So angry and upset about bridesmaid

lindens

I think as you've tried different approaches you buy her the size 14 and give to her and say - either you wear the size 14 or you don't come. I'm sure that will help her make up her mind!

mrcow

lindens wrote: »

I think as you've tried different approaches you buy her the size 14 and give to her and say - either you wear the size 14 or you don't come. I'm sure that will help her make up her mind!

Yes - she won't come - and neither should she if someone was being so offensive.

stir_crazy

mrcow wrote: »

Yes - she won't come - and neither should she if someone was being so offensive.

Sorry, but I will be a bridesmaid for my best friend and she will be one for me when I get married. If my friend bought my dress a size too small I would have asked her to exchange it for the correct size, then if I lost any weight I would pay to get it taken in. NOT the other way around. I want to look good for my friend's day, and I want her to look good on my day. And the only way to do that is get a dress that fits.

At the end of the day, being a bridesmaid is about being there for your friend, not to put your personal weight dilemmas first.

ETA: I didnt make my point clear, I think you should get the dress in a correct size and ask her to wear that one and try and exchange the smaller dress or sell it. If she's offended, thats her problem and she can decide not to be your bridesmaid.

RainbowDrops

Nip it in the bud now - speak to her frankly and say that you understand that it's dificult to shift a few pounds and that you want to get the dresses swapped as you're worried that any attempts to alter the dress might spoil it and you want her dress to look as nice as the other BMs.

Don't let this stew as you'll just get more frustrated while she gets more & more stressed too.

jemb

losingpatience wrote: »

She's told me herself it doesn't fit a few weeks ago which is why she was on about getting it taken out. I said to her that it would be easier to just exchange it for the bigger size rather than go to the expense of having it taken out to what would be the bigger size in any case but I think she's in denial about her size so just refuses to let me get her a bigger size.

The dress is £100 and I can't afford to buy her another one, and to be honest I don't see why I should buy her 2 dresses because she refuses to let me take the one she has back to exchange it. Over the months I've tried to encourage her to come running with me, offered her diet tips, been supportive etc I've told her I think she'd be more comfortable in the next size up and don't want her to feel self conscious on the day, I've tried taking the softly softly approach and I've also said they have your dress in stock, should I just exchange it for you but she keeps saying no.

I don't care what label is in the dress, no-one is going to know except me and her. All I want is for her to look nice and be happy about what she's wearing but she's refusing to budge on it

Bloody hell, you're talking like she is a whale! lol. Sit her down, tell her you ARE going to exchange it as she needs to feel comfortable. She needs to be able to sit, dance etc so take ti back together? Most important question is it still the shop and will they exchange?

BlueAngelCV

mrcow wrote: »

Yes - she won't come - and neither should she if someone was being so offensive.

How is that offensive? The BM chose a dress which didn't fit and has refused to let her change it for the right size. She's told her that she is getting it let out so has given the impression that all is in hand. What is she planning to do come the wedding? Not turn up? Turn up in a different dress?

Whilst I can understand the frustration at not losing the weight (although it sounds like she's had time to do it if she'd really tried) she is being completely unreasonable and inconsiderate by refusing to get this sorted.

I would give her a call or go round & see her and have it out (nicely). Ask her if she's managed to get it let out and tell her it's not too late to change it for the bigger size if not.

wanchai_2

OMG, she is being very unreasonable here!! Why won't she just let you have the 12 to exchange it??? It's so simple, no need for such drama on her part. What a strange way to carry on.

NoAngel

wanchai wrote: »

OMG, she is being very unreasonable here!! Why won't she just let you have the 12 to exchange it??? It's so simple, no need for such drama on her part. What a strange way to carry on.

Yeah, now that OP explained that the BM knows that she knows, then I don't see why anyone would act like this! OP, i'd give her some sort of ultimatum.

MaggieBaking

If you can, invite all the bridesmaids round for a "bonding" session asap. Tell them to bring their dresses, make-up, shoes etc. If you have any gifts of jewellery I'd give them on the night so that is kind of an excuse (just checking it matches the dress!)

Then make them all do their hair, make-up put the dresses on.... With a bit of peer pressure your bridesmaid will get told by the other maids that she needs a bigger dress, then make sure she leaves it, you exchange it and take it round to her before the wedding.

She's being unreasonable, you shouldn't have to go to all that effort before your wedding however, it seems that you will have to!! She's absolutely nuts.

To save her face, you could tell everyone you bought her a size 10 and she needs a 12, rather than the truth of a 14!

mrcow

BlueAngelCV wrote: »

How is that offensive?

Saying the words, "Either you wear the other dress, or you don't come" - you don't understand how that would be upsetting? Seriously?

There are a few VERY simple ways of solving this problem. The above suggestion is not one of them!