MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should Carol take Sharon on?

Here's this week's hypothetical situation for you to cogitate on:
Should Carol compete with her best friend?

"Carol and Madge have always worked together, they applied together and have been best friends since school. Unlike Carol, who's great with her cash, Madge's a financial nightmare; she's heavily in debt and is struggling to keep a roof over her son's head.

Now there's a promotion available at work, it's all Madge's been going on about as her 'way out'. Carol's not mentioned it, but she'd be interested in applying too and is the only one in the firm with as good a chance as Madge."


Click REPLY to enter the money moral maze (please remember, be polite to other MoneySavers, even if you disagree with them)

Past MMDs:


  • They should both apply and may the best girl win. Fair and square.
    (AKA HRH_MUngo)
    Member #10 of £2 savers club
    Imagine someone holding forth on biology whose only knowledge of the subject is the Book of British Birds, and you have a rough idea of what it feels like to read Richard Dawkins on theology: Terry Eagleton
  • Gut instinct is that best woman wins.

    HOWEVER, since they have been friends forever, would it ruin their friendship if Carol got the job?
    "Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, But beautiful old people are works of art."
    -- Eleanor Roosevelt
  • Perhaps Carol should talk to Madge about it and "come clean" by stating that she is also intersted in the promotion. If Madge is really her friend she deserves this honesty. There is of course the chance that someone outside of the firm may be able to apply which is even more reason that Carol should apply with Madge's understanding.
    Annual Grocery budget 2018 is £1500 pa £125 calendar month £28.84 pw for 3 adults
  • Carol,

    You have only one life and one career. You owe it to yourself and anyone else who has ever invested in you, including your employer, to make the most of the opportunities you have been given. You must be diplomatic but you must apply.
  • Is Madge Madonna by any chance? LOL If so, she can sell the brassires on ebay to support her son. They will get a good price!
    Annual Grocery budget 2018 is £1500 pa £125 calendar month £28.84 pw for 3 adults
  • Frogling
    Frogling Posts: 1,218
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    My view is that career should be kept separate from friendship - if you want to go for a promotion, why put it on hold just for the sake of your friend? If Madge was simply a colleague who you didn't know very well, rather than a friend, and you had heard she was having financial difficulties, would you have second thoughts about applying for the same job?

    Perhaps Carol could point Madge in the direction of MSE, where she could pick up lots of hints, tips and sound advice on managing her money. After all, if Madge is a financial disaster, how will having a little extra money coming in every month help her? She needs to learn how to manage her money - she might just decide she can afford to spend more if she gets the promotion!

    I think Carol should tell Madge that she will be applying for the job too - Madge might be upset at first, but if she's a true friend then she will understand that Carol isn't doing it to spite her, but because she wants to further her own career.
  • Carol needs to sit down with a bit of paper and work out how much she needs the promotion against how much she needs the friendhsip! If she goes for the promotion irrespective of who wins Madge will feel betrayed. Having had a best friend myself for many, many years whose support has been invaluable to me, my instinct is to say back off and let Madge go for the promotion. Another chance will come along in good time and a good frienship is worth almost anything.
  • Muffcat
    Muffcat Posts: 18 Forumite
    Yes, of course Carol should apply for the job and the fact that Madge is applying also should make no difference, although it might be kind to tell her. It would be quite wrong for Carol to abstain out of sympathy for her friend's financial state. Presumably this hasn't happened overnight, so what guarantee would there be that with more money at her disposal she would use it to put matters right? Perhaps a present of Martin's book would be a friendly gesture!
  • Idiophreak
    Idiophreak Posts: 12,024
    Combo Breaker First Post
    It's madge's problem if she can't sort out her own finances.

    Carol shouldn't put her life on hold because of it.

  • conradmum
    conradmum Posts: 5,018
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    The fallacy in Madge's thinking is that a promotion will be her 'way out'. It won't be. Her only way out is to change her ideas and habits about money. Even if she were to get the promotion she would only rack up more debt in the end. So Carol shouldn't feel guilty about applying for the promotion. It won't difference to Madge's long term predicament, and if Madge is a real friend she won't take it personally.
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