Best way to ask for honeymoon money?

LEJC

I agree with Minerva...I felt awful asking for something even when people asked specifically what we wanted...so the idea of assuming by writing it into the invites was a no for me...but if you are comfortable with doing that then you know your guests best...

lots of couples do wait to be asked if there is a list or what would you like...as a guest ive never attended a wedding without giving a gift or voucher even to thosr who have said its you being there that matters more than a gift!...never given cash yet though but its getting more popular and I think if its gong to a specific thing like your honeymoon you could indeed split it down to show that a contribution of £x will buy you a meal in Y resturant or allow you to visit z place on a trip...that way your guests may feel that they have bought you something other than perhaps contributing to something that was vaguely termed "the honeymoon"

Idiophreak

lovecake wrote: »

You could set up a honeymoon gift list - that way people know what they are actually paying for - like a bottle of chamoagne at the hotel, or a dinner at a particular restaurant, or a tour or excursion etc. Although you don't have to use the money for that specific thing in the end, at least people feel as though they are contributing to something specific. There are a few different sites that offer this service and prices vary, but it might be worth looking? I was thinking about doing this myself so I'll let you know if I come across a good site. Xx

I looked into doing this, but couldn't bring myself to do it. The "best value" of these sites take something like 9% of your cash for the privilege of collecting it, which just seemed like a waste of our guests' money. In the end, I set up a free wedding site on gettingmarried.co.uk and added a page on there about gifts. I said "we don't want gifts, but if you'd like to give us something, here's a list of things we'll do on honeymoon if you'd like to contribute..." then just put a list of the things we'd planned. That way people could feel like they'd contributed to a certain thing if they wanted, but we still got to keep all the cash.

We just put a link to our wedding site on the invitation so people could find out about this stuff indirectly without us having to write it in the invite. Seemed to work pretty well.

(we also sent photos of us doing the things specified as part of the thank you card, to tie it together)

Jewelleryfan

sugarwalsh wrote: »

Beware the post box, I recently heard of a situation where someone had taken a lucky dip in one. The bride had to ask some close friends if they had given a card as there seemed to be quite a lot missing. She was mortified at having to ask.
We are asking for money and plan to pop a small line about it along with the menu choices and hotel info. The emphasis is very much ion people coming to join us and have a good time, not on giving gifts.
Megan

That's what we were planning on doing, in with their choices of food, taxi numbers, hotels etc. Something just saying ad we already live together we won't be having a traditional gift list but if you would still like to contribute then we would appreciate a donation to out honeymoon fund - something like that

lovecake

...Also I personally think it is far more helpful to ask your guests for something rather than give them no ideas. I don't find it cheeky at all (just my personal opinion). I've been to a few weddings where gifts were not mentioned on the invite and it was so stressful to try and find something for them when we had no idea what they want or need! Not everyone will feel comfortable enough to call you or another family member to ask what you want!

As a guest I would much rather have some idea of what the bride and groom would like rather than having to call and say 'erm...what would you like?' Cringe! I think, as long as you make it clear that having them at your wedding is all you want, but if they do want to get you something then a contribution to you being able to have a special honeymoon would be greatly appreciated.

It also depends on your guests as well - The majority of our wedding will be young-ish and we know they wouldn't be offended by the suggestion of money as a gift and as for those that are older and might expect a more conventional gift list, we are close enough to them to talk to them and tell them why we have made that choice. Although to be honest I can't think of anyone that would find it cheeky or be offended at all that I have on my guestlist. Xx

Jewelleryfan

That's a really gold idea about the website and writing a list of things we want to do, I'm sure once we decide on a destination we could come up with some activities to put or upgrade on plane etc

lisajane8482

I've been to three weddings recently where they put a little poem in with the invite one asking for argos/ASDA vouchers, the other two asking for money for their honey moon (I know I still have one so I shall dig it out tonight and put it on for you). Personally I didn't find it cheeky as they had all set up home together and I would personally prefer to give them a gift that they appreciate more.

Mind I generally give money anyway unless they have specifically set up a gift list.

lovecake

Idiophreak wrote: »

I looked into doing this, but couldn't bring myself to do it. The "best value" of these sites take something like 9% of your cash for the privilege of collecting it, which just seemed like a waste of our guests' money. In the end, I set up a free wedding site on gettingmarried.co.uk and added a page on there about gifts. I said "we don't want gifts, but if you'd like to give us something, here's a list of things we'll do on honeymoon if you'd like to contribute..." then just put a list of the things we'd planned. That way people could feel like they'd contributed to a certain thing if they wanted, but we still got to keep all the cash.

We just put a link to our wedding site on the invitation so people could find out about this stuff indirectly without us having to write it in the invite. Seemed to work pretty well.

(we also sent photos of us doing the things specified as part of the thank you card, to tie it together)

Thanks Idiophreak! I haven't done much research into it - it sounded like a good idea, but 9% is a lot! A wedding website is a good idea - I'll need to find someone techy to help! Was it easy to do?

kmmr

This is a serious can of worms on this forum, so be aware! There are loooong long threads arguing about this. Wait til you ask questions like 'should I have chair covers' or the highly controversial 'open bar or not!'

But putting that aside, we did the honeymoon gift list online thing. I was fairly anti it to be honest, but actually we got very good feedback. We made sure we did each thing we listed (although we had already booked things before we made the list) and took photos each time. Just sent out all out thank you cards, each with a picture of their gift. Like us having dinner somewhere, or champagne, or spotting an elephant, or seeing going on a tour of a massai village etc etc.

One of my friends was recently at a wedding where at midnight the groom started opening up all the cards and using the cash to pay the band. I think the guests were a bit unimpresesd...

kmmr

i went to another site. It was £50, with no charges on the money given. All done through paypal, credit card, or guests could tick 'pay on the day'. It looked fantastic. I'd rather not link to it, but I'll send you a PM.

lovecake

kmmr wrote: »

i went to another site. It was £50, with no charges on the money given. All done through paypal, credit card, or guests could tick 'pay on the day'. It looked fantastic. I'd rather not link to it, but I'll send you a PM.

A can of worms indeed :rotfl:! I don't think it's worth arguing over as all weddings, couples and guests are different so it really depends on what you and your family feel is appropriate.

Could you PM me the link to that site too please! Xx