Cremation Costs for Cat

tankgirl1

FabSascha wrote: »

Thanks so much everyone for your replies. I don't think I can manage to speak to someone on the phone as I couldn't even make his cremation plans by phone, I had to e-mail instead. It isn't taking a lot to start me off crying again, but at least it's not continual like yesterday and I've managed to get a couple of things done tonight which is more than I expected.

Having given it some thought, what I'd really like to do is get an indoor plant and add some of his ashes to it, then grow it as well as I can. However, I really have no idea where to start as I know nothing about plants. I would like a plant that will flower and will be incredibly easy to maintain as I think anything too hard to keep alive risks me accidentally killing it and I'll probably have to go through all this again. I'd ideally like to grow it from scratch if that's not unrealistic for someone who knows nothing about it; does anyone have any thoughts on this? Should I post this elsewhere? Any thoughts welcome and appreciated and thanks again to everyone who's replied so far x

I thought of this too, and spent hours researching easy to keep Sept flowering plants (she was both born and died in Sept). However in the end I didn't do it as I was scared that the plant would die and it would be too upsetting.

I keep her ashes in my bedroom

SnowyOwl_2

FabSascha wrote: »

Thanks so much everyone for your replies. I don't think I can manage to speak to someone on the phone as I couldn't even make his cremation plans by phone, I had to e-mail instead. It isn't taking a lot to start me off crying again, but at least it's not continual like yesterday and I've managed to get a couple of things done tonight which is more than I expected.

Having given it some thought, what I'd really like to do is get an indoor plant and add some of his ashes to it, then grow it as well as I can. However, I really have no idea where to start as I know nothing about plants. I would like a plant that will flower and will be incredibly easy to maintain as I think anything too hard to keep alive risks me accidentally killing it and I'll probably have to go through all this again. I'd ideally like to grow it from scratch if that's not unrealistic for someone who knows nothing about it; does anyone have any thoughts on this? Should I post this elsewhere? Any thoughts welcome and appreciated and thanks again to everyone who's replied so far x

The sentiment behind that is obviously very heartfelt. It is still early days for you though, so take your time and do lots of research. It can be difficult to keep a plant going, and a lot of them don't live indefinitely anyway, though I realise you might still decide on another plan.

As I mentioned before I have had much loved cats die before. This may be a little macabre, but I have kept all their ashes in the house. I know I won't be in this place forever and if I were to put their ashes in the garden or under a rose bush etc etc then there would come the day when I'd have to leave my kitties behind. What I really want is for their ashes to be popped into my coffin when it's my turn to go. Maybe I am weird, but that's what I want.

I hate to bring this up now, but if you do this for Cookie, what will you do for your other kitties when it is their turn?

Keep going with your daily life, Cookie is still in your heart and in your mind, this dreadful grief will lift eventually but you won't forget him even after you have accepted he has passed on.

FabSascha

Hi everyone, thanks for all your replies. I don't think keeping the ashes in the house is macabre, at least I hope it isn't as that's definitely what we have in mind; we already have a nook in the bedroom picked out for him. He'll be facing us when we sleep. Boyfriend even wanted to have a shelf mounted on the wall so he could be nearer to us. He was a one-of-a-kind cat and everyone who knew him is devastated; there have been online tributes (one by someone who doesn't even like cats but loved Cookie) and the boyfriend and I are struggling to come to terms with it. We just put together his 'last meal' which is a bag full of cheese, chicken, ham, cheesy bites (dog treats but he kept stealing them) and we decided to include a bit of our hair too and all of this will go in with him for his cremation. Whilst of course it's going to be really sad when the others go, Cookie was in a league of his own and we know this is going to be the hardest experience for us. What's weird is that, normally when I open up the cheese or ham I'm surrounded by cats, but tonight none of them came when I was preparing his last meal.

I'm back and forth today; there are some moments when I'm starting to feel relief as I feel like I might be feeling better, then it all comes crashing in again. It's impossible to deal with so I'm just trying to get on with things.

My fear of the plant is that it'll die off and I don't want to make his ashes into something else. Really the thing that I'm struggling with is that he's gone forever and I feel like I need to something to stop that. I know getting a plant and making his ashes make the plant grow won't mean he's back, but it'll feel like he's lived on, if that makes sense?! So in theory I guess if the plant dies I could use another sprinkling of ashes to start another plant I suppose.

I was looking into that Rainbow Bridge site where you pay a yearly fee to have your cat made a resident, but whilst I don't think it's a con as such (it's a really great site full of amazing advice) I struggle with the idea of paying it - although it does work out cheaper than say, buying a plot at a rememberance garden or similar. What I'm thinking I might do is put together a little blog, not with the view of it ever being anything other than an online memorial for him so that he lives on online. I'd really prefer something more real though.

FabSascha

Me again I just wanted to post a little update as it's been a few days and I'm feeling much better; I'm certainly capable of actually doing stuff and not crying, plus I can talk about Cookie without crying too which is HUGE progress. I found out that Cookie wasn't actually put to sleep, he passed literally within seconds of me leaving which gave me a lot of comfort because firstly, I felt like he chose to go rather than me making the decision for him and secondly, it felt a bit like he hung on just long enough to see me before he went. He was an amazing cat and I wouldn't put it passed him, as ridiculous as that may sound! Apparently the second I left he stopped purring and went. I got a lot of comfort from that.

The individual cremation and urn came to just under £130. They pick up the pet and deliver the urn a week later (I wanted to clarify this as I read somewhere that the urn was posted back to you which freaked me out and I'm pleased to know this isn't the case!) and we've decided to keep the ashes indoors as he never went outdoors so it would be weird to scatter him anywhere. I've cleared a shelf next to my bed and that's where he's going to be.

Thanks to everyone who posted replies to this thread, I was completely consumed with grief but I got control of it because of a few reasons and whilst I'm still incredibly sad he's gone, he was a very sick cat (he was diabetic with a brain tumour that meant he walked lopsided; he wasn't in pain though until the last day and it was agreed between the vet and I that until we saw some sort of sign that he was unhappy that his life was still worthwhile) and when he was ready to go, he let us know. I'll never forget him, but I'm glad he's no longer suffering.

It was very therapeutic posting on here as I don't really know many 'animal people' other than my partner and close family, so thanks for hearing me out and thanks for your kind responses xx

paddypaws101

Fabsasha, I am gald to read your update and hear that you are coming to terms with things.
Your description of Cookie above actually gave me a jolt
'he was a very sick cat (he was diabetic with a brain tumour that meant he walked lopsided; he wasn't in pain though until the last day' as my Paddy was also diabetic and I think he had a pituitary tumour as he lost use of his back legs at the end.
I have been dealing with my own grief and had actually forgotten that I need to go and pick his ashes up until I read your post above. I will make that sad journey today, and am sure the tears will flow once more.