Do bridesmaids keep their dresses?

jemb

Is it really a case of being 'allowed' as some people say? I coulsnt imagine having the awkward conversation of. So then, about that dress... I was a bridesmaid in April and didnt even think about offering it back. Probably should have offered but I dont know whether it's just me but feels slightly embarassing?

mrshassall1987

My bridesmaids kept their dresses mainly because they can wear them again lol

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Teatro-Teal-green-mesh-prom-boned-bustier-dress-sz-16-/250803271373#ht_500wt_922 I had these ones :-)

minerva_windsong

I've been a bridesmaid twice, for both my sisters, and kept the dresses both times. My mum paid for them but I would quite happily have contributed if I'd been asked, and indeed offered to pay something towards them (and didn't do it begrudgingly either, weddings don't come cheap so the least I can do is take some of that burden off and help out!).

Ultimately I think it depends partly on what the dresses are like (ie if it's something they'll wear again) and mostly on what you want, but the main thing is to be upfront with your bridesmaids about what happens to the dresses afterwards.

lisajane8482

For my friend’s wedding I paid for my daughters dress (She was a flower girl), I also paid for her hair. My friend bought her headband and her shoes. Her bridesmaids (her sister, niece and sister-in-law) contributed £50 to their dresses and paid for their own hair and makeup.

I have bought my matron of honours dress and tiara and won't be asking for them back. I chose a tea length burgundy dress with black net so she can wear her own shoes if she wants, if she wants new shoes she will be buying her own. She's not really a jewellery wearer so I'm unsure as to whether I will be buying her a necklace or not and as for her hair and makeup I think she will most likely be paying for this herself too unless we are under budget enough to pay for it and she is happy with that.

Dekazer

You'll know best what is appropriate for you and your BMs. Personally, I wouldn't dream of asking someone to be a BM (assuming that entails more than just turning up on time) and wearing a dress I chose, and then expect them to give it back or pay for it.

However, you know your BMs. Would they be able, or like to, choose and buy their own dresses within a colour scheme? Do you want very 'weddingy' dresses that you would choose and buy, or more 'regular' dresses that they could buy and wear again? If you'd like to hire dresses, or buy dresses you can sell later, could you buy them some fabulous shoes to keep?

I think most matters of etiquette raised on this forum really boil down to you knowing your friends and family and behaving in a respectful and appropriate way. What's good for the goose isn't always good for the gander

continualdiamond

My sister was my bridesmaid and I was very relaxed about it all. Only thing I said I wanted was it to be silver and have a black waist band as my cream wedding dress had a black waist band.

I originally wanted teal, but struggled to find the right shade. As my sister lives back home in Australia it was a lot easier for her to choose her own material and she had her husbands aunty make her dress. She's fab as she made my sisters wedding dress and her bridesmaid dresses, so knew she'd do an excellent job. I told my sister it was up to her if she wanted short or long as it was her dress to keep and wear again.

We left buying my shoes and hers until she came over in August.

In terms of £, it cost roughly £15 for the material and her husbands aunty didn't charge her to make her dress. Shoes we got from next, both mine and hers.

Jewelleryfan

Thanks for all your replies!:)
I don't feel like I can ask for the dresses back as I have asked them but having long dresses and they wear their own shoes would cut a cost and also using their jewellery as a present would help so I think I'll do that. Although I don't know how likely it is to find long dresses on the high street for £50 odd? I would like them to look bridesmaidy and classy so they probably would wear them for another night out unless it was a posh do :rotfl: I've seen some purple dresses in eBay from china that are made to measure for £45 so maybe that's an option?

nicola00007

my budget is hopefully £50/£60 as well. going shopping on saturday to have a look but if i cant i have found 2 styles of purple dresses on ebay.

jewelleryfan mines orginally were coming from china but i have come across a shop that does them in birmingham now on ebay. what style were you looking for?

Jewelleryfan

nicola00007 wrote: »

my budget is hopefully £50/£60 as well. going shopping on saturday to have a look but if i cant i have found 2 styles of purple dresses on ebay.

jewelleryfan mines orginally were coming from china but i have come across a shop that does them in birmingham now on ebay. what style were you looking for?

Thanks i have sent you a message x

pinkteapot

Interesting thread - I wouldn't have dreamed of asking my BMs for their dresses back, and when I was a BM this year it never occured to me that I might not keep the dress!

BUT... I don't think either of my BMs have worn their dresses again. The dress that I BMed in is in a cupboard at home and not likely to ever be worn again (too formal even for Christmas parties etc). But I'd feel guilty putting it on eBay in case the bride saw it! Redecorated a room in similar colours recently so I was tempted to turn it into cushion covers...