Best way to ask for honeymoon money?

Jewelleryfan

Hi everyone

I wanted to get your advice/help on asking guests for a donation of cash to go towards our honeymoon. The reasons being we have everything for our home and we don't have the money for a honeymoon so this seemed like a good idea.

Friends of ours have done it different ways, one MADD up a poem asking for a donation and the other gave out a travel agent details and we phoned and paid it to the company.

We didn't want to go through Thomas cook etc as we could book it cheaper online so that idea wouldn't work but the poem as quite nice.

My other concern is having all that money in the receiving box and it going missing etc, I'm sure it won't but I'm a worrier plus I've been looking into wedding insurance and most don't cover cash or if they do its only about £200.
Would it be better to ask for a cheque in our name or does that seem too cheeky?
I have no idea whats the correct way to do it
Thanks

74jax

Jewelleryfan wrote: »

Hi everyone

I wanted to get your advice/help on asking guests for a donation of cash to go towards our honeymoon. The reasons being we have everything for our home and we don't have the money for a honeymoon so this seemed like a good idea.

Friends of ours have done it different ways, one MADD up a poem asking for a donation and the other gave out a travel agent details and we phoned and paid it to the company.

We didn't want to go through Thomas cook etc as we could book it cheaper online so that idea wouldn't work but the poem as quite nice.

My other concern is having all that money in the receiving box and it going missing etc, I'm sure it won't but I'm a worrier plus I've been looking into wedding insurance and most don't cover cash or if they do its only about £200.
Would it be better to ask for a cheque in our name or does that seem too cheeky?
I have no idea whats the correct way to do it
Thanks

I have heard of people going to the wedding post box and it have been taken away - completely disappeared and everything inside it lost. I would have it in very conspicuous place and have the best man empty it regularly.

As for asking regarding the money, I would wait until someone asked you if you had a gift list I would mention it to them then. Is the only way you can go on honeymoon via your money-gifts? because how would you know how much to spend, if the money coming in doesn't cover the cost of the honeymoon would that still be ok? Just don't leave yourself short.

Jewelleryfan

That would just be awful if it went missing!!
Due to our jobs we were going to book a last minute honeymoon after the wedding when we have the donations or pay we the difference, we can afford a certain amount but were not going to spend alot on our honeymoon so it should work out ok. Quite a few people know already as we were going to have the traditional Greek pinning money on our outfits but were not doing that now, most people know we don't have a guest list etc.

74jax

I know, it was on a thread in here. Apparently it did get found and was a member of the hotel's bar staff....... I think wedding post boxes are lovely and a nice way too collect the card that people bring to a wedding, but I will certainly be making sure it is emptied regularly.

minerva_windsong

Be aware that you may be opening up a can of worms with this one - people have very different opinions on asking for money/gift lists etc.

I personally would not do the poem and would not say anything unless people asked (let your/your OH's parents know this is what you're doing as older relatives in particular may be likely to ask your parents rather than ask you directly), and then say, "Well we've got everything for our house so we don't really need anything, but if you'd like to get us something then a contribution towards a really special honeymoon would be greatly appreciated." And afterwards maybe write to them and tell them what you used the money for if it was anything particularly special like flight upgrades, a posh hotel, a special day trip, a nice meal etc.

Jewelleryfan

My friends put the information in their invitations, just saying they live together but if you would like to make a donation call ... etc. I'd this a bad idea then? Should you wait until they ask what you want or tell them before? If people don't know then won't we get presents that we didn't ask for or might not use etc?

minerva_windsong

Jewelleryfan wrote: »

My friends put the information in their invitations, just saying they live together but if you would like to make a donation call ... etc. I'd this a bad idea then? Should you wait until they ask what you want or tell them before? If people don't know then won't we get presents that we didn't ask for or might not use etc?

It's entirely personal preference so do whatever you want - I'm just saying that if it was me I wouldn't say anything, because I would personally feel a bit cheeky asking for something whether it was gifts or money, but don't let my opinion stop you if you want to do it. Neither of my sisters put their wedding list information on the invites and the overwhelming majority of people phoned either them or my mum to ask what they wanted. Some people did buy 'off-list' presents and they also got quite a few vouchers for the likes of John Lewis, but by and large people gave them what they wanted.

It may be worth having a small list of things you might like - it doesn't necessarily have to be house stuff or anything practical, Amazon now do a wedding list where you can add things off pretty much every shopping website - just in case anyone does want to give you a physical present. And, whilst I shouldn't condone this, if you get something you really really can't stand or will never use, there's always eBay...

lovecake

You could set up a honeymoon gift list - that way people know what they are actually paying for - like a bottle of chamoagne at the hotel, or a dinner at a particular restaurant, or a tour or excursion etc. Although you don't have to use the money for that specific thing in the end, at least people feel as though they are contributing to something specific. There are a few different sites that offer this service and prices vary, but it might be worth looking? I was thinking about doing this myself so I'll let you know if I come across a good site. Xx

Jewelleryfan

Lol that's true!

There seems to be so many options and everyone has a different view/opinion so it's difficult trying to figure out what's best. It has come up in general conversation with most people that we wouldn't have a list etc so I don't think they would be too shocked to find a honeymoon note in their invitation. I will wait to see what people say as we started telling other people and sending out save the dates

sugarwalsh

Beware the post box, I recently heard of a situation where someone had taken a lucky dip in one. The bride had to ask some close friends if they had given a card as there seemed to be quite a lot missing. She was mortified at having to ask.
We are asking for money and plan to pop a small line about it along with the menu choices and hotel info. The emphasis is very much ion people coming to join us and have a good time, not on giving gifts.
Megan

Jewelleryfan

lovecake wrote: »

You could set up a honeymoon gift list - that way people know what they are actually paying for - like a bottle of chamoagne at the hotel, or a dinner at a particular restaurant, or a tour or excursion etc. Although you don't have to use the money for that specific thing in the end, at least people feel as though they are contributing to something specific. There are a few different sites that offer this service and prices vary, but it might be worth looking? I was thinking about doing this myself so I'll let you know if I come across a good site. Xx

Thanks that's a really good idea, I'd be really interested if that works for you I'll have to look into how it works cause I haven't got a clue :rotfl: