So angry and upset about bridesmaid

losingpatience

.................

Cornwall_Girl

What a pain! Maybe you could give her a call and ask how it's going fitting into her dress. When she tells you she can't fit in, you could always suggest she gets a panel put into the dress to make it bigger, if it's a dress where that would be possible. Or if it's going to stress you that much, just ask her to not be a bridesmaid anymore, or tactfully get a few photos taken without her in. It is a real shame, but imagine how embarrassed she must be feeling to not have wanted to tell you yet. You never know she might be going on the cabbage soup diet already. I managed to lose enough weight in 2 weeks to go from a 12 to a 10 (still a bit of a squeeze) without trying too hard, she might be able to do it.

Only other suggestion is she gets some super amazing underwear that sucks her in enough to get in it and look okay.

Idiophreak

losingpatience wrote: »

I've had a bit of a nightmare with one of my bridesmaids. I bought the bridesmaid dresses months and months ago and bought this one a size 12. It was too small for her so I said I would exchange it but she was adamant she'd lose the weight and didn't want the next size up. She took it home with her to keep trying it on to see if it fitted.

Now it's 2 weeks to the wedding, she's lost no weight, it doesn't fit and despite me saying to her time and time again I'll change it for a different size she's refused. She was adamant she'd just get it taken out but I said I didn't think she'd be able to and low and behold I'm right. All this I have found out through one of my other bridesmaids, she hasn't told me. I just don't know what to do, I could honestly cry, there's no way it's going to fit her, and if she somehow manages to squeeze into it it's going to look horrible because she's quite busty so she's going to be spilling out.

She's your bridesmaid, so presumably the two of you are pretty close...So why not just call her and talk it through?

NoAngel

I would imagine she's probably also feeling pretty stressed out right now which is why she won't have contacted you herself. She's possibly unsure about what to do and feels like she's let you down. I think you should give her a call and let her know that you're aware of the situation. Two weeks is long enough to sort out a new dress if it's required. It'll be a shame if you fall out so close to the wedding. If it were a dress for anything else, she'd simply have to get another one, which is what could just happen now.

Bennifred

She (the bridesmaid) should buy herself the dress in a larger size - her mistake, should be her cost. If she won't do that, then she gets dropped as a bridesmaid and you sell the too-small dress to recoup some of the money.

mrcow

How much is the dress? If is was me, I'd buy the size 14 dress anyway and give it to her. If she wants to wear it, fine, if not, then keep it on the hanger and return it after the wedding.

I'd just buy it, tell her that you did so because you're a stress monkey and you were worried that it may go out of stock.

That way, she saves face and you can stop worrying.

Dekazer

Magic sucky-inny pants plus magic sucky-inny tights can do wonders.

But yeah, I'd go ahead and buy the second dress and return the one that's not worn.

Grimbal

mrcow wrote: »

How much is the dress? If is was me, I'd buy the size 14 dress anyway and give it to her. If she wants to wear it, fine, if not, then keep it on the hanger and return it after the wedding.

I'd just buy it, tell her that you did so because you're a stress monkey and you were worried that it may go out of stock.

That way, she saves face and you can stop worrying.

This definitely. She's your BM, and presumably a friend too. I'm guessing she's feeling terrible/embarrassed by this - not helped by you getting "angry & upset" :cool: The situation is as it is - buying a second dress deals with the problem effectively.

She presumably did have the best of intentions when telling you that a size 12 would be fine. Unfortunately, it didn't work out - she didn't do this to mess up your day you know !

Idiophreak

losingpatience wrote: »

What I'm trying to say is she won't let me get her a bigger size, if she would I could take her dress back and exchange it, I wouldn't have to pay out any more money.

Yes I'm sure she had every intention to lose the weight but at the end of the day she hasn't which would be fine if she'd let me get her a dress in a bigger size but she won't!

...or so the other bridesmaid has said...?

I'm confused...have you actually spoken to her about this, or not?

Grimbal

Would you be able to return the 12 after the wedding for a refund if it wasn't worn? If so, could you cover the double cost of both dresses for the limited time until your day? That way, whichever dress was not worn could be returned.

picnic

why not go round to her's and ask to see her in the dress..?? you could even take your other bridesmaid with you and your dress on the pretence of wanting pics taken before the day..?? just an idea....

good luck & congrats for your big day