What to do? Impossible position

Seanymph

I would suggest that the friend tell the SIL if they feel strongly about it.

Don't take on responsibility for this information - leave it with the chap who know about it.

cobbingstones

Why doesn't the friend tell your SIL???

Mojisola

bryanb wrote: »

Keep out, they usually shoot the messenger.

meritaten wrote: »

If my SIL knew my OH was cheating on me and didnt tell me.........I wouldnt trust her again because I would think she was part of the conspiracy (for want of a better word).

Yes, you are between a rock and a hard place - and if I was a real friend I wouldnt have put you in that position!

This is the dilemma - stay out of it in case you lose the friendship or lose the friendship when the SIL eventually finds out that you knew and didn't tell her.

When a relative's wife left him, he was deeply hurt by the knowledge that most of their friends had known about her affair but no-one had told him.

The mutual "friend" is being a coward, telling you and hoping that you will pass on the information.

RadoJo

To be honest, whilst I can completely appreciate the point of view that says 'stay out of it - they'll shoot the messenger' there are certain situations where not doing anything is actually protecting the one who's in the wrong. I agree that it might be worth either telling the BIL that people are talking or telling your SIL that other people have their suspicions, and although there's nothing definite to go on you didn't want her to think that you had allowed people to discuss her relationship without telling her what you knew. That way, you have been honest, but not exacerbated the situation.

NAR

I'm in the camp for telling BIL that one of his fellow travellers is telling tales about him behind his back and let BIL decide what to do with the info.
Definitely don't get more directly involved by carrying tales to SIL, true or not.