We are about to pull the purse strings soooo tight!

Eager_Elephant

(((Alice)))

The post you put up 2 days ago could have been me writing it....my troubles with my husband have been well documented in my diary and I know there are similarities. My husband proimised to change so many times with regard to spending and messaging other women but ultimately he couldnt or wouldnt - of course now he has huge regrets but the problem was once I brushed the issue under the carpet he thought he could continue doing what he had always done.

I called time on my marriage this year and its the best thing I have ever done - honestly the stress is none existent and I dont have to worry about what he is up to ever or what he is spending on.

I thought I would stay for the children although I planned to leave when DD turned 18 but in the end i couldnt do it and actually DD has taken it so well and thinks its amazing to have 2 homes and that her parents still get on.

I was talking to a work colleague earlier this year who is in her 50's and has been with her partner for 22 years, she has been unhappy for a long time, he is very career orientated and wanted a child with her promising her that he would do the bulk of childcare but its been left to her so she works full time and runs about after her son who she didnt really want but was persuaded to have. Her son is about 8 now.
She told me that she was too old to start again so she would just continue to put up and shut up, I realised that I didnt want my life to be like that and the sooner I got out the more of my life I would have to live.....it was a culmination of many things that led to that day that i told my husband my marriage was over but I dont regret it for a second.

Remember that your happiness always counts, you dont need to stay until the debt is paid off, you dont need to stay while the kids are still at school, you can make your decision at any time.

Alice_in_Poorland

Wow EE your post has taken my breath away. You are right, so so right.


I'm so glad that everything is working out for you. I think you are very brave.


I am actually stuck for words. Thank you for your post.


xx

Alice_in_Poorland

Nothing much to report here on the money.....I'm still digesting EE's very poignant post.


I have done a little list for sburys to spend my doubled up n3ctar points.


One thing was we've been charge £59.99 for our Microsoft office 365 personal thing we have on our computer. I'm not really sure how this works....do we still need to pay for it? I can't remember paying last year...hmmm.


Anyway must get on with some work. :-)


xx

Alice_in_Poorland

Just noticed I've been awarded my 7year badge. That has gone so quick. I can still remember sitting in the supermarket carpark in my lunchtime asking the bank to extend our overdraft......and of course the answer was no. Which was probably the best decision as it was a wakeup call.


Thank you for all the support over the last 7 years.


xx

Eager_Elephant

Thank you Alice for posting on here for 7 years, detailing the ups and downs of paying off debt plus of course pegging out and not putting on the heating for as long as possible.:rotfl:

I would say here's to another 7 years but....well I hope that your debt will all be gone but you will still be posting advice and guidance to others and hopefully also in a good place where you are happy:heartpuls:heartpuls

Alice_in_Poorland

Thanks EE:rotfl:. I'm not sure I'll ever get to the stage where I can give advice but I'm certainly going to keep plodding.

Talking of pegging out......we've woken up to a frost this morning, but I've still pegged 2 loads out and have another in the machine. There isn't a cloud in the sky so I'm hoping that because our clothes line is in a great position...a nice little sun trap...the wash will dry quite a bit.

Kids and OH are going to rugby this morning. I'm staying here to catch up on some jobs.

I've spent my ne3ctsr vouchers. I got some new bedding, kitchen wear, 2 x gifts and treated myself to a new pair of boots (oh the guilt).

DS1 has been offered a contract/work so will be staying is the US when he finishes.....he needs to sort his visa out, which of course is more money. Although he will get some financial assistance with that. This is his dream come true so fingers crossed it all works out for him.....I am so proud of him, even though it's tinged with a bit of sadness as we do miss him so much.

Meal plan went to pot this week, and the fridge needs sorting out. I've put 3 x £10s away for presents. Have done meter readings, there is a suggestion on the website that we increase the direct debit to £122 per month. Current balance is £26.00, which works out that since the last meter reading in September we have used an average of £20 per week. Which doesn't seem right, seems a bit low. The heating is now on for 4hrs a day, and the hot water is on for an hour in the morning (which is the minimum) and the 4hrs the heating is on in the afternoon/evening.

My NSD count has gone to pot as well.

Right must crack on.:D. Have a great day.

Xx

Alice_in_Poorland

How are we at the second of December already.:eek:

The last two weeks before this weekend have been really fraught. Inparticularly last weekend. Me and OH had a row of all rows. We missed all the social events we were going to. It got to the stage where I didn't recognise the person I was. It was horrendous. I won't bore you with all the details on here but it wasn't pretty. Why don't I leave....nope I just can't, I haven't got the balls. That is the long and short of it.:(

Anyway fast forward to this weekend, I think OH has had a personality transplant. I don't think for one minute it will last, but it will do for now.

Anyway on the money front.......last weekend we didn't go out. We had already got tickets for a do, couldn't sell them so that was a waste of money. Have done about half of the Christmas shopping. Didn't do a meal plan last week/this week so shopping spends have been a bit chaotic shall we say. Back on it from today though.:)

Last night we spent £60 but that was for meal, drinks and share of a taxi. I know not very MSE.

At the end of this month we should have another debt down. we were offered a good F&F but as you know I struggle with this as I still have the mind set that I have to pay every penny back. I am going to get back on track with everything.

I've had a letter from Bcard claiming that they had worked some figures out incorrectly and not dealt with properly accounts that we having trouble paying. They have advised that due to this they had taken £650 off my outstanding balance. If I could get in touch with PRA group to discuss. Hmmmm now I'm currently not paying anything off this so is it just a ploy for me to make contact.

Forgot to cancel my experian trail, so ended up paying £14.99. :mad: my fault entirely.

Haven't pegged out for what seems like weeks. Although have got a good system on the heated airer going.

Is it just me that doesn't feel Christmassy? I just can't get excited about it. I just want 1st January to be here, another fresh start!! How many of these have I had.

Anyway off to do a late breakfast/brunch/lunch for everyone when they come back from rugby.

Then I'm going to do general housework, ironing, then a chill on the sofa this afternoon.

Xx

Alice_in_Poorland

Forgot 3ON want to put our DD up for gas/elec by £12 per month. :-(

Xx

Eager_Elephant

((Alice)) Sorry you've had a bad few weeks, this place is so lovely, no one will judge you for any decisions you do or dont make.

I hope that DH's new personality stays longer than this weekend - sometimes men need a short,, sharp shock to pull their head out of their !!!!!!......


My STBEXH is a nightmare at the moment - I have updated my diary, I dont want to clog up your diary by posting about whats happened.

I am not feeling Christmassy but then its the 1st Xmas of not being with my STBEXH although DD has ideas that we should all eat our main meal together......

brizzlegirl

How stressful for you EE and for you Alice. Horrid. But glad you're talking about it. Don't brush it under the carpet so to speak.

I wouldn't turn your back on a F&F Alice. I understand your misgivings but these folks are running a business and made a business decision to lend money that you are now having problems paying back. If 'they' are prepared to offer a F&F I'd take it and move on. You get your life back sooner and you will have paid your debts, in full (clue is in the name )

Have a good week x