MONEY MORAL DILEMMA: Should Carol take Sharon on?

conradmum

Sorry double post.

mistdemon

Easy one this - Carol should go for the job, she can't be held responsible for Madge's poor financial record. If she gets it and Madge falls out with her then the friendship wasn't worth much anyway. I'd be tempted to direct Madge towards MSE and, more importantly, a debt counsellor...

trundlecat

Carol should go for it! I wish I had £1 for every time I've heard "if I only get this job that'll be the end to all our money problems" from a friend of mine. She's almost always got the jobs but never gets out of debt because of her skewed ideas of what are "wants" & what are "needs". You could hand a serial debtor a winning lottery ticket & they'd still be in the same position a few years down the line..... but they'd still "need" their hair doing every month, a skiing holiday once a year etc.

martin900

I've kinda been in a similar situation although in reverse.

The company I worked for fell on hard times and unfortunately it meant the staff faced permanent redundancies. Having been with the company for eight years since graduating from university I was completely green to the process, although I was told early on that it wouldn't affect me.

They were wrong. Seventy redundancies was the figure that the management arrived at, some were individual positions some were pools. Now if you're unfamiliar with the term 'pool' I'll explain. A 'pool' is where there a group of similar skilled people effectively fighting for fewer positions than there were before. So for example 5 people fighting for 2 positions, 3 have to use the front door.

Yep, you guessed it, I was in a pool of 2 competing for 1 position. Along with a good friend of mine who I'd worked alongside for nearly 7 years and I'd also knew from my college days.

He wasn't the sharpest tool in the box, but all the same was a thoroughly nice well meaning bloke who really didn't know what he wanted to do with the rest of his life. Anywho, we were both interviewed and scored seperately for the position but I had already made my decision. I was going to let him have the position whatever the outcome. There were many reasons for my decision but the main ones were that the job responsibilities had changed and there was still an uncertain future for the company. But the biggest reason is that I felt like I would be stealing the job out from under my friends nose. It wasn't that I felt he deserved it more but that I felt I was better prepared for the outside world and frankly it was the kick up the bum I needed to further my career.

I spent the next 4 months getting tanned in the lovely summer weather, watching England snatching defeat from the jaws of victory in the World Cup and also watch my redundancy money dwindle. However in November I started contracting and I haven't looked back, I now earn more than 3 times the wage I used to and have a far more fulfilling working life to boot.

The upshot of all this is if you feel your concience can't handle such a decision then don't do it, I live by 2 mantras 'everything happens for a reason' and 'do unto others as you'd be done to yourself'.

I now have a better job in so many ways and I sleep sound at night.

petermcuk

Some firms downsize themselves into extinction!..... I got made redundant from a bullying company, had a difficult couple of years but I am now back on track and no longer terrified of redundancy!

Individual personal principals will determine if both go for the job but I agree the promotion will not solve the problem for Madge - Her outgoings will always expand to absorb her income unless she changes her attitude. Surprisingly this can work the other way round too. When I had little money I spent much less on non essentials.

Biggles

Who the hell's Sharon?

Anyway, obviously she should go for it. She doesn't know what qualities the company are looking for to fill this post, and Madge may be given a free run by Carol and turn out not to be what they were looking for at all; how would Carol feel then about not having applied?

Mics_chick

Yes Carol should apply because despite what Madge says I think if she's got more money coming in then she'll just spend more and her debts will get worse anyway... Why should Carol put her career and ambition on hold for someone who can't handle her money even if she is her friend?? Cos you never know - the job might go to another applicant anyway... If Carol is Madge's friend then maybe a tactful word about money (like point her to MSE ) is all that she can realistically do to help her in any case...

mazz1953

My first reaction was that Carol should go for the promotion, but on second thoughts, I think she should hold back and let Madge go ahead.
While it is true that if Madge gets the promo and more money she will probably squander it, that would be up to her. However, if Carol was to apply and get the promotion, I believe Madge would feel betrayed and resent Carol success and this would affect their friendship.
There may well be more opportunities in the future for Carol to apply for promotion, it would be much more difficult to mend a broken or strained friendship.

Saucepot

The best plan would be to either apply for the promotion or indicate your interest without telling a soul. Then do all that one can to undermine your competitor by fair means or foul. Indirectly (there must be no blood on your hands) show your competitor to be incompetent.

When your promotion is anounced, say you were surprised to be asked to do it, and pleased to be given the opportunity. Tell people you are only happy to take on these managerial responsibilites because you work with such great people.

Sympathise with your friend and indicate you will do all you can to assist her progress, and now your heading upwards, that with mutual support you will claw up the ranks together.

Then plot your next step upwards.

fififofum

conradmum wrote:

The fallacy in Madge's thinking is that a promotion will be her 'way out'. It won't be. Her only way out is to change her ideas and habits about money. Even if she were to get the promotion she would only rack up more debt in the end. So Carol shouldn't feel guilty about applying for the promotion. It won't difference to Madge's long term predicament, and if Madge is a real friend she won't take it personally.

I totally agree!