Help with a friends problem

coin_operated_girl

Ok so this is a bit of a weird situation that I've never been in before...

My friend text me about 3:30am this morning to tell me that her dad tried to f**k someone who is the same age as us (24 years old) and she is now crying on the floor (in their house I assume, she lives with her dad) and that she doesn't know what to do. I didn't get the text until I woke up so I asked her what she did and she said she got her bro to drive her to her boyfriends house and she doesn't know what she is supposed to do now. She said that the woman (who is married) wasn't up for it at all and she doesn't know how far it went but the woman was crying her eyes out. So I mean obviously this person is an adult and everything but it sort of sounds like...well, you know what it sounds like.

I have no idea what to say to her or what to suggest. Should I suggest she stays at her boyfriends for a bit (she is still there atm)? Or to go home to talk to her dad? I'm trying to help her, but quite frankly I haven't a clue as to what I should say.

I'm willing to bet that alcohol was involved (her dad goes down the pub A LOT), so maybe its just all be blown out of proportion and he tried it on and she got freaked out and started making a scene. On the other hand, it could be a lot more serious.

neneromanova

If this is referring to rape, I would report the father to the police no questions asked! Father or not, that is just not acceptable! That's if the poor woman hasn't done it already.

newcook

sorry but Im a bit confused - did your friend's boyfriend drive your friend and this woman to her boyfriends house?

Kay_Peel

A few questions for you, to help me get my head around the facts....

Did this happen at her Dad's, when she was in the house?
Did she witness anything before, during or immediately after the incident?
Or has she been told, second-hand, about her father?
Has she spoken to her Dad about it, and what did he say?
Does she know the woman involved?


Thank you!

crazyguy

Drink = problems so could easy be a misconstued action then again could be more. the word rape being used could cause no end of problems if indeed they were both drunk and he had made a pass at her it still does not amount to rape.

coin_operated_girl

neneromanova wrote: »

If this is referring to rape, I would report the father to the police no questions asked! Father or not, that is just not acceptable! That's if the poor woman hasn't done it already.

I agree. I guess thats the thing though, my friend said she doesn't know how far it went.

newcook wrote: »

sorry but Im a bit confused - did your friend's boyfriend drive your friend and this woman to her boyfriends house?

Sorry, my friends brother drove her to her boyfriends house. I don't know what happened to the woman.

neneromanova

coin_operated_girl wrote: »

I agree. I guess thats the thing though, my friend said she doesn't know how far it went.

Wouldn't matter to me. I would still report it. Attempted rape is nearly as bad as actual rape.

Welshwoofs

coin_operated_girl wrote: »

I agree. I guess thats the thing though, my friend said she doesn't know how far it went.

Then the fact is that she shouldn't report it to the police because she has no idea what happened. If all she saw was a woman in tears, she can't come to any conclusions. If something did happen that she didn't see, then it's down to the victim to report since only she would know if there was an actual problem

Best thing she can do is go home and talk it out with the Father, tell her what she did see/hear and give him an opportunity to explain. Jumping to conclusions PLUS lack of communication could end up with a badly ruptured Father/Daughter relationship.

newcook

so your mate left a woman (who is the same age as you both) sobbing in the house after a man old enough to be her father 'tried to f!ck her' and didnt check to see if she was ok before she left?!!?
nice mate! good to know that she will help someone out in a crisis

scheming_gypsy

you can't do anything till you know what happened. He's obviously picked her up from somewhere and she's gone back to his for some reason; so he's either tried it on and gone a bit too far or she's changed her mind and got upset.

Till you know what's actually happened, you can't help

Any

Completely agree with Welshwoofs.
As it is it seems it's completely blown out of proportion already!!

Or was there violence, apart from tears?

What does the woman's age being daughters age have to do with anything?
I take it this woman was in dad's house? She might have gone there completely voluntarily, wanted a bit of fun under influence and then when disturbed realised she has done something she shouldn't.

She is 24, an adult. The fact that she is the same age as you and your friend OP has NOTHING to do with anything, maybe they both wanted it, maybe they were both drunk, maybe they just got disturbed by your friend and then realised what are they doing... Someone seems to be jumping to all sorts of conclusions here!!!!

No advice, apart from calm the hell down and speak to dad.