Childminder

Amara

mummyroysof3 wrote: »

i think the problem you have is that even if you decide to move her to a different childminder how do you know they wont have another baby?

Very good point

whitewing

I think you should just say to the childminder that you consider her having another baby to be a decision that only her and her husband should make, and that you are sure that everything else can be worked out if and when it happens.

skintchick

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Even more reason why she should see different people more often.

I dont see why. Shes only 18 months. At that age my DD was quite shy, and had always been very clingy and hated being held by others. Everyone told her what you're saying, that I needed to make her go to other people, that it would be good for her, that I was making a rod for my own back, yadda yadda.

I took no notice, carried on letting her be clingy and allowed her to explore places and people at her own pace, and you know what? Aged 2 she is now THE most outgoing child of all her friends and chats to EVERYONE, literally, people in supermarket queues, wherever.

Let them develop at their own pace, some children need more time to explore the world and feel safe in it than others, it's no indication of how they will turn out in the end.


As for the childminder question, I don't know, four weeks seems not very long but she's used to looking after children, so I'm sure she'll be fine. Plenty of people have more than two children and cope perfectly well, after all.

butterflylady

Thank u for all of your responses.

I have 2 children so I no it is possible to have a newborn and look after a toddler, I also no how hard it is, I also no where standards slipped as I struggled to recover from the birth and establishing breast feeding, I also had a lot of family support. However at the end of the day I am paying for a service and I expect standards to be maintained.

I think that once she is pregnant and we have a due date, I will seriously have to discuss the amount of time she has off with her, I'm still thinking 10/12 weeks. I no she needs the money but I need to make sure my children r properly looked after. The CM and I have already agreed regular contact with her the baby and my DD and DS to ensure that they retain the bond which they have with her.

In an ideal world she wld get pregnant straight away, the baby wld then be due in July at the beginning of the summer holidays and that wld ease the problem.

meritaten

yes - and you are well aware we DONT live in an ideal world! it takes time to find the childminder right for you - so I would be looking now. No disrespect to the childminder - but its better to prepare for the worst and then hope for the best. than to hope for the best and suddenly find yourself without a childminder!

skintchick

Tell her about SMEP - worked for me in one month!
http://www.pregnancyloss.info/sperm_meets_egg_plan.htm

mrs_marty

I think your childminder is being very kind to everyone by saying 4 weeks! In fact does the law not state 6? (granted for employed people) My beautician went back to her business after 3 as the girl she employed had a baby and the other had holidays to take, and it was alot she felt to take on but had to.

At the end of the day if you value her then I would suggest to her 6 weeks and try and make alternate plans for 6 weeks, let your childminders hormones and hurts heal. With my hormones I felt didn't feel like they settled until 6 weeks which was the time mine started sleeping right the way through.

I was without my childminder for a spell of a few months due to a very serious spell of lung infection, and you do get by with a lot of juggling, it made me appreciate her a whole lot more!

JC9297

basscadette wrote: »

It's true that some sail through it, I wish I did. But it's not often the case.

I think actually it is the other way around. Most women are able to carry on doing their job perfectly well whilst pregnant. Yes they may be more tired, especially in the first trimester, but they rest more in the evening or go to bed early.

cannyscot_2

Our local childminder had 2 weeks off exactly. She appeared at the school on day 2 with baby in pram.

She had no problems at all in pregnancy and took no days off. She did however look very capable and sturdy and fit plus she had a lot of support from her husband.

To be fair I worked to the end of all my pregnancies in an office -I weas working on the day I gave birth to my third.

As to afterwards -if she was breastfeeding I would think that was pretty hard as there would be long periods when she would be occupied and b/f can be very tiring. -I didn't bottle feed but i'd think it make it easier to look after other children.

marywooyeah

shellsuit wrote: »

I wasn't being harsh at all, I was thinking more practical, and what I'd do if I were in the OP's situation.

My kids went to a childminder a few years ago now and she got a puppy (which grew massive within a couple of months!), so the children finished at the end of that month. I didn't want a childminder with a dog, she got a dog, so I stopped paying her for her services.

Was I harsh there too?

I went to see a childminder and didnt leave my son with her because she had a dog that lived in the kitchen. I didnt want my son to be fed food from a kitchen that had a dog living in it!

We all make choices about our children's care, and OP needs to consider that if the childminder has a tough pregnancy/labours early/miscarries she won't be as reliable. Equally the childminder may manage the children and the pregnancy just fine and she'll have nothing to worry about.