Help with a friends problem

coin_operated_girl

Kay_Peel wrote: »

A few questions for you, to help me get my head around the facts....

Did this happen at her Dad's, when she was in the house?
Did she witness anything before, during or immediately after the incident?
Or has she been told, second-hand, about her father?
Has she spoken to her Dad about it, and what did he say?
Does she know the woman involved?


Thank you!

Sorry for the incredibly vague post. Its only so vague because thats all I know really. I know though that my friend saw the woman crying. As it was at 3:30am I'm guessing it was at the dads house.

crazyguy wrote: »

Drink = problems so could easy be a misconstued action then again could be more. the word rape being used could cause no end of problems if indeed they were both drunk and he had made a pass at her it still does not amount to rape.

Yeah, I'm very wary of this. I don't really want to bring it up unless my friend does but its difficult because I only know part of the story.

Not really sure why I posted I know you guys can't really offer me advice without knowing the full story. I don't know whether to keep asking her questions or to just say that I'm here if she wants to talk about it.

crazyguy

coin_operated_girl wrote: »

Sorry for the incredibly vague post. Its only so vague because thats all I know really. I know though that my friend saw the woman crying. As it was at 3:30am I'm guessing it was at the dads house.



Yeah, I'm very wary of this. I don't really want to bring it up unless my friend does but its difficult because I only know part of the story.

Not really sure why I posted I know you guys can't really offer me advice without knowing the full story. I don't know whether to keep asking her questions or to just say that I'm here if she wants to talk about it.

I was not saying to have a go at you just people should be very aware of how this is put.

coin_operated_girl

newcook wrote: »

so your mate left a woman (who is the same age as you both) sobbing in the house after a man old enough to be her father 'tried to f!ck her' and didnt check to see if she was ok before she left?!!?
nice mate! good to know that she will help someone out in a crisis

Erm, I just said I don't know what happened to the woman. For all you and I know my friend could have seen her crying asked her what happened (how else would she know her dad tried it on with the woman and that the woman wasn't up for it etc- I doubt the dad would have said that stuff), called the womans husband and then left after the woman had been picked up.

Then again maybe not. The point is you don't know so maybe you shouldn't post nasty comments when you have no idea.

Any

coin_operated_girl wrote: »

.

Not really sure why I posted I know you guys can't really offer me advice without knowing the full story. I don't know whether to keep asking her questions or to just say that I'm here if she wants to talk about it.

I think that is the best you can do for now.

newcook

coin_operated_girl wrote: »

Erm, I just said I don't know what happened to the woman. For all you and I know my friend could have seen her crying asked her what happened (how else would she know her dad tried it on with the woman and that the woman wasn't up for it etc- I doubt the dad would have said that stuff), called the womans husband and then left after the woman had been picked up.

Then again maybe not. The point is you don't know so maybe you shouldn't post nasty comments when you have no idea.

erm, then maybe you should ask your mate her side of what has happened instead of a sketchy/vague post.
even in your comment above you are guessing - if it was me I would be asking my mate what the hell has gone on, why she chose to leave the house, if she spoke to the girl, and more importantly if she was ok.

coin_operated_girl

Thats why I'm posting though...I don't really know what to do. I just asked her if its possible this whole thing has been blown out of proportion and she said she doesn't think so. Thats all she said. It sort of seems like she doesn't want to talk about it now because she is just giving really short answers so I'm not sure whether to keep pushing her or whether that's insensitive and I should just wait to see if she wants to talk about it. But I can't help but feel involved now, I mean what if her dad did actually do something? I can't just turn a blind eye to that.

newcook

as you are all the same sort of age did you go to the same school or do you know her?! do you know her enough to ask her if she is ok after the other night?

coin_operated_girl

Oh, that didn't even occur to me to be honest. I don't know who the person is, I didn't ask, but we grew up in quite a small village (her dad still lives there) so there's a real possibility that I do know her. I'll see if I can find out who it is and maybe get her side of the story.

BitterAndTwisted

Even if the dad did do something, you weren't there so you're not a witness to anything. It's up to your pal to decide what, if anything, she wants to do about it. All you can be expected to do is offer moral support to your friend if that's what you and they want.

I suspect it'll all turn out to be a storm on a teacup. Someone else's teacup at that.

coin_operated_girl

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

I suspect it'll all turn out to be a storm on a teacup. Someone else's teacup at that.

I'm sure you're probably right to be honest. I'm just not very good at this type of thing so I didn't know what to do/say.