At the end of my tether with work...but can I leave?

carefullycautious

Agree with above poster.

Both hubby and I have left jobs we had become unhappy with though not at the same time.

It was tough for a few weeks but we took temporary work in the interim and were lucky that this led on to permanent jobs which we are still in.

It is hard out there at the moment so make sure you can cope financially whilst looking at what to do next. They say a change is as good as a rest so dont stay too long in a job that is making you ill.

gallygirl

I was in a similar situation a number of years ago OP but with the difference I was a single parent.

It was becoming unbearable so something had to give. In the end I gave myself four months - in that time I would do what I could to get another job, but if I had no luck I would leave anyway. It totally transformed how I felt - I had control back again, I was choosing to be there and there was a way out. That in its' turn helped me cope with the stress and I could probably have stayed there for longer, IYSWIM. Luckily I got another job after a month, still there 12 years later :T.

Take control back - you are CHOOSING to work there, short term, till you find something else. Now get out there and find something else .

Good luck :beer:

floss2

OP, print off the emails & texts, look in your company handbook for their bullying policy, and follow that to the letter. Speak to your manager and get them involved in sorting it out.

Bullying & harassment at work is not pleasant - I've been through it and quit a job because of it, despite being a single parent of 2. Sometimes it has to be done for your own preservation. All I would say is use the time off effectively as your health allows and look for another job. Lots of job hunting can be done via the internet, polish your CV, speak to your GP about counselling and relax.

Tiddlywinks

Go over to the Employment Board and post some Qs on there - there are some experienced legal and HR peeps that might be able to offer something useful:

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.php?f=141

Is your company large? What are its anti-bullying / dignity at work policies? Could you raise the issues? Could you request a transfer? Get a referral to company Occ Health?

The reality is that it is a big bad world out there at the moment and the unemployment figures are on the rise - a hostile environment to find work. Would leaving and then becoming long-term unemployed affect your health just as badly as staying put whilst you apply for other jobs?

It is easier to find work when you are in work - how will you explain on your job applications about the reason you resigned?

Realistically, if you resign you won't be able to get Job Seekers Allowance straight away. If you then can't quickly get a job, how much pressure will this cause at home?

Best wishes with this.

Tiddly

peachyprice

OP, please don't leave your current job without finding a new one.

I've been in your wife's position several times over the years, and it's horrible. Even if you know you can make ends meet by cutting back it puts an awful lot of pressure on your wife to keep all the balls in the air and can only breed resentment.

If you really can't face going into work go see the doctor and get signed off, but use that time to look for a job, you may well find the process of knowing you are being proactive will have an uplifting effect on your mental state and it will certainly make your wife feel happier knowing you are trying to change things.

lostinrates

OP you have my sympathy. My dh is also having a bit of time at work....the downturn in the market also seems to have drawn people with inferiority complexes but positions of responsibilty into a situation where they feel they can be a little sadistic. BUT, there is no way dh would leave his job without first securing another one. In fact....he's hoping to be in UK for two interviews very shortly.

eamon

This is part of the joy of being a 1st line manager. It comes with things that you have to be able to do and be willing to carry them out. Whilst its nice to be friendly with the people that you supervise remember you are a supervisor for a reason. Though it is possible that people management is not in your job description. Assuming that it is then if you are already off sick with stress this will in all likelyhood be out and about (common knowledge). If that is the case then your role as supervisor is already finished unless you are prepared to take firm action (aka grow some). Return to work access the emails and text messages, print of hard copies. Insist that disciplinary action is commenced against the perpatrators. Your colleagues have to know the boundaries of acceptable behaviour in the workplace.
Of course if you are of the opinion that management won't help then its time to develope an escape plan. As other posters have suggested if you want the opinion/advice of experienced HR and legal professionals then visit the employment board for more information.

pinkshoes

Start looking for a new job, but don't leave your old job until you have a new signed contract!

In the mean time, sorry to be blunt, but toughen up! Do you like the people sending the texts and emails?! If not, then who cares what they write, as what does it matter?! You're a supervisor, so you'll always get people hating your guts. It happens in most (all??) companies!

My ex was head of IT, and some people were too dumb to realise he had access to all their emails, some of which said some shocking things about him. Water off a duck's back - he just got one with the job.

Nixer

"It happens in most (all??) companies"

It (using company e-mail or personal e-mail during work time to !!!!! about colleagues) is gross misconduct in mine. As is bullying.

OP your health is the most important thing. Would you feel able to get support in raising a grievance or would it be better to focus on getting work elsewhere? They say it is easier to get work whilst you are in work, but it isn't impossible to get work when you have resigned- I did it twice, albeit quite a few years ago now. I'd also add that I am the main earner and I feel the pressure a lot so can see where your wife is coming from, but she'd surely rather see you well than in this state?

I second the advice to go to the employment board.

chrisvaldez

Thanks all for the responses.

I appreciate what people are saying about being a first line manager, but when you see and hear communications about people "needing to do something to get him out of here", which includes making complaints about non-existent things I am supposed to have done, it's a bit different than just wanting to be people's friends.

I think half of the problem is that it's half work related, and half brought on by financial worries and the possible fact I am in my late 20s and suffering from arthritis (which is getting more and more painful each day.)

In the meantime I am formulating a plan to get out; plan is to line up employment and then hand my notice in, with a 3 month deadline. If I don't have work after 3 months I'm quitting anyway (unless by some miracle all the bullies leave first!)