you want to change.Also look for another job.

nottslass_2

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

I think you might well be giving her an 'out', even though you are just being polite...

What other instances are there?

Exactlly......




Other instances include :
We have 2 telephone lines in the office,Line A is put through to line B so only one phone rings and has done so for at least the last 3 years.

Due to an incident the other morning my Line manager asked me why Phone A didn't ring I explained that it hasn't done for years.

I was then informed that she'd changed the policy last year and both phones should now be on.
I explained that I wasn't aware of this because I'd been on maternity leave for most of 2010. She then proceeded to argue that she'd made everyone aware,again I told her that I hadn't been told .
Anyway to cut a long story short she proceeded to tell me reprimand me for not having the phone switched on (which I have no problem with) BUT This happened in a public area and a patient who came up to the desk whilst she was speaking to me actually commented "well that told you"

Other incidents include:

Being denied the option of taking AL when my child was ill instead I was told by her I'd have to take the time unpaid - Although She allow others to take AL in the same circumstances.

Being told (again in a public area in front of others) that my working hours may have to be changed - I explained that I wouldn't be able to do this and she demanded to know why and I had to explain that my childcare arrangements were inflexible. Her only answer was "that the needs of the service" may require you to.


Last year She sent Every other team member an Xmas card except me. (petty,i know)


I was sent on a training session last week. There were 3 sessions running daily each lasting for 2 hrs,only she sent me on on that ran from 11 .45 till 2.15 leaving me to work over 6 hours with out a break.I don't have a problem with this as such but it was totally avoidable and I could have quite easily have attended the morning or afternoon one.

There are other petty incidents which have resulted in other staff members commenting on the way she speaks to me and someones actual words were " the way she speaks to you makes it so obvious that she doesn't like you

Sambucus_Nigra

So, what are you going to do about it? My regular answer to this is to take out your notebook each time, look at your watch and make a detailed note about each and every incident. When asked, simply state that you have been advised to record 'each incident' and say nothing more. Then, once you have a selection of recorded incidents you will be in a situation to put a grievance in.

Have you ever asked her not to speak to you like that?

mandyc

I was a Bullying & Harrassment Advisor in a large educational institution.

The first thing I would do is ask HR if they have a Bullying & Harrassment Policy. This will help you with your next step.

If they don't have such a policy I think the Union is your only hope of support. Your pay your Union dues so they should be their to help you.