Childminder

butterflylady

Afternoon,

I am hoping someone out there might have some advise as I have never been in this situation before.

My DS (4) and DD (18 mths) started with there current childminder in March and after inital problems my daughter has finally settled.

The childminder is good, flexible with the hours and school holidays.

Now she rang my yesterday and said shes thinking of having another baby and how did I feel about her having 4 weeks off after she has it.

I've never been asked permission before for in regards to someone having a baby!! So i didn't no what to say.

I personnally think that 4 weeks is too short a time off after having a baby, though I know she is worried about money. I also no how time consuming having a new baby is and worry that mine on top of her own will be too much.

In terms of covering her time off it is not possible for me or my OH to have leave to cover this period, so I would need to find alternative childcare, I have no idea how this would work, I guess I would have to agree a set amount of time with another childminder or nursery, I am worried that my DD would struggle to settle as she is not good with strangers.

I have to call her back later on today, so any advice on what to say???

Thanks

Nicki

Does she work in a network of childminders? Where I live the childminders tend to form small groups and will cover each other when one is ill or on holiday. So you may find that she has, or will have, a contingency plan for who will cover her when she is off, and that there will be plenty of time for your children to get used to the cover during her pregnancy.

I don't think she is asking your permission as such, more working out what you will do when she does announce her pregnancy. I guess she wants to know now if she will be looking for new children to mind once her bump gets visible, or whether you will stick around long term, so she can plan accordingly.

If she's only thinking of ttc and isn't already pregnant though, you have a lot of time to think about what you are going to do, and to settle your children somewhere else once she does get pregnant of that's what you want to do.

Lotus-eater

butterflylady wrote: »

I am worried that my DD would struggle to settle as she is not good with strangers.

Even more reason why she should see different people more often.

Bumpmakesfour

Is she definately just "thinking about" having another baby or do you think she is actually pregnant already and testing the waters?
With the childminders around here there is a close network who meet up in the holidays/cover each others leave etc.Does she have fellow childminders who could help you temporarily with your little ones?

Oldernotwiser

If you're as happy with your child minder as you say, I'd bend over backwards to cover those 4 weeks. It's not as if she's just going off on holiday for a month!

butterflylady

There are other childminders local to her but they do one school and my DS is at a different one, so it is not possible for them to take and collect him, she did mention a couple of others she knew, one of which was caught by ofsted with too many kids so I wont be going there and one I don't know so there might be an option there.

However like everyone I have my own quirks which mean I straight away rule out anyone who smokes or has cats ( I have a bad allergy to the fur).

In regards to my DD not settling well, I have done excately the same with her as I did my DS, he will go to anyone happily and never bats an eyelid, DD by nature is more wary and doesn't like change.

What do you think about only having 4 weeks off? I understand she needs the money but can you really cope with a newborn 2 toddlers and older school age children?

Does anyone have any experience of a nursery taking the children for a set number of weeks say 10/12?

Like I said it is impossible for OH and I to cover the time, as I work term time only so no annual leave and it would take up the whole of my OH's yearly leave entitlement to cover the 4 weeks, it is also unlikely that he would be granted so much leave at once.

shellsuit

4 weeks off, is that it?! I was shattered when all mine were newborns and I doubt very much I would have alert enough to look after someone elses children at the same time.

I'd be worried about when she's in late pregnancy, if there are any complications with the pregnancy or labour and the first few weeks after the 4 weeks. Her priority will be her own baby, and that wouldn't be good enough for me.

Oldernotwiser

butterflylady wrote: »

What do you think about only having 4 weeks off? I understand she needs the money but can you really cope with a newborn 2 toddlers and older school age children?

She'd have to if the older children were her own.

Like I said it is impossible for OH and I to cover the time, as I work term time only so no annual leave and it would take up the whole of my OH's yearly leave entitlement to cover the 4 weeks, it is also unlikely that he would be granted so much leave at once.

What about friends and/or family? If your OH could take 2/3 weeks that would be very few days to cover. Would you be able to take unpaid leave?

basscadette

It isn't just the four weeks off after pregnancy that would be an issue though. If she has a difficult pregnancy (nausea, mobility issues etc) like me, how is she supposed to fulfill her duties properly as a childminder? I struggled with an office job and felt very ill for 22 weeks, then very fat and unwieldy thereafter. There is no way jose I could have looked after other people's kids during most of my pregnancy. On the other hand, she might be hard as nails and not struggle at all.

I also agree four weeks is too short and that she will really struggle.

rachbc

people who have more than 1 child mange to be pregnant/ have newborns and look after other children - BUT its hard work and would you feel comfortable leaving your children with her after only 4 weeks? Would it be more disruptive for your daughter to get used to a new carer for a short period or permanently?

thatgirlsam

I think people are being a bit tough on the childminder here - I would have thought she will know her capabilites and what she will be able to manage after 4 weeks (provided pregnancy and birth are straightforward)

Plenty of women return to work after 6 weeks and seem to manage just fine

I think it is jolly good of her to broach the subject with you, seeing as she is not even pregnant yet!

Shows a concientious and professional approach to her job and if I were you I would not want to lose her, she is considering your childrens needs even though she doesn't really have to - She could just tell you she is pregnant and having XXX weeks off work as that is her right