Anyone else missing family abroad?

BugglyB

morocha wrote: »

Me too ! I miss my family so much, it is being three years since i saw my mum and brothers, aunties, cousins.. etc... we used to be so close, almost all of them have children now and i feel so left out. In the last two years my brother became a dad twice, and i havent met my first or second niece yet, i also have a daughter, she is missing out so much. i have like a million cousins and almost all of them have babies now.
Dont take it the wrong way please, but English people is not like south americans, and here many times i feel so lonely, my bil and sil, act so cold sometimes, i am not close to their children.
I get very sad when i speak to my mum on the phone, a visit is not always posible, it cost around £1200 for me and DD, my mum has not got the money to make it here, and a flight from there to here for one person is almost the same as me and dd going over there.
I miss my family the most when me and DH have problems, i have no family here, i feel like there is no where to run when i feel deppresed.

I feel very sad for you reading this. You sound very homesick. It must be hard being so far away from the people you love.

Do you know if where you live there are any other south americans you could meet up with?

Edit - also, there is no offence from what you said about english people. I have a friend in South America at the moment for work, and he says, everyone is so nice to him, but its not the same as being in England with people from home!

euronorris

BugglyB wrote: »

My sister said she feels like a lot of her friends are like 'oh things are ok for you, you live in Australia', like shes never allowed to have a bad day or not enjoy her job. Also I think its hard because facebook only shows the good and exciting sides of peoples lives. It will never show someone sat on the monday morning bus to work missing you.

Yeah, a lot of people assumed that I must be a) earning loads of money and b) out in Amsterdam having the time of my life every weekend.

The reality is that I don't earn much more than I did in the UK, and I can't afford to go out every weekend. Once a month is more like it, and I often forgo that so that I can afford a visit home.

But you're right, we're not likely to put on FB about the boring daily commute and so on.

Alisha2008

I'm also far from home (although not as much as some people here!), my parents live in Spain and i do miss them, and I also feel very guilty for leaving and not being there for them, they are getting old and I feel I should be there... I can see them quite often though, so it's not too bad, but it's not the same as living around the corner. I only have one brother who also lives in London, and there are no kids in my family (and I doubt there will ever be), so luckily I don't have more family to miss.

I also agree with morocha.. being spanish i find difficult to deal with english people, but I have lots of spanish friends.

lady1964

My thanks to people who have been very kind with their advice.

I have already joined an online community in Beijing which holds monthly events, they've already sent an invite for the one held this month but of course we couldn't go as we're still in the UK, but we may make the next one! Once we get somewhere permanent to live there, I will join a gym and look for social events that I can attend and also plan to look for volunteering opportunities so I can get involved and fill my days. I also intend looking into doing a qualification to teach English as I used to deliver life-skills sessions to disaffected 16-18 year olds in our local college, so I would like to make use of my skills.
I'm confident that my girls will manage here, we're all sitting down together later tonight to talk about the boundaries & house rules they want to have in place for each other so that they can live as harmoniously as possible.
They are happy for us to go, they realise that we are also people with our own needs and that we've reached the point in our lives where we can do something for ourselves, although I still feel a little selfish, as if we're putting our needs above theirs, yet the rational part of me knows at the ages they are, they can and will manage.
I've decided for now to focus on the practical issues of this move rather than the emotional, which can be faced much nearer the time. If I think about the emotional side of it too much, it just makes it all harder.
Thanks again for the advice, it's really helpful and it's nice to read how other people manage with this and that I'm not on my own with my feelings.

morocha

BugglyB wrote: »

I feel very sad for you reading this. You sound very homesick. It must be hard being so far away from the people you love.

Do you know if where you live there are any other south americans you could meet up with?

Edit - also, there is no offence from what you said about english people. I have a friend in South America at the moment for work, and he says, everyone is so nice to him, but its not the same as being in England with people from home!

No, i live in a v. rural area up in the north, i go to England maybe twice a year and it is nice to hear some spanish while there.
Iam even thinking about getting into debt and taking DD home in January, my dh thinks it is a lot of money we can not afford, i just need to see them, he does not see the point, he thinks like ohh it is £1200 we could buy a car, pay your driving lessons, etc... i see it like, it is a lot of money, but my family means a lot to me. I have left everything to come to live here for him, i had to learn a new language and change a city life for a rural life, i have done enough i think.