Not entitled to JSA - I was a carer

Samsaragirl

tottybum wrote: »

I don't understand this at all. Caring for someone close and dear is all about love and doing the right thing. It is not a form of employment that you should be paid a wage for, never mind national insurance contributions.

My wife has cared for me for years through all of my illnesses, but never expected the government to pay her to do it!

What a sorry state this country is in when people want financial compensation for just being a decent human being. In most other countries in Europe people do it as their duty!

So the fact that my mum cares for my dad and I care for them 'out of love' but have no income apart from maintennce from a long difficult divorce (after q long marriage), and find myself means I should just wing it, be on call 24/7, do a bit of shopping... Both are in receipt of AA, dad higher mum lower

NOOOO, I can never rest, I do not know what is coming within the next hour, Dad fallen, having to put him on the commode os mum can't cope. Or maybe the dementia which gest worse by the day.

I get CA for one (rightly) but can see this going on for so long. I am 47 and feel my life is over, so your comments are disgusting!!

Samsaragirl

bobajob_1966 wrote: »

A cruise perhaps?

Yes, In my dreams

QuackQuackOops

tottybum wrote: »

There is the possibility that he could get a part time job and work the caring round that with help maybe from other members of the family.

How does that work then?
Example. Couple...one gets severely ill, the other has to give up work to care for them because they are at the stage of needing help with getting up, eating, toiletry habits, washing, dressing, moving, sitting, standing etc.
The disabled person cannot be left alone so if the partner wanted to work the government would need to supply a carer at much greater cost anyway. But even so, the partner does not have time for a part-time job.
By the time my mother is out of bed, had breakfast, showered, dressed and my father has put the bedding in the wash, cleaned up after breakfast, dressed and sorted out my mum its almost lunchtime.
Afternoons he takes her to hospital appointments, doctors appointment, therapy, on some days then prepares dinner, makes the bed when the bedding is dry, ironing, shopping, then feeding mum and then its time to wind her down.
Even if he had the time for a part-time job he has already worked a full time one and is exhausted himself.
Also, my father doesnt even get carers allowance because hes over 65 yet he saves the government thousands of pounds by caring for my Mum instead of having outside help.

Also, which other family members are available to help? Not everyone has a large family or a family who are near by. Besides that not all family members would feel comfortable wiping their parents bottom and other such things.

You talk about this kind of caring as though it is a walk in the park. It is not.
You talk of caring as though it is a couple of odd jobs here and there. It is not.
I would hope you will never be in the position of having to give up your job to care for your spouse full-time. It is not fun and noone chooses to do it.
Oh and you had better get yourself a rather large nest egg just in case because you will need it to live on if you do have to give up work.

I really dont know why I bother replying to be honest as you obviously dont understand.

Samsaragirl

Samsaragirl wrote: »

Yes, In my dreams

Everyone is allowed a dream

Unfortunately my mother would be horrified

I still will save up for one though, and I damn well will do it

If my mother can put my dad in a 'home' for 2 weeks ' respite for her, which then means me tooing and froing from care home to taking her here there and everywhere, then I can afford a week out for myself (not financially) but morally.

My mother is totally dependent on me even if my father was not in the picture. She cannot get out, has never driven, has ostracised her friends.....

Oldernotwiser

Samsaragirl wrote: »

Yes 'considerably more' ONW as in 39 a week IS and in my case SMI payments, but, at the same time wondering what the future holds and a life on hold.

I always wonder what a carer means when s/he says something like this.

ETA

I've just remembered that I've said this to you before.

Samsaragirl

Also, which other family members are available to help? Not everyone has a large family or a family who are near by. Besides that not all family members would feel comfortable wiping their parents bottom and other such things.



Well said Quackquack, the rest of your post was totally relevant as well, but I am an only child, recently divorced, with 2 chikldren, 24, new Dad with a great job, and 18 just started uni and staying at home and loving it.

Just for my sake, am angry that I went to grammar school in the early 80's and could have done ui educatrion for free, but my parents openly admit they did not want their only baby to leave. So here we are many years later..

QuackQuackOops

FBaby wrote: »

This is like me saying that as a single mum, I could have been entitled to all single parent's benefits for 7 years, but because I worked I saved the governement 100s of thousands. It doesn't work like that, it is not a saving to the government if you are doing something you should be doing anyway, but the government will provide support if you are trully in a position not being able to do so. You were, therefore it wasn't a saving for the government.

Its nothing like your example at all.

You work because you are better off working and eventually will benefit you and your family more. Any benefit you do not claim is not a 'saving'.

However, if someone is ill/disabled they DO need care. Someone has to do it. The government has to provide it if the family member does not but if the family member chooses to give up their wage to care for the family member then they ARE saving the government money.....a large sum of it.

Samsaragirl

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

I always wonder what a carer means when s/he says something like this.

ETA

I've just remembered that I've said this to you before.

It's just clicked with me.

You think I'm putting my life on hold to get their inheritance.

I'm actually putting my life on hold to care for the people who cared for me and to do the right thing by my instinct.

To be fair, I thnk too much has come at once for me, and I'm very aggressive has not evaluated it myself, but the old saying, the old man never sends you more than you can deal with.

I did have a very sheltered first 30 years

QuackQuackOops

tottybum wrote: »

But then as I have said. Caring in those circumstances is what you would have done whether Carers Allowance was there or not.
Most people I know would care in that situation and NOT see it as a means to it boosting our flagging money situation.

All I am trying to point out that money comes way down the list when having to care as you do, well it should do!
And as for the person that first made this thread goes, Carers Allowance is there to help out, not to be seen as a 'wage' for which NI contributions should also be paid, nor as a top up of the family income.

It was originally given to someone who had no option but to care and it was impossible for them to earn any money.
Bit by bit it has been used, as I have said, to boost what money was already coming into the household.

Personally I and my wife would be devasted if any of our children were to have to care for us and expected money to be paid to them for doing what was their duty. We brought up our children at great expense for which no payment was made or claimed. She never went back to work after they were born. To receive the care from them in later years should be under the same conditions.

Your poor kids!!
They are expected to care for you or your wife if need be for love?
What happenes if they are unable to work too?
How do they pay their own bills? Their mortgage?

There are very very few people in this country who would give up a fulltime well paid job that was essential for bills in order to care for a family member full time for nothing. They couldnt possibly manage.

QuackQuackOops

tottybum wrote: »

THAT is really showing your lack of knowlege!

Once you achieve the age when the OAP kicks in, the government will pay either Pension Credit and/or OAP. No difference - a pension of some sort will be paid to everyone whether they have NI contributions or not.

Claiming CA will be extra money paid by the state.

I have no objections to CA being paid, but there has to be a line drawn between what is duty between husband and wife or child and parent - and care provided to others that is not what society would expect to happen.

Personally I would not allow CA to be claimed or paid between those two or similar relationships. That care should be provided out of love, respect and duty, and certainly not financial reward.

Are you totally obtuse???
First off, you cant claim Carers alllowance anyway if you are a pensioner.
As for the duty aspect, again, I ask...how do they pay the bills if they have to give up work?