Childminder

claire16c

Until she is actually pregnant I wouldnt worry. She could take 6 months on average to conceive, so it could be longer. Yes it could also be a long shorter than that, but until she actually does, I wouldnt waste time worrying.

Then when she does get pregnant you could start looking more seriously into back up cover.

Plenty of people are pregnant and do their jobs fine, and lots of women go back to work after having a baby. Who knows once she has a new baby she might extend the 4 weeks, but until this all happens Id expect her plans to be fairly up in the air.

Luciferswench

She should be praised most people dont discuss getting pregnant with anyone other than their family before trying. She is entitled to increase her family and she didnt have to let you know prior to ttc really but she did. She must be a really awesome childminder to think of you and your children and give you time to think over the impact it will have on you and your children lots of people wouldnt.
As for only taking four weeks off childminders are self employed and maybe she can only afford four weeks with no pay.

basscadette

It's not that people are making assumptions and being unfair though - pregnancy can be hard and whilst you have to look after your own children if you have them, looking after other's children full time and having to entertain them full time (as that's what you are being paid for) can be very difficult. I had awful morning sickness until 22 weeks along. Until I was about 17 weeks I could barely keep my eyes open. Whilst this is not the case for all women, the OP is paying for a service and that's a service I personally couldn't give, along with a lot of other pregnant women.

It's true that some sail through it, I wish I did. But it's not often the case. If I was a childminder I would have had to have thought about stopping because of the state I was in. Had I carried on then the children I was looking after definitely wouldn't have got the attention they were entitled to. Okay, this lady might be different but the OP should be thinking about contingency, as she is rightly doing. And with a newborn in tow, after the first four weeks when she takes on children again, that newborn is going to take up most of her time and be the priority. That's natural and likely.

willow_loulou

I think the childminder has been really good to you giving you so much warning to get your head around it all!

Just a thought, assuming your childminder isnt already pregnant and gets pregnant in say a few months time your dd will not be far off of the free nursery placement every day. That will help who ever is looking after her and actually potentially could be a great place for her to stay all day for the 4 weeks. If she isnt great at socialising and change maybe you should think about her going sooner rather than later one or more mornings a week.
My dd went from her 2nd birthday and loved the freedom it offered her

Spendless

I do know a CM who told all her parents she would be taking 4 weeks off and then at the last minute changed her mind and decided on 6 months (she'd discovered she was entitled to MA, which changed her initial decision) so the parents did have to find alternative care. In your case since you say that even 4 weeks would be difficult for you and your OH to manage without childcare for, I'd put this to her and see if she can come up with a short-term solution whilst she is off, she may have contacts with other childminders who are interested in stepping in.

shellsuit

Why are some people saying others are being harsh on the woman?

My child is my priority and if I need a childminder, then I obviously have a job, so that is my 2nd priority.

I don't want to be juggling things incase of illness/complicated labour/4 weeks off turns to 6 weeks off etc, so I'd look around for another childminder who would suit MY and my child's needs, after all, I'd be the one paying for it.

I wasn't being harsh at all, I was thinking more practical, and what I'd do if I were in the OP's situation.



My kids went to a childminder a few years ago now and she got a puppy (which grew massive within a couple of months!), so the children finished at the end of that month. I didn't want a childminder with a dog, she got a dog, so I stopped paying her for her services.

Was I harsh there too?

gratefulforhelp_2

Bitsy_Beans wrote: »

I think people are being incredibly harsh on the poor woman.
You'd really get different childcare on the basis that shes pregnant?? Why? Is that any different to having a childminder with asthma or some other condition......any sort of accident could happen to anyone whist caring for children.....why would pregnancy suddenly be so threatening.
As for newborns needing a lot of attention. How does anyone with more than one child manage? Do we stop caring for our first borne when the second came on the scene? No we carry one and if the CM is any good she will be used to giving the attention required to each individual child. I actually think newborns are far less demanding than older babies. Happy to sleep, eat and be cuddles. I managed to do all that and still play with my son and give him the attention he needed.

I think there are a lot of assumptions being made, some pretty unfair really.

I do agree with this, but OP I would be prepared for her wanting more than 4 weeks off.

Amara

I'd give her this 4 weeks off. If she's good, she's worth keeping and she would have to share her attention if older children would be her own. Most likely, everything will be fine. And if complications appear? You'll think about it later.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

If she conceived tomorrow, your DD would be at the age my DD started preschool.

There were plenty of mums with new babies at that preschool.

There's no reason why she can't look after a newborn and a toddler. It's what most mothers do, after all - you'd be doing it with your own children on the weekends - and she has more experience than you, after all, if she's looked after more than 2 children in her job.

Childminders help each other out. Your daughter won't be likely to be in the position of watching an emergency birth on the kitchen floor (:)) and anyone can be ill, whether pregnant or not.


I would ask her if she could provide assistance in finding relief cover for you well in advance, so you have a plan as to what is going to happen, and then smile sweetly and say congratulations when she announces it.




Saying that a pregnant woman can't possibly cope with looking after a child, that she couldn't do her own job, that it could be dangerous, etc, sounds like the excuses given for discriminating against women of childbearing age in the workplace.


And after all, if it got out that so-and-so's mother sacked their minder when they found out she was pregnant, as they didn't want the child to have any competition (which is how it could be interpreted) won't help anyone to get an alternative placement.

mummyroysof3

i think the problem you have is that even if you decide to move her to a different childminder how do you know they wont have another baby?