Do bridesmaids keep their dresses?

teamonsters

I just found that the dress I wore as bridesmaid for someone this summer is being sold. It was bought second hand. This is the first I've heard of it, the bride never mentioned it! Would have been nice to know...
I wouldn't even mind if she had paid for it herself in the first place, but their parents paid for everything! They're selling loads of their wedding stuff but keeping the money themselves. I find that pretty distasteful myself, am I being oversensitive?

RainbowDrops

I bought my girls dresses from Oasis for about £65 each & let them keep them.
I'm not sure it they'll wear them again, but I wasn't that fussed about trying to sell them & would've felt like a bit of a !!!!! asking for them back to do so.
Had I spent more & got something more traditionally brides maidy, then I may have considered selling them on after, as who really wears a traditional bridesmaid dress again.

RainbowDrops

teamonsters wrote: »

I just found that the dress I wore as bridesmaid for someone this summer is being sold. It was bought second hand. This is the first I've heard of it, the bride never mentioned it! Would have been nice to know...
I wouldn't even mind if she had paid for it herself in the first place, but their parents paid for everything! They're selling loads of their wedding stuff but keeping the money themselves. I find that pretty distasteful myself, am I being oversensitive?

I don't understand why you are upset by it as it sounds like you didn't paid, and you must've given the dress back for them to sell it.
Ans why not sell wedding stuff after? No point in having a load of stuff in a cupboard not to be used again?

sugarwalsh

I wouldn't ask for my flowergirls/bridesmaids dresses back as they have been bought individually to suit each girl. They are also from the high street, so not very 'bridesmaid', if you know what I mean! If I bought traditional bridesmaids dresses though I would maybe ask for them if I had a set. I might drop into conversation that if they weren't going to wear them again they might like to give them back. Maybe when purchasing if they were expensive. Obviously if they knew they will wear them again then I would let them keep it.

As for finding them on the high street for your budget I would say you will easily be able to do so. You have loads of time before your wedding, something suitable will turn up.

Megan

MaggieBaking

Actually, I would be annoyed too if I wasn't informed. Perhaps you can offer the bride a token sum to keep it?

And yes, I think it's a cheek to sell everything and keep the money yourself!!!

sugarwalsh

teamonsters wrote: »

I just found that the dress I wore as bridesmaid for someone this summer is being sold. It was bought second hand. This is the first I've heard of it, the bride never mentioned it! Would have been nice to know...
I wouldn't even mind if she had paid for it herself in the first place, but their parents paid for everything! They're selling loads of their wedding stuff but keeping the money themselves. I find that pretty distasteful myself, am I being oversensitive?

I don't really know why you think it is distasteful? Surely they don't need a cupboard full of wedding dresses, bridesmaids dresses, vases and candlesticks?

Where the money came from in the first place is irrelevant really.

Megan

RainbowDrops

MaggieBaking wrote: »

Actually, I would be annoyed too if I wasn't informed. Perhaps you can offer the bride a token sum to keep it?

And yes, I think it's a cheek to sell everything and keep the money yourself!!!

But why? Surely it's more wasteful to pack stuff away never to be used again, at least this way the "investment" is providing more value...?

MaggieBaking

RainbowDrops wrote: »

But why? Surely it's more wasteful to pack stuff away never to be used again, at least this way the "investment" is providing more value...?

I would sell it and pay my parents back what I earned.

sugarwalsh

To me, if you gift someone something you then don't have control over what happens to that gift. If they had given her an actual gift and she was selling it for her own gain then I think that may be a bit distasteful, but as they gave her the money to pay for her wedding and she has now paid for it I don't see the issue. Surely it makes sense to sell the stuff and set herself up with a small nest egg? I am also confused as to why teamonster is upset as she has clearly returned the dress? Maybe she should make an offer for the dress if she wants to keep it?

If the girls parents have paid for the whole wedding it would suggest they aren't short of a bob or two anyway. I know my parents wouldn't ask for any money back if I make anything from the stuff I will be selling after the wedding. It is slightly different as they have contributed a small part - but if I were to follow your example Maggiebaking then I would have to give them a percentage from the sale of my dress back! Or if I were to keep it then perhaps I should offer them part of the dress??

Megan

MrsDrink

sugarwalsh wrote: »

If they had given her an actual gift and she was selling it for her own gain then I think that may be a bit distasteful

Not sure if I've read you right here Megan, but are you saying if you were given a hideous ornament from Aunt Sally at Christmas you wouldn't even considering putting it on ebay/car booting it so you could turn it into cash and buy something you liked/wanted/needed instead? (Maybe waiting a year or two though, not putting it on ebay on Boxing day lol).