A Thread for After Debt?

dh123

Been pointed to this thread by Mort, after posting a thread of my own last night feeling very down.

I'm almost halfway through my DMP now, and up until now when the nights are long and dark and most things involving being occupied cost a few quid!

The thing that I can't stop thinking about is the fact that I'm 23 years old, I have a beautiful girlfriend and want my own house and family, but will the after effects of a DMP stop this, I appreciate it will make it harder, but with zero chance of getting credit currently, and my report showing defaults across the board, how will I ever again prove myself to creditors and get the mortgage I'll need, any stories even the bad stories I feel will be a massive help at this first real stumbling block in terms of my DMP.

I actually feel now, for the first time in my DMP, as bad as I felt the month before I began. I know this is ridiculous with the progress I can see I made and the initial wall I got over being telling the people I loved what I'd done and facing up to it, but I'm sure it's not unique in feeling like you've hit a brick wall on this long but necessary journey.

Mort

Hi dh123,

Have a good read through the entries on this thread and you will see how an unrepresentative bunch of us have been getting on.
I think you have some advantages on your side, you are young and a good way through your DMP.

Life will throw up all sorts of things and you will find many of them mentioned here, new relationships, car problems, appliance breakdowns and repairs, births and moving home.

SOT2011

Hi dh123

I have to agree with Mort, you are young and already on with your DMP, and now it is underway, it means you are already on your way to coming out the other side. Much better to be moving through the process now than putting off the pain and prolonging the problem.

As Mort also says, life will throw up a load of stuff one way and another, but each time it does you learn another lesson in how to get through it and/or how to stop it happening again.

Best wishes and stick with it - it will be worth it in the end!

SOT xx

Bubbalou

dh123 wrote: »

I actually feel now, for the first time in my DMP, as bad as I felt the month before I began. I know this is ridiculous with the progress I can see I made and the initial wall I got over being telling the people I loved what I'd done and facing up to it, but I'm sure it's not unique in feeling like you've hit a brick wall on this long but necessary journey.

No it's not unique. I'd venture to say it's quite common - I felt that way - I would say there is a bit of a plateau stage after as you say you’ve got over the initial hurdles of telling people, setting up a DMP etc. BTW WELL DONE on doing those things, plenty people don’t and problems just accumulate. So give yourself a big pat on the back with that instead of giving yourself a hard time, it makes the world of difference. You may find your biggest critic is yourself, and if you can be nice to yourself rather than harsh, things do look up a bit, I promise – I’ve done it!


I hope some of this helps….. Best of luck and again WELL DONE!!

LianneH

dh123 -you have had some good words of encouragement. Read this thread from the beginning, it always helped keep me focused!

Hi everyone, I've managed to venture back on!! The joys of newborns! lol. I've been reconfiguring my budget practically daily since that's me on mat pay now pfft! Thankfully I had saved for xmas during the year so DD and DS have a ticked off list, feels so good not to have bought anything with credit!

hope you are all doing well

x

Mort

LianneH wrote: »

Hi everyone, I've managed to venture back on!! The joys of newborns! lol....

Welcome back LianneH. Hope you are enjoying the newest arrival to your family.

LianneH wrote: »

Thankfully I had saved for xmas during the year

Ditto, plan to do some provisions buying tomorrow.

backinbusiness

Wow - no posts this year so far - so a very Happy New Year to you all. (In February - lol).

I suppose it's natural that once we become debt-free, having had the light-bulb-moment, revised our spends, etc, etc that as long as the ways are ingrained we don't venture here so much.

I've been debt-free over 2 years now, but STILL can't part with money easily. Relationship still going well (who'd have thunk it!) and I am managing to treat myself there, in terms of wee weekends away, theatre trips, etc.

Been a really expensive time with the teens. School introduced a new uniform, trips to Iceland, Paris, (and Blackburn!), plus the ongoing instrumental tuition, usual teen spends etc. In the bad old days I'd never have been able to consider such trips, they'd have been luxuries, but they are manageable these days as long as I stay careful (which I do).

On a mid-term break here so need to think about getting out and about, although a bit of a sofa-sit and a coupla cuppsa tea sounds like a better option.

Hope you are all well - and do post a wee update if you can. It'd be good to hear how we all are.

BiB x

SOT2011

Hi BiB and everyone else too!

Doesn't time fly!

I've not been posting much, trying not to because I tend to use it as a method of procrastination when I have more important things I must be getting on with (usually studying for my OU courses).

I am shamelessly lurking on a number of threads including the Need not Want one, which whilst I am not being as strict as I could be at the moment is at least making me think twice before flashing my card!!

Great to hear from you, and great to hear the relationship is going well! I recently started to think I might be ready to think about climbing off the singleton wagon (been 15 months or so already!), but since then I have been having terrible nightmares about dates etc so maybe I'm not as ready as I thought :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Hope everyone is well & happy.

SOT xx

Brokenpromiseland

Used to read this last year when I was still paying off all our debt and think this would be so great:) but as I reach the end should be April/may I am starting to panic.

We are paying the last of a loan of to my parents and trying to save a little at the same time so I can pay cash instead of using the credit cards every time. But I find I'm scared to use the money in the bank :mad:, I have tried to put it into different pots to budget as things come up but I always seem to need it for other things and get angry because I have to take money meant for something else or I put it on the card!

Want to enjoy life after debt not start a whole new set of problems:o

SOT2011

Hi Brokenpromiseland

It can be really tough to adapt, and building up pots so they are full enough at the right point for the all the bills that arrive will take time, but whatever you do , make sure you remind yourself how far you have come.

It is a journey, each time you pay money into a pot for another day you are actively working towards your ideal position, but things can and will knock you a bit off course now and then, but each time you are in a slightly better position and over time there will be less going on the credit cards etc

You are going soooooo well, it isn't easy, I still find it hard, but touch wood I have now got all my regular pots to where they need to be, though at the moment I'm not doing brilliantly. If you can possibly squeeze it out of your budget try and give yourself a bit of a "fun" budget, a bit of money you give yourself permission up front to spend. I have a £40 per month fritter fund, I withdraw it at the start of the month and that is for free spends, not groceries etc without it I was more likely to veer off the rest of the budgets too because once I dipped into one it was a big like licence to skim from another.

SOT xx